Blogger has decided to make a fool out of me again, it is now 8:51pm on the 30th of March… and Blogger isn’t allowing me to long into my account to post so here I am using Word to type out my post -_- Grr… Then my post will be late
Many things!! I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this but the whole night study issue is resolved. Going to testify both in Cell tomorrow and during Zone Gathering upon Cecelia’s request ^_^ I staying in HG2 and Zone 3A!!
At the start of the year I was pretty pissed because of the changes in the education structure (or whatever) there was not going to be a January intake for all JCs / CIs. So yea, I felt pretty sad that I would never get the chance to experience all that. But now just TODAY the 30th of March at noon, the minister of education declared that due to proposed future changes to the system (But this will not affect me or you… it will be in at very least 2 years time) that they are going to resume having the January intake!
I didn’t really pray about it, or that I could go for first three months but I was really hoping to get a chance to! And the chance re-appeared! Just another reason to cram doubly or triply hard for the prelims. Praise be to the Lord!! Who else can do such an impossible thing like challenge and change the ministry’s decision? Only God, I have proven my point… “There is nothing my God cannot do”
Doing worship this Friday, going to message the songs to… Jean or You Rong / Alfred / Charlie later on by tonight… I might send it really late so I hope they don’t freak out or rail on me or anything like that. What to choose? Hmm… Guess I’ll ask the Lord for inspiration!
Oh yes! And this morning, my first period was PE! And for all TAF members, running is in the morning before USSR. So I was not at my best that morning during PE, and I had to run my 2.4k test run. 12 whole rounds. *ulp* Being the usual unfit me, I chose to do a jog the whole way, but until the 6th to 7th round it was getting really unbearable… by the 10th round, I was ready to collapse. What did I do? Before the class and all round the field, I took off my glasses, wiped my face and continued jogging step by step, singing praises and praying! Now, some people might think I was nuts whispering gibberish (tongues) and panting all the way but God sustained my all the way through and I managed to finish my 12 rounds. Even with a dismal timing of 15mins and 13 seconds (My passing time is 13 min 50 sec I think… not sure) at least I finished! Some people who were also weak physically like me did not finish the whole thing and gave up halfway… but I finished it!
Just realized I can’t spell tongues, I always spelt it as tounges…thanks to Word’s auto spell check, I have learnt from my mistake… Everyone makes mistakes sometime or another. Time to rant about... 4E again! The spars continue daily… but why use our classroom?? I’m thinking of charging admission fees for all who enter as spectators from tomorrow onwards… the 4E class fund looks horribly low and in dangerous levels, if they want to watch a show… might as well make them pay for it. But this would be considered “ill-gotten” goods… I assume.
Got into a spat with some of my friends, they just can’t understand that it is really tough to please everyone. To that person, their idea will always sound the best and most logical even though all bystanders can see loopholes big enough to let elephants through. Such a simple thing, what a drastic ending. Did it have to close this way; I hope this does not leave a dent on our friendship.
Found the full translated lyrics for “Life is Like a Boat” (translations below romanji) Its is really REALLY long so hope you don’t mind ^_^
Life is Like a Boat – Rie Fu
Nobody knows who I really am;
I've never felt this empty before.
And if I ever need someone to come along,
who’s gonna comfort me and keep me strong?
We are all rowing the boat of fate
the waves keep on coming and we can't escape
but if we ever get lost on our way
the waves will guide you through another day
Tooku de iki o shiteru [I've been going far away]
toumei ni natta mitai [And I seem to have become invisible.]
Kurayami ni omoi dakedo [My feelings head towards darkness, but]
mekakushi sareteta dake [It is only a mask.]
Inori wo sasagete [So offer a prayer]
atarashii hi wo matsu [As you wait for a new day.]
Azayaka ni hikaru umi [Up until the brilliant blue sea]
sono hate made [Dries up.]
Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you will follow me and keep me strong
Hito no kokoro wa utsuri yuku [People's hearts are disappearing]
nukedashitaku naru [Their hearts are slipping away]
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki [But each new phase of the moon still]
de mune wo sureteku [Shines upon my heart.]
And every time I see your face
The oceans lead out to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars
And soon I can't see the shore
Oh, I can't see the shore...
When will I see the shore?
I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I feel this way toward you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you and keep you strong
Tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku [I am still continuing my journey]
odayaka na hi mo [Even on the calm days.]
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki [Each new phase of the moon still]
de mune wo terashidasu [Shines upon my heart.]
Inori wo sasagete [So offer a prayer]
atarashii hi wo matsu [As you wait for a new day.]
Azayaka ni hikaru umi [Up until the brilliant blue sea]
sono hate made [Dries up.]
And everytime I see your face
The oceans lead out to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars
And soon I can't see the shore
Unmei no fune wo kogi [We are riding the boat of fate]
nami wa tsugi kara tsuki e to [From now on, the waves head for the moon.]
Watashi-tachi wo sou kedo [Exactly like us, but]
sore mo suteki na tabi ne [That is a wonderful journey as well...]
Dore mo suteki na tabi ne... [Any journey is a wonderful one...]
- - - - - - - - - -
Woah, that’s really long isn’t it? ^_^ But it’s a nice song… sounds a little sad though, but at least is it not depressing and suicidal like “Komm Süsser Tod”… a song I like but… Id post the lyrics some other time… that song is REALLY depressing and has suicidal messages… so hopeless… makes you feel… hopeless, and lets not forget that the title “Komm Süsser Tod” is not in English, translated it reads “Come Sweet Death” O.o Don’t ask me, Evangelion is a complicated series… That song if from the End of Evangelion OVA for your info… since I’m so free for comparison’s sake I’ll just post the lyrics for “Komm Süsser Tod” here now… “enjoy” *shudder*
Komm Süsser Tod, Come Sweet Death – End of Evangelion
I know, I know I've let you down
I've been a fool to myself
I thought I could
live for no one else
But now through all the hurt and pain
Its time for me to respect
the ones you love
mean more than anything
So with sadness in my heart
I feel the best thing I could do
is end it all
and leave forever
whats done is done, it feels so bad
what once was happy now is sad
I'll never love again
my world is ending
I wish that I could turn back time
cos now the guilt is all mine
cant live without the trust from the ones you love.
I know we can't forget the past
you cant forget love and pride
because of that its killing me inside
It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down,
it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down.
In my heart of hearts,
I know that I can never love again
I've lost everything
everything
that matters to me,
matter in this world
I wish that I could turn back time
cos now all the guilt is mine
cant live without
the trust from those you love
I know we can't forget the past
you can't forget love and pride
because of that, its killing me inside
It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down
it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down
It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down
it all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down…
- - - - - - - - - -
Chilling isn’t it? But you have to listen to it yourself to understand… its rather nice if you disregard the disturbing message. And for those who have watched EOE (End of Evangelion) you’d have to agree that this song fits the scene very well.
That’s all… phew. This post is very long hahaz, can’t be bothered to count even with word-checker on Word. Bb!
Quote of the Post:
It all returns to nothing…
[Ps. I changed the post date when posting so yea... ^_^]
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
Trying times my friend, Trying times
Recently the biggest hype was all about the release of the positng results. All of a sudden, people all over the island are rushing everywhere to appeal and find any ways and means to stay out of the clutches of shame and misery (so called...) O level resutls this year are far from satisfactory, Im sure you know a few school even had to lower their Cut off Points specially.
After all, what are we studying so hard for? Have you asked yourself. What are you doing in school? Why do you study? Some reply, to get a good job in future and ensure we do not starve to death. Some say, because that is the only way to live a comfortable, or at least fufilling life. But what good is all that in the end? Then again.. what is the end? Due to the sensitive nature of this topic I suggest you sms, call or even e-mail me on this issue kae?
School re-opens after a nice long weekend. So its time for... COMPLAINTS!! The school is forcing everyone to take part in the Australian Science Competition once again, for a cool 7 bux, *Yowch!* I can already feel that hole in my pocket T_T O levels are coming! They are RUNNING!! So soon!! About 2 months, TWO MONTHS!! Oh My... Time... time!! And understanding... a touch of memory wouldnt hurt... I'll need everything I have to pull at least a C5 or something for Chinese.
I can feel the panic slipping in... bit by bit, slowly but surely. Why am I so superficialtoday? Maybe because my mind is on vacation after realising the little amount of time i have left until the big Os. What a horrible time to be away... leaving me... brainless for the moment. What am I blogging about, I really dont know. Easter Sunday just over yesterday, service was awesome and I managed to get Shan An to come along ^_^
Even though nothing has happened, circumstances have changed a little, and we got abit deeper to the root of the problem. I really hope Poh Leng and cell can take it easy, judging from out conversation today, he has yet to make his confession. I cant do anything but watch... and even though I wont say it outright... pray. Not just for this stiuation, but for all the people taking Os and whatever exams, for everyone who has been posted to a new schooling environment, for all the people who are feeling stressed for one reason or another and for everyone who have yet to recieve God, this are the end-times, the signs are becoming more and more evident.
Oh yes, I finally managed to grab a piccy ^^ Enjoy :P
My Zen Micro, the First Proper Picture =P
Ahh.. this tiny marvel never fails to amaze me ^_^ Im running out of space, how incredible is that? But I did put alot of rubbish inside that I never meant to listen to. HeeHee I absolutely adore eclairs (looks at explanding waistline) But I have to control... Setting up a daily time plan of sorts and sigh... as a last resort, I have to add in... *gasp, shudder* EXCERCISE!! Awww... but its for my own good. Now, just cut the gut and now for the face... Extreme makeover anyone?
Ultimate realisation of the day - I eat too much. Yesh, so lets work towards a simple goal shall we? Bring less money, save the rest, eat less, excercise more. Then I can 1) lose weight 2) and save myself a tidy sum of money to umm.... persue other more worthy interests :) Heehee, dont try... and dont worry its all legit this time.. all clean. Nothing more to add at this point, trying out my new Hello! thing which I just used to slap a picture on this post... so yea. TTyL
Quote of the Post:
Wealth can Melt, Fame can turn to Shame, Pleasure is Unsure, Power is not Forever, but Friends who Remember each other will always Stay Together!
After all, what are we studying so hard for? Have you asked yourself. What are you doing in school? Why do you study? Some reply, to get a good job in future and ensure we do not starve to death. Some say, because that is the only way to live a comfortable, or at least fufilling life. But what good is all that in the end? Then again.. what is the end? Due to the sensitive nature of this topic I suggest you sms, call or even e-mail me on this issue kae?
School re-opens after a nice long weekend. So its time for... COMPLAINTS!! The school is forcing everyone to take part in the Australian Science Competition once again, for a cool 7 bux, *Yowch!* I can already feel that hole in my pocket T_T O levels are coming! They are RUNNING!! So soon!! About 2 months, TWO MONTHS!! Oh My... Time... time!! And understanding... a touch of memory wouldnt hurt... I'll need everything I have to pull at least a C5 or something for Chinese.
I can feel the panic slipping in... bit by bit, slowly but surely. Why am I so superficialtoday? Maybe because my mind is on vacation after realising the little amount of time i have left until the big Os. What a horrible time to be away... leaving me... brainless for the moment. What am I blogging about, I really dont know. Easter Sunday just over yesterday, service was awesome and I managed to get Shan An to come along ^_^
Even though nothing has happened, circumstances have changed a little, and we got abit deeper to the root of the problem. I really hope Poh Leng and cell can take it easy, judging from out conversation today, he has yet to make his confession. I cant do anything but watch... and even though I wont say it outright... pray. Not just for this stiuation, but for all the people taking Os and whatever exams, for everyone who has been posted to a new schooling environment, for all the people who are feeling stressed for one reason or another and for everyone who have yet to recieve God, this are the end-times, the signs are becoming more and more evident.
Oh yes, I finally managed to grab a piccy ^^ Enjoy :P
My Zen Micro, the First Proper Picture =P
Ahh.. this tiny marvel never fails to amaze me ^_^ Im running out of space, how incredible is that? But I did put alot of rubbish inside that I never meant to listen to. HeeHee I absolutely adore eclairs (looks at explanding waistline) But I have to control... Setting up a daily time plan of sorts and sigh... as a last resort, I have to add in... *gasp, shudder* EXCERCISE!! Awww... but its for my own good. Now, just cut the gut and now for the face... Extreme makeover anyone?
Ultimate realisation of the day - I eat too much. Yesh, so lets work towards a simple goal shall we? Bring less money, save the rest, eat less, excercise more. Then I can 1) lose weight 2) and save myself a tidy sum of money to umm.... persue other more worthy interests :) Heehee, dont try... and dont worry its all legit this time.. all clean. Nothing more to add at this point, trying out my new Hello! thing which I just used to slap a picture on this post... so yea. TTyL
Quote of the Post:
Wealth can Melt, Fame can turn to Shame, Pleasure is Unsure, Power is not Forever, but Friends who Remember each other will always Stay Together!
Saturday, March 26, 2005
I want you to know who i really am
Heyz, went for service bright and early this morning, but all e HG2 peeps are sitting with their parents, what to do? Met Qian Xiang, and ended up acompanying him until Joel and Dilys decided to turn up, majority of HG2 sat together in the end! Hahaz, but Paula and Jean were uncontactable... I told Anna, she looks good in White :P So does Paula in her new suit. ^_^
After that, went to Warren for lunch.. if not for the compulsory spending there each quarter, I wouldnt even go... But you must agree its a nice place kaes. I want my junior membership card. If not for the distance I dont mind going there regularly just to study or slack, maybe play bowling or take a warm bath.
Went with Shan An to Evangeline's church for performance... wahh.. they still sing hymns. Im in no position to criticize but it was a little... testing. The entire thing was just a big performanmce about the life of Christ but there was no call or move to convert or do anything of the sort. Makes you kind of wonder why they hold such events. Thier church does not believe in Healings, speaking in tounges and such. I had to counter with the Bible... this is going to get outta hand soon *ulp*
I made this up just now... Tounges = Talking Only U n God Everything Sacred. Makes abit of sense hahaz, you could tell im really bored. Now at Shan An's home, staying the night as the performance ended kind of late. Learnt and spilled a few things... God truly is pulling and tugging every string for that guy. I can only pray for the best, there is no credit to claim, all glory is to the Lord, we are all only doing His work.
Outpost outing tomorrow ^_^ Take the day off and R-E-L-A-X we all need to unwind sometimes. Just have fun ya know? Being Senior Guide is kind of fun. Next stop, Bronze Medal (Even though I dont know the requirement... sounds far easier than the Gold Medal of Achievement) hands aching, "played" with a big heavy punching/sand bag just now.
Humans, need/want to see proof and solid evidence before they are convinced and have faith. But isnt faith "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we DO NOT SEE" (Hebrews 11:1 NIV) Faith should come first, then only will we have the chance to see things happen to strengthen our faith. Not the other way around. If you do not believe in the first place how are you to see great things like miracles happening? Human understanding is finite as are our thoughts, God however is infinite and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.
Still unresolved on the night study issue. Cecelia talked to my parents today but Im not sure what the content consisted of as I was not allowed to listen in -_- how convienient. But whatever the outcome I am convinced that God has a special plan for me to do great things. I cant do much alone but "Greater is He that is in you then He who is in the world." (1st John 4:4) Hmm... but Ive yet to tap into that potential... I want to do great things, but yet the closer I get the further away it seems. Yea, everything always looks clam on the surface.
I have yet to watch a single episode of Bleach! but im loving it already. Thanks to it's OP and ED songs. Asterisk (*) by Orange Range, the same people who brought you Viva Rock the 3rd Naruto ending theme and the ED song, Life is like a Boat, by Rie Fu. Asterisk has no lyrics or translations now but I just like the beat but Life is like a Boat is really nice... absolutely smitten.
Nobody knows who I really am,
I've never felt this empty before.
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong?
We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves will guide you through another day
Just the first two stanzas, the rest is mostly in Japanese so until I find a translation it wont be up, buts all in all it's a great song. Asterisk is a nice song just that it is too fast to follow for most part...
Wah!! 2am now, tired... guess I will do my speeches tomorrow... signing off, sayonara!
Quote of the Post:
I want you to know who I really am,
I never thought I feel this way toward you.
And if you ever need someone to come along,
I will follow you and keep you strong.
[Life is like a Boat - Rie Fu, Bleach 1st ED]
After that, went to Warren for lunch.. if not for the compulsory spending there each quarter, I wouldnt even go... But you must agree its a nice place kaes. I want my junior membership card. If not for the distance I dont mind going there regularly just to study or slack, maybe play bowling or take a warm bath.
Went with Shan An to Evangeline's church for performance... wahh.. they still sing hymns. Im in no position to criticize but it was a little... testing. The entire thing was just a big performanmce about the life of Christ but there was no call or move to convert or do anything of the sort. Makes you kind of wonder why they hold such events. Thier church does not believe in Healings, speaking in tounges and such. I had to counter with the Bible... this is going to get outta hand soon *ulp*
I made this up just now... Tounges = Talking Only U n God Everything Sacred. Makes abit of sense hahaz, you could tell im really bored. Now at Shan An's home, staying the night as the performance ended kind of late. Learnt and spilled a few things... God truly is pulling and tugging every string for that guy. I can only pray for the best, there is no credit to claim, all glory is to the Lord, we are all only doing His work.
Outpost outing tomorrow ^_^ Take the day off and R-E-L-A-X we all need to unwind sometimes. Just have fun ya know? Being Senior Guide is kind of fun. Next stop, Bronze Medal (Even though I dont know the requirement... sounds far easier than the Gold Medal of Achievement) hands aching, "played" with a big heavy punching/sand bag just now.
Humans, need/want to see proof and solid evidence before they are convinced and have faith. But isnt faith "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we DO NOT SEE" (Hebrews 11:1 NIV) Faith should come first, then only will we have the chance to see things happen to strengthen our faith. Not the other way around. If you do not believe in the first place how are you to see great things like miracles happening? Human understanding is finite as are our thoughts, God however is infinite and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.
Still unresolved on the night study issue. Cecelia talked to my parents today but Im not sure what the content consisted of as I was not allowed to listen in -_- how convienient. But whatever the outcome I am convinced that God has a special plan for me to do great things. I cant do much alone but "Greater is He that is in you then He who is in the world." (1st John 4:4) Hmm... but Ive yet to tap into that potential... I want to do great things, but yet the closer I get the further away it seems. Yea, everything always looks clam on the surface.
I have yet to watch a single episode of Bleach! but im loving it already. Thanks to it's OP and ED songs. Asterisk (*) by Orange Range, the same people who brought you Viva Rock the 3rd Naruto ending theme and the ED song, Life is like a Boat, by Rie Fu. Asterisk has no lyrics or translations now but I just like the beat but Life is like a Boat is really nice... absolutely smitten.
Nobody knows who I really am,
I've never felt this empty before.
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong?
We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves will guide you through another day
Just the first two stanzas, the rest is mostly in Japanese so until I find a translation it wont be up, buts all in all it's a great song. Asterisk is a nice song just that it is too fast to follow for most part...
Wah!! 2am now, tired... guess I will do my speeches tomorrow... signing off, sayonara!
Quote of the Post:
I want you to know who I really am,
I never thought I feel this way toward you.
And if you ever need someone to come along,
I will follow you and keep you strong.
[Life is like a Boat - Rie Fu, Bleach 1st ED]
Thursday, March 24, 2005
WAHH!!
Blogger just thew my latest piece of work out the window again. This goes on anymore Im so going to type it on notepad the n copy and paste here just to ensure it does not vanish.. my hours of work! (Even though I only actually typed for about one hour...but that is still alot!)
I wont repost everything... Ok then. Even though the class does not like our chinese teacher. You cant just boycott her like that! Cant you see Chinese Os are in only 2 months time... we have yet to cover syllabus, and that is only on the academic side for that I wont say more. Plus you never gave her a chance. Plus [ristricted!] as a previous Literature student, a girl AND a human, you should at least try to understand her feelings! How could you say something so.. spiteful like "Good, in only two more months then I wont have anything to do with her again" She is your teacher damnnit! And you are her pupil! Know you place!! That goes to the rest of the class too... now that you've dragged the Brass of PCSS into this stupid game of yours you complain. Who started it??
Who wont I say this in class? Cos I cant, cos im scared. of the other 25 of you. Just as afraid as any new teacher up there against the 26 of us, out of the 26 people majority who have such cold glaring looks in their eyes which silent say 'What the hell can you do to us". This is defiance, this rebelliousness. So, as teens you all become non-conformists eh? But you are CONFORMING TO THE WAYS SET BY YOUR PEERS!! Cant you see? You stupid self absorbed people! You rebel against your parents and teachers but still seek to follow your friends, you are no different from before and in fact much worse as your friends too do not know what they are doing! Why do you fight? To win, to gain the "respect" and popularity. For SECURITY, what [insert own expletive] security is there is being the strongest "fighter" in class or what-not.
You live for now but now wont last forever! Time will flow, things will move on! It is already sec4 have you ever thought about the future? However idealistic you are, want to be a hair-cutter or a basketball player or whatever. You face does not matter, that piece of paper called "Qualifications" after you have that paper then comes the person.
*Breather - slow heart rate*
Redoing playlists... seems to calm me down abit. Therupathic? Doubt it :P Finally worring that there isnt enough space, currently only 1.7gig left and Im not done yet! this is only all my mp3 format songs not including all those mpeg, mpg and wma format ones... hmm.. I DO have too many songs hahaha. But I really wanted to cry when I accidentally deleted my Kazaa shared folder. not just about 1/2 my songs but also all my Videos and Episodes T_T Aiya that was all in the past dont rake it up.
Good Friday tomorrow~! Happy Happy, but abit sad though. but In the end THAT was Jesus's Victory! THAT was what allowed us to have this shot at enternal life and freedom, will you accept it? I urge you, if you wont go tomorrow, then go on Sunday, EASTER! The true celebration of His victory over the devil and death forever.
Witnessing is hard when the other person is a real skeptic. One person even claimed that if i continue they will ask their "god" to turn me to stone. Well I asked her to just try it, she was really intent on it saying I will turn to stone on Vesak day or something, so I said I will go to her home on Esak day to prove that I am not stone or something silly. but I felt so fired at that point I wanted to really ask her to try it and see if her statue of stone wood and paint can really turn me to stone, but that would be kind of insensitive... and it isnt good to tell people thier "god" is just a statue, they will automatically switch off and go defensive thinking you are attacking thier religion. but really, you do not go to hell because of your religion as all religions aim to do good but you go to hell because of your sin and Disbelief in Christ is SIN. Then she accused my religion of "condemnning" all non-christians to hell to which I replied Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God... there she stopped and admitted defeat haha.. but this wont convince her -_- Guess we all need the Holy Spirit's help.
Feeling elated. Someone said that "I feel to motivated you never fail to say Hi to me online" So glad someone appreciates my effort ^_^ heehee I feel loads happier, thankyew Anna-chan!! Im outta ideas...I had a ton but lost them.. so for now.. sayonara!
Quote of e Post:
I wont allow you to have your way! You have to go past me first!
I wont repost everything... Ok then. Even though the class does not like our chinese teacher. You cant just boycott her like that! Cant you see Chinese Os are in only 2 months time... we have yet to cover syllabus, and that is only on the academic side for that I wont say more. Plus you never gave her a chance. Plus [ristricted!] as a previous Literature student, a girl AND a human, you should at least try to understand her feelings! How could you say something so.. spiteful like "Good, in only two more months then I wont have anything to do with her again" She is your teacher damnnit! And you are her pupil! Know you place!! That goes to the rest of the class too... now that you've dragged the Brass of PCSS into this stupid game of yours you complain. Who started it??
Who wont I say this in class? Cos I cant, cos im scared. of the other 25 of you. Just as afraid as any new teacher up there against the 26 of us, out of the 26 people majority who have such cold glaring looks in their eyes which silent say 'What the hell can you do to us". This is defiance, this rebelliousness. So, as teens you all become non-conformists eh? But you are CONFORMING TO THE WAYS SET BY YOUR PEERS!! Cant you see? You stupid self absorbed people! You rebel against your parents and teachers but still seek to follow your friends, you are no different from before and in fact much worse as your friends too do not know what they are doing! Why do you fight? To win, to gain the "respect" and popularity. For SECURITY, what [insert own expletive] security is there is being the strongest "fighter" in class or what-not.
You live for now but now wont last forever! Time will flow, things will move on! It is already sec4 have you ever thought about the future? However idealistic you are, want to be a hair-cutter or a basketball player or whatever. You face does not matter, that piece of paper called "Qualifications" after you have that paper then comes the person.
*Breather - slow heart rate*
Redoing playlists... seems to calm me down abit. Therupathic? Doubt it :P Finally worring that there isnt enough space, currently only 1.7gig left and Im not done yet! this is only all my mp3 format songs not including all those mpeg, mpg and wma format ones... hmm.. I DO have too many songs hahaha. But I really wanted to cry when I accidentally deleted my Kazaa shared folder. not just about 1/2 my songs but also all my Videos and Episodes T_T Aiya that was all in the past dont rake it up.
Good Friday tomorrow~! Happy Happy, but abit sad though. but In the end THAT was Jesus's Victory! THAT was what allowed us to have this shot at enternal life and freedom, will you accept it? I urge you, if you wont go tomorrow, then go on Sunday, EASTER! The true celebration of His victory over the devil and death forever.
Witnessing is hard when the other person is a real skeptic. One person even claimed that if i continue they will ask their "god" to turn me to stone. Well I asked her to just try it, she was really intent on it saying I will turn to stone on Vesak day or something, so I said I will go to her home on Esak day to prove that I am not stone or something silly. but I felt so fired at that point I wanted to really ask her to try it and see if her statue of stone wood and paint can really turn me to stone, but that would be kind of insensitive... and it isnt good to tell people thier "god" is just a statue, they will automatically switch off and go defensive thinking you are attacking thier religion. but really, you do not go to hell because of your religion as all religions aim to do good but you go to hell because of your sin and Disbelief in Christ is SIN. Then she accused my religion of "condemnning" all non-christians to hell to which I replied Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God... there she stopped and admitted defeat haha.. but this wont convince her -_- Guess we all need the Holy Spirit's help.
Feeling elated. Someone said that "I feel to motivated you never fail to say Hi to me online" So glad someone appreciates my effort ^_^ heehee I feel loads happier, thankyew Anna-chan!! Im outta ideas...I had a ton but lost them.. so for now.. sayonara!
Quote of e Post:
I wont allow you to have your way! You have to go past me first!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Pondering
Once again, I have found myself back at this blogger posting page. Adn I wonder to myself. Why do I keep writing, when no one reads? Today brought back too many memories and I find myself feeling a tinge of sadness as I realise not for the first time that time lost can never be regained. People gone by will never be found. Aiya, going down the sad end again... Piang, why can't I just take things easy even though I take everything lightly??
Oh yea! In addition to the change in Timetable, D&T is now on every MONDAY instead of Thursday ^_^ Meaning I have the week end to rush things, BUT it also means that it iwll add on to my monday blues... CME is the slackiest subject in the entire week. I will forever treasure that one hour per week with no studying, no cramming, no constant exam reminders, no revision, no tests and no stress.
Hmm more crap to think up for D&T, more and more each week. Getting kind of sick of it ya know? Darn, my blog is becomeing a small rant... like some teenagers diary, without the mushy stuff and the vibrant colors that is. Ah yes, I think I want to re-do my layout but I just cant find the time. Im Blogging on Autopilot now kaes, so dont mind if it makes little sense. I lurve my Zen Micro heehee, that blue light is sooooo attractive :P Argh why is it taking so long to charge, kick me for leaving it on the whole night as I slept.. a 12 hours battery life wont live long if i left it running for like 6 hours while I slept, plus it was on since like almost 10:15pm, please quickly charge!
Sparring in class? I really dont know, but if anyone of you want to fight me one thing im sure of is that I wont fight. You can hit me if you want but I will not fight back, meaning, NO I dont want to spar you. Im not that weak to fall for the "Dont Dare" or the "Scared say so" tactic. That isnt weakness, that is strength, strength to be slow to anger and keep calm, strength you do not have. Whats the point of getting yourself beat up? Insane, illogical people.
If that is the way "guys communicate on the deepest level". Then I rather not be a guy. Listening to an unkwon song on someone's blog, ah.. blog hopping brings you places ^_^ I want to find it... *looks about* but what's the title?? Dont know why but this sudden image came to mind, from where I dont know but it looks kind of nice. A mirror, shattered but still in one piece, by a bullet hole in the centre. So it is like cracked and smashed in the middle but not one of the pieces have fallen. Broken glass, clear translucent and clean looking, yet sharp and dangerous. Hmm, told you im on auto-pilot :D
Still undecided on the current Drama in my life. School holds night classes on Friday night, My cell is on Friday night. They clash. I love going to cell, it beats being stuck with my class for another 3 hours of unproductive rubbish like every other day in school. My dad wont sign my form because I put a NO in it. Well, whatever happened to "Putting God first" and "Other things will be added unto you?" When man has no answer, I guess it's time to take the High-Way. Going Up.
I suddenly realise how much I'd miss my cell if I had to change cell group or anything like that, and if I change cell group, I might even have to change zone. No way, this cant be true... Im not changing zone. Cecelia, Paula, Joel, Jean, Dilys, Alfred, Qian Xiang, Daryl, Meryl, Caleb, Joshua, Jovin, Uriah, Ezra, Stephanie, Hannah, Xue Yan, Kendrick and everyone else from Zone 3a (too many... I cant list all plus I dont know some of you really well =x) these are the people I know the best, they have shared many things, memories, experiences and everything. They were with me, through it all, from being on the CC committee, to finding God again after all those years at the camp, to water baptism, to being part of the recent zone outreach committee, and every other thing we've been through together. I want to say, Thank You. *sobs* Real men dont cry dammnit, real men dont cry...
Quote of the Post:
Better by far you should forget and smile than that you remember and be sad.
Oh yea! In addition to the change in Timetable, D&T is now on every MONDAY instead of Thursday ^_^ Meaning I have the week end to rush things, BUT it also means that it iwll add on to my monday blues... CME is the slackiest subject in the entire week. I will forever treasure that one hour per week with no studying, no cramming, no constant exam reminders, no revision, no tests and no stress.
Hmm more crap to think up for D&T, more and more each week. Getting kind of sick of it ya know? Darn, my blog is becomeing a small rant... like some teenagers diary, without the mushy stuff and the vibrant colors that is. Ah yes, I think I want to re-do my layout but I just cant find the time. Im Blogging on Autopilot now kaes, so dont mind if it makes little sense. I lurve my Zen Micro heehee, that blue light is sooooo attractive :P Argh why is it taking so long to charge, kick me for leaving it on the whole night as I slept.. a 12 hours battery life wont live long if i left it running for like 6 hours while I slept, plus it was on since like almost 10:15pm, please quickly charge!
Sparring in class? I really dont know, but if anyone of you want to fight me one thing im sure of is that I wont fight. You can hit me if you want but I will not fight back, meaning, NO I dont want to spar you. Im not that weak to fall for the "Dont Dare" or the "Scared say so" tactic. That isnt weakness, that is strength, strength to be slow to anger and keep calm, strength you do not have. Whats the point of getting yourself beat up? Insane, illogical people.
If that is the way "guys communicate on the deepest level". Then I rather not be a guy. Listening to an unkwon song on someone's blog, ah.. blog hopping brings you places ^_^ I want to find it... *looks about* but what's the title?? Dont know why but this sudden image came to mind, from where I dont know but it looks kind of nice. A mirror, shattered but still in one piece, by a bullet hole in the centre. So it is like cracked and smashed in the middle but not one of the pieces have fallen. Broken glass, clear translucent and clean looking, yet sharp and dangerous. Hmm, told you im on auto-pilot :D
Still undecided on the current Drama in my life. School holds night classes on Friday night, My cell is on Friday night. They clash. I love going to cell, it beats being stuck with my class for another 3 hours of unproductive rubbish like every other day in school. My dad wont sign my form because I put a NO in it. Well, whatever happened to "Putting God first" and "Other things will be added unto you?" When man has no answer, I guess it's time to take the High-Way. Going Up.
I suddenly realise how much I'd miss my cell if I had to change cell group or anything like that, and if I change cell group, I might even have to change zone. No way, this cant be true... Im not changing zone. Cecelia, Paula, Joel, Jean, Dilys, Alfred, Qian Xiang, Daryl, Meryl, Caleb, Joshua, Jovin, Uriah, Ezra, Stephanie, Hannah, Xue Yan, Kendrick and everyone else from Zone 3a (too many... I cant list all plus I dont know some of you really well =x) these are the people I know the best, they have shared many things, memories, experiences and everything. They were with me, through it all, from being on the CC committee, to finding God again after all those years at the camp, to water baptism, to being part of the recent zone outreach committee, and every other thing we've been through together. I want to say, Thank You. *sobs* Real men dont cry dammnit, real men dont cry...
Quote of the Post:
Better by far you should forget and smile than that you remember and be sad.
Monday, March 21, 2005
I Remember
Ah yes, Very sadly I remembered what I want to blog about yesterday. Continuing from just now. Young people. On Sunday evening I went for a haircut at Heartland Mall, while waiting (There was a ton of people) There was this two girls behind me talking (really loudly actually... kinda embarassing too if you were there to hear what they were talking about) Young people this day have no shame, their values are all messed up and i think years of education are really being wasted on some of them!
First, a notice reads "Come in a group of 3 and cut for the price of 2" those two girls actually began trying to find someone to cut with them as they thought it would only cost them $2 each. Im like -_-u can't they read? Price of two, without the "$" means for the price of TWO PEOPLE, which is $20. Until a guy they approached told them, they were clueless, everyone had a fit of silent laughter, I was waiting ^_^
Then, private issues should be kept, private. No one in the queue nor the barber needed to know those two were "Crooked". Or thier sordid exploits, or thier personal preferances. Ehh, just remembering it makes my hair stand on it's end and moves a shiver down my spine, places a pit in my stomch and disgusts me. *bleagh* It's filthy I tell you. Even the barber went to tell them to keep thier volume down...
Wah!! School gave us a nice dose of "Chinese Enrichment". An hour in the hall, packed with ever chinese pupil from sec 1 to 5 after school to learn "creative poem writing". Well, thanks but for your information, O level does not include Poem Writing and keeping us back another hour after school ends including lining up and all is until 5pm!! Keep us back for a little "talk after a big event" and it's almost 5:30pm... What a surefire way to kill life ^_^
Oh yea! The school re-scheduled our timetables, USSR is back in the mornings, and Now upper sec and lower sec lunch is together at the same time without making the upper sec wait an extra 10 mins. Meaning, longer queues, same time, and less space. I wonder what made them seperate it in the first place? Hmmm... (Duh, common sense!)
Disrespectful, coarse and violent. That is the typical Peicaian, or so Mr Paul says. Is it true? Judging from what I see so far, yes. But what about the ones we dont see? Because they are good they are rarely in the spotlight, so the "goodness" of the school is not see, only the often focused on brash, loud and aggressive bunch. What a horrible image, but sadly that is what majority of the pupils here are. I do not despise anyone for beign weak or slow, because I myself am weak in certain areas. But What I cannot let off are htose who "kill" themselves without trying. "Im in Peicai, so I suck and am probably going to fail so I might as well not try." Rubbish, you have only truly failed when you fail to try.
When asked as a class, and the general answer is a lie. If I keep silent, did I lie too? Now I understand what Jon meant when he says some things in this world aren't totally black and white. Thats why I need to brush up more, get my walk right, live according to the word, then I can truly find the right path. So far so good, really, once you let off one day, you tend to let another day slip and before you know it, you've totally fallen behind.
Time is flying now, the first few months were just for gathering speed. Now in one week, it will be April. The chinese O level written paper is on the 30th of May. That is only 62 (give and take 2 days due to mental calculation and estimation) days left. And with the state my chinese is in, I'll be glad not to pull a E8, this year's syllabus isnt even covered yet. Dammnit, I dont want to go down with these people!
I hate them, I really hate them. How to love people who have everything against you just because you are you? There is nothing in me to change them, nothing I can do. But only God can, sometimes I wonder if this was too much for me to handle, would God give it to me? I dont know anymore, are these people even worth saving? The fires in hell need fuel to burn on im sure.. *bitterly* and by saying that I have just secured myself a place with them. Thanks...
Life is like a cycle. Of things going bad, getting worse, me trying to get it right, failing to, then going back to the basics, get things alright and then things go bad and the whole cycle goes again. Im sick, im really sick and tired, I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. Where is the line between life and dreams? Are any of this for real? What matters now if I already know the end?
No answers echo from the walls. I feel such a hypocrite. I share and try to witness to people when I am not right myself. I have all the theory and the knowledge, but I cant fool myself. That does not matter, I know too much, I hate that about myself. Why cant I forget what I know, not think so much? If that is what it takes, I dont mind being an idiot just to get right with God and living happily till I return home again, as an idiot. Ignorance is bliss.
I can see, one by one, little by little, the big picture, Im so small in it. I try my best to hide, but everyone knows more than they are telling. They know about me, about the things I never share, the things I've done that will make people gasp in surprise and go "Huh? Him!?". I can see it in your eyes. In all your eyes, yes, you do accept me, but being human there is this nature in you that you cannot suppress, that tells you to look down on others. Compassion and empathy can only cover so much.
Is my life one big conspiracy theory with a huge hidden agenda? It feels that way, anything that can go wrong will go wrong when I begin planning on my own. But once I do things with OTHERS involved, then only will the plans work out. Is it because having somone else involved makes it more difficult to distrupt so as to not implicate any other outside parties? Yea, its confirmed I AM PSYCHOTIC. Ive been to see a shrink a few times before, I dont know how many, my memory plays tricks on me. The things I remember, are any of those for real? Occasionally I get scraps of memories that seem to vibrant yet unrealistic, and I doubt my mind.
Agh, this is getting deep and time consuming. I'll blog again some other time then, ciao.
Quote of the post:
Dont spend all your luck getting what you want, you might need some luck to keep it.
First, a notice reads "Come in a group of 3 and cut for the price of 2" those two girls actually began trying to find someone to cut with them as they thought it would only cost them $2 each. Im like -_-u can't they read? Price of two, without the "$" means for the price of TWO PEOPLE, which is $20. Until a guy they approached told them, they were clueless, everyone had a fit of silent laughter, I was waiting ^_^
Then, private issues should be kept, private. No one in the queue nor the barber needed to know those two were "Crooked". Or thier sordid exploits, or thier personal preferances. Ehh, just remembering it makes my hair stand on it's end and moves a shiver down my spine, places a pit in my stomch and disgusts me. *bleagh* It's filthy I tell you. Even the barber went to tell them to keep thier volume down...
Wah!! School gave us a nice dose of "Chinese Enrichment". An hour in the hall, packed with ever chinese pupil from sec 1 to 5 after school to learn "creative poem writing". Well, thanks but for your information, O level does not include Poem Writing and keeping us back another hour after school ends including lining up and all is until 5pm!! Keep us back for a little "talk after a big event" and it's almost 5:30pm... What a surefire way to kill life ^_^
Oh yea! The school re-scheduled our timetables, USSR is back in the mornings, and Now upper sec and lower sec lunch is together at the same time without making the upper sec wait an extra 10 mins. Meaning, longer queues, same time, and less space. I wonder what made them seperate it in the first place? Hmmm... (Duh, common sense!)
Disrespectful, coarse and violent. That is the typical Peicaian, or so Mr Paul says. Is it true? Judging from what I see so far, yes. But what about the ones we dont see? Because they are good they are rarely in the spotlight, so the "goodness" of the school is not see, only the often focused on brash, loud and aggressive bunch. What a horrible image, but sadly that is what majority of the pupils here are. I do not despise anyone for beign weak or slow, because I myself am weak in certain areas. But What I cannot let off are htose who "kill" themselves without trying. "Im in Peicai, so I suck and am probably going to fail so I might as well not try." Rubbish, you have only truly failed when you fail to try.
When asked as a class, and the general answer is a lie. If I keep silent, did I lie too? Now I understand what Jon meant when he says some things in this world aren't totally black and white. Thats why I need to brush up more, get my walk right, live according to the word, then I can truly find the right path. So far so good, really, once you let off one day, you tend to let another day slip and before you know it, you've totally fallen behind.
Time is flying now, the first few months were just for gathering speed. Now in one week, it will be April. The chinese O level written paper is on the 30th of May. That is only 62 (give and take 2 days due to mental calculation and estimation) days left. And with the state my chinese is in, I'll be glad not to pull a E8, this year's syllabus isnt even covered yet. Dammnit, I dont want to go down with these people!
I hate them, I really hate them. How to love people who have everything against you just because you are you? There is nothing in me to change them, nothing I can do. But only God can, sometimes I wonder if this was too much for me to handle, would God give it to me? I dont know anymore, are these people even worth saving? The fires in hell need fuel to burn on im sure.. *bitterly* and by saying that I have just secured myself a place with them. Thanks...
Life is like a cycle. Of things going bad, getting worse, me trying to get it right, failing to, then going back to the basics, get things alright and then things go bad and the whole cycle goes again. Im sick, im really sick and tired, I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. Where is the line between life and dreams? Are any of this for real? What matters now if I already know the end?
No answers echo from the walls. I feel such a hypocrite. I share and try to witness to people when I am not right myself. I have all the theory and the knowledge, but I cant fool myself. That does not matter, I know too much, I hate that about myself. Why cant I forget what I know, not think so much? If that is what it takes, I dont mind being an idiot just to get right with God and living happily till I return home again, as an idiot. Ignorance is bliss.
I can see, one by one, little by little, the big picture, Im so small in it. I try my best to hide, but everyone knows more than they are telling. They know about me, about the things I never share, the things I've done that will make people gasp in surprise and go "Huh? Him!?". I can see it in your eyes. In all your eyes, yes, you do accept me, but being human there is this nature in you that you cannot suppress, that tells you to look down on others. Compassion and empathy can only cover so much.
Is my life one big conspiracy theory with a huge hidden agenda? It feels that way, anything that can go wrong will go wrong when I begin planning on my own. But once I do things with OTHERS involved, then only will the plans work out. Is it because having somone else involved makes it more difficult to distrupt so as to not implicate any other outside parties? Yea, its confirmed I AM PSYCHOTIC. Ive been to see a shrink a few times before, I dont know how many, my memory plays tricks on me. The things I remember, are any of those for real? Occasionally I get scraps of memories that seem to vibrant yet unrealistic, and I doubt my mind.
Agh, this is getting deep and time consuming. I'll blog again some other time then, ciao.
Quote of the post:
Dont spend all your luck getting what you want, you might need some luck to keep it.
One False Move
Life is normal, same old same old. School just re-opened today, really really sianz. I tried my best to change but I still fell asleep during Maths and Assembly X_X Im not tired, its just... maths has never caught my fancy. For assembly, two words, Principal + Speech, you get the idea. 2004 Yearbook out!! But this time for the first time ever, it will be in a CD format ^_^ How cool is that? Peicai never fails to surprise me whenever I think there is nothing worth mentioning about that place.
Defiance, is it a trend? Or a strotype pressed on young people. We young people. Are they really lost and misunderstood? Or merely unwilling to give others a chance? Have everything, but think they have nothing to live for. Its all in the head isn't it? I think... I hope... I guess... probably... Everyone has thier own problems. For me, I guess (see?) it's attitude. I dont seem to care much about anything, whatever happens, Im like really laid back. More accurately, I DO care, but I just dont let it affect me - much.
Holidays over, back to school and our miserable daily routines again. This one week was so much shorter then it felt and felt tons better than it should have. But I spent alot ALOT of money in this one week, totally flat broke now. Mainly because of e Zen Micro... but also includes all those movies and so-on. I just remembered I forgot what I was going to blog about, maybe ill be back later when I remember, so for now, ciao!
Quote of e Post:
The look on your face tells me you think Im talking 90% crap and 10% rubbish
Defiance, is it a trend? Or a strotype pressed on young people. We young people. Are they really lost and misunderstood? Or merely unwilling to give others a chance? Have everything, but think they have nothing to live for. Its all in the head isn't it? I think... I hope... I guess... probably... Everyone has thier own problems. For me, I guess (see?) it's attitude. I dont seem to care much about anything, whatever happens, Im like really laid back. More accurately, I DO care, but I just dont let it affect me - much.
Holidays over, back to school and our miserable daily routines again. This one week was so much shorter then it felt and felt tons better than it should have. But I spent alot ALOT of money in this one week, totally flat broke now. Mainly because of e Zen Micro... but also includes all those movies and so-on. I just remembered I forgot what I was going to blog about, maybe ill be back later when I remember, so for now, ciao!
Quote of e Post:
The look on your face tells me you think Im talking 90% crap and 10% rubbish
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Success!
Internet explorer just ate up my previous post so this will be snappy cos I dont feel like replicating it all again >_<
If you bother to look to the left under my "Prayers" list (Also known better as the Wants listing) You can see a new item has been CROSSED OUT! Yes! I finally got my mp3 player ^_^ Not just any player. But a sleek suave Zen Micro which I queued like 14 hours for. After the humliating trashing the 300 man long queue gave me yesterday for the MuVo^2 FM 5GB I learnt my lesson and went the PREVIOUS NIGHT to queue and as expected, there was a mountain of people but with long suffring, patience, water and a stiff plastic chair we waited and waited finally emerging victorious. But I didnt get the Special offer insanely discounted 5GB version at $250, there was only 50 sets of that so I got the 4GB version at $299, still pretty darn good ^_^
Reached home at like 12+pm. Super tired, set up Zen Micro (now ZM for ease of typing) and left it to upload while I went off for a short nap. Awaking at 5pm I got a few rude shocks. 1st, there was some silly error so I only managed to upload 13 songs out of which one was corrupted. 2nd, no one woke me up! I missed RR!! THere goes my ROTY out the window and 3rd!! I was going to be late ofr the Synergy!2 Concert at Downtown east! As fast as I could I packed up, and left.
Took MRT all the way from Kovan to Pasir Ris so no doubt I was late, I only entered during the worship part at like 7:40pm (begins at 7) Lost and Alone until I spotted Daryl's hair sticking out of the crowd like a sore thumb (no offence, it just stands out obviously in contrast to the people around you) and managed to pull a seat for sharing. I have only $10 to last me the day, and I gave that $10 in the offering. Giving isnt giving until it hurts, that sure hurt but it's the least I could do... I COULD lose some weight (hmm...)
The Cab to my area was full (4ppl max, Joel, Jean, Jean's Friend and Dilys.. but I had no money anyway remember?) so I had to take bus. Found out that 89 goes all the way to Hougang Interchange ^_^ Nifty. So tired, never noticed still I stepped into my room
-The is one hour later at about 1:40am
Just finished setting up and uploading my new ZM! BAttery fully charged im ready to go ^_^ I just cant stop harping on it. That slick casing, the alluring blue glow on the cool metallic silver frame. The small size that fits snugly in your palm and the entire lightweight package is blowing me away, throw in a calander, tasks and contacts function, I about to collapse just holding it. Only using 500mb out of a possible 4GB but hey that leaves plenty of space to put other cool stuff right? ^_^
Really Tired now, hsa consumed teo glasses of ice cold water and is now nursing a stomach ache on an empty stomach. Lets just wait for breakfast shell we? (I didnt eat lunch Nor Dinner if you'd like to know) Loggin off, bye!
Quote of e Post:
- Micro Sized mp3 Player
- Mesmerising Blue Glow
- Curved to fit
- Up to 12hours of playtime
- Removable Li-Ion Battery
- Vertical Touch Pad
- FM Radio/Recorder
- Voice Recorder
- Contacts, Calander and Tasks function
- Removable Storage Feature
- Utilises the fast USB 2.0
[From the back of the ZM box ^_^]
If you bother to look to the left under my "Prayers" list (Also known better as the Wants listing) You can see a new item has been CROSSED OUT! Yes! I finally got my mp3 player ^_^ Not just any player. But a sleek suave Zen Micro which I queued like 14 hours for. After the humliating trashing the 300 man long queue gave me yesterday for the MuVo^2 FM 5GB I learnt my lesson and went the PREVIOUS NIGHT to queue and as expected, there was a mountain of people but with long suffring, patience, water and a stiff plastic chair we waited and waited finally emerging victorious. But I didnt get the Special offer insanely discounted 5GB version at $250, there was only 50 sets of that so I got the 4GB version at $299, still pretty darn good ^_^
Reached home at like 12+pm. Super tired, set up Zen Micro (now ZM for ease of typing) and left it to upload while I went off for a short nap. Awaking at 5pm I got a few rude shocks. 1st, there was some silly error so I only managed to upload 13 songs out of which one was corrupted. 2nd, no one woke me up! I missed RR!! THere goes my ROTY out the window and 3rd!! I was going to be late ofr the Synergy!2 Concert at Downtown east! As fast as I could I packed up, and left.
Took MRT all the way from Kovan to Pasir Ris so no doubt I was late, I only entered during the worship part at like 7:40pm (begins at 7) Lost and Alone until I spotted Daryl's hair sticking out of the crowd like a sore thumb (no offence, it just stands out obviously in contrast to the people around you) and managed to pull a seat for sharing. I have only $10 to last me the day, and I gave that $10 in the offering. Giving isnt giving until it hurts, that sure hurt but it's the least I could do... I COULD lose some weight (hmm...)
The Cab to my area was full (4ppl max, Joel, Jean, Jean's Friend and Dilys.. but I had no money anyway remember?) so I had to take bus. Found out that 89 goes all the way to Hougang Interchange ^_^ Nifty. So tired, never noticed still I stepped into my room
-The is one hour later at about 1:40am
Just finished setting up and uploading my new ZM! BAttery fully charged im ready to go ^_^ I just cant stop harping on it. That slick casing, the alluring blue glow on the cool metallic silver frame. The small size that fits snugly in your palm and the entire lightweight package is blowing me away, throw in a calander, tasks and contacts function, I about to collapse just holding it. Only using 500mb out of a possible 4GB but hey that leaves plenty of space to put other cool stuff right? ^_^
Really Tired now, hsa consumed teo glasses of ice cold water and is now nursing a stomach ache on an empty stomach. Lets just wait for breakfast shell we? (I didnt eat lunch Nor Dinner if you'd like to know) Loggin off, bye!
Quote of e Post:
- Micro Sized mp3 Player
- Mesmerising Blue Glow
- Curved to fit
- Up to 12hours of playtime
- Removable Li-Ion Battery
- Vertical Touch Pad
- FM Radio/Recorder
- Voice Recorder
- Contacts, Calander and Tasks function
- Removable Storage Feature
- Utilises the fast USB 2.0
[From the back of the ZM box ^_^]
Friday, March 18, 2005
Wasted trip
Woah, Im now like only blogging once every two days. So once again, chronological order people! Thursday, Oh yea! Dad's back, as per usual no big deal, my dad isnt nice enough to buy stuff specially for us when he returns from business trips, but hey who's complaining? The chocolates are always fascinatingly fabulous!! Went for breakfast at Heartland Mac, met with the Cheng group and then headed to their house.
We had originally planned to study then maybe catch a movie but ended up spending the whole day doing nothing. Discovered an awesome offer from Shan An's Dad. More on that later, reached home super late at like 11+pm, tired out, nuff said. This morning, woke up really REALLY early to go to Jurong. Huh? What for? Hmm... maybe I'll let you in on it if you ask nicely ^_^ but wasted my time there. There was no way we could have gotten what we wanted so we headed home after a while.
A nice fool-proof system to prevent people who might try to squeeze in but hey. Those people in the front queued for it fair and square, no two ways about it. Feeling l>@/\/\n frustrated that we couldnt make it, not just that but they never heeded my advice. "Who would be theer before 5 -6 am? Siao" Well I know and there was people who queued overnight. So who is ignorant now? I want to try again today. throughout tonight but since tomorrow is Saturday I expect a TON more people to be there, time is ticking even as I type, hopefully my parents will relent
But how am I supposed to ask outright for $250?! Thats my problem. My mom's tired so im cooking dinner.. maybe i'll blog later if im not queueing. Cya round! Ps. Sylvia, i may not be on tonight, so sorry and to everyone else, sms or call me hp if anything kaes?
Quote of e Post:
I dont have relationship problems, I dont even have a relationship!
We had originally planned to study then maybe catch a movie but ended up spending the whole day doing nothing. Discovered an awesome offer from Shan An's Dad. More on that later, reached home super late at like 11+pm, tired out, nuff said. This morning, woke up really REALLY early to go to Jurong. Huh? What for? Hmm... maybe I'll let you in on it if you ask nicely ^_^ but wasted my time there. There was no way we could have gotten what we wanted so we headed home after a while.
A nice fool-proof system to prevent people who might try to squeeze in but hey. Those people in the front queued for it fair and square, no two ways about it. Feeling l>@/\/\n frustrated that we couldnt make it, not just that but they never heeded my advice. "Who would be theer before 5 -6 am? Siao" Well I know and there was people who queued overnight. So who is ignorant now? I want to try again today. throughout tonight but since tomorrow is Saturday I expect a TON more people to be there, time is ticking even as I type, hopefully my parents will relent
But how am I supposed to ask outright for $250?! Thats my problem. My mom's tired so im cooking dinner.. maybe i'll blog later if im not queueing. Cya round! Ps. Sylvia, i may not be on tonight, so sorry and to everyone else, sms or call me hp if anything kaes?
Quote of e Post:
I dont have relationship problems, I dont even have a relationship!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Resolution Revolution
Tired. Thats all Ive got to say right now at like 11:25pm on the 16th of March. Thinking about today is just tiring, lets go back in chronological order shall we? 15th of March Wednesday, Actualyl was going to watch a movie thatr day but I had already watched a movie the previous day (Tuesday) which totally blew my wallet wide open so I scrapped that. ended up spending the day playing Narutimate Heros 2 at CSA'a home.. Im getting better ^_^ Heh..heh..heh
Ended up late for the dinner meeting that night. Its been really long since the old HG2 disbanded... And that 6 months or so I was missing, so much happened. I didn't even know Reuben joined us and all. It makes me sad just thinking about the past. I can never see anything but painful memories when I look back. Sandra, Anthony, Rong Sheng, Jean, Meryl, Laura, Celene - Thats all I can remember. It's been two years, or is it one and a half? I really don't know, time has no meaning to me for I try my best not to rememeber the past. But it's like a shadow that follows me around, and I cant shake my shadow unless I step out of the light....
*Sudden Thought*
If Is death by gun-shot painful? Without being alive to die from the wound, but to die from the impact of the bullet itself. Will it hurt?
*End of Thought*
Rushed off to buy chicken wings after the gathering (I totally forgot till then!) Without prior notification my mom was not ready to do any marinate so I had to do it all on my own :P It was really fun though! I enjoyed that, I really should do it again some time. Not only is it fun, it smells heavenly too ^_^ But it was really REALLY tiring, totally shack when I went to sleep at almost two worrying a ton over today.
Bright and early in school this morning. A big waste of time... those few hours could have gone to much better use. Zone outreach today! At long last. All that stress and planning has finally led to this day. But there was so much to do, with no time. Even when they reached the gate I was a t home and tootalyl not ready. Things that should have already been there only existed on paper in the form of notes and diagrams. But as we moved from programme to programme, slot to slot and event to event things began to clear up, improvisions and substitutions made on the spot. Everything fell into place, rather akwardly and not really smoothly but still together.
Im so glad of the little that I've done. I expected very little, but God gave more than we expected. 13 new-comers. When Cecelia asked, the best expected was 12 to 15 at very best as in if we were like DREAMING. But we had 13, Praise be to the Lord! That exceeded expectations. Kendrick appeared near the end to stress us out but hey, whats done has been done and it was pretty good, so hey, relax a little will ya?
- L33T Warning~!! L33T present after this point.
I really know when I am not wanted. Really, you dont need to make an effort to CONCEAL it. Just say that you want some privacy, no need to give tons of excuses and cook up a reason to send me off on some errand damnnit, Don't treat me as an Idiot. I hate it when people do that, I can see right through you. No need to shift and plan. No need for all that, its more for convinience then to help, i know. I understand enough without you having to rub it in. 1 4@+3 `/o(_) 8e(4\u53 1 1il<3 `/o(_).
J(_lx (o5 1'v3 61\/3/\/ (_)/> l>o35 /\/o+ /\/\3a/\/ 1 n() 1o/\/63r 1il<3 `/o(_l ....
It just isn't fair. Even though it is. One sided, so when you pull out only one side gets ripped. It may leave a temporary mark on the other surface but its only on the surface. Thats all it is, a facade a fake. So cold, so cold - those eyes speak in volumes what your mouth will never depart those lips. Is there is something here to build on, or do we just pick up the pieces after they fall?
This holidays (or whatever you want to call it is passing rally quickly. Just in a blink of an eye, Dad's back, and it is Wednesday night/Thurday morning. Half the week it gone just like that without a trace. Ive been having these weird dreams recently, about me and my friends all being around perculiar places always ending with me being alone and lost. Is any of this for real? Sometimes I think too much. Ignorance is indeed to a certain extent bliss. Id rather not know and live deleuded and happy, then to know the truth and see a picture bigger and more complicated than most.
Im glad Zone outeach is iover, Im gald we survived, Im glad my committee does not hate me, Im glad that we saved a few souls today, Im glad that Im still alive, Im glad that God made a way when there seemed to be no way, Im glad that this whole thing is blowing over, Im glad that im recovering well, Im glad that some things are that simple, Im also glad that some things arent quite that simple, Im glad that I got to meet the old HG2 again, Im glad that it is school holidays, Im glad that I have good friends, Im glad for so many things it would take me forever to finish this paragraph.
Im going off now... sleepy *YWAN* Buaiz
Quote of e Post:
When we are older you'll understand
What i meant when I said "no"
I don't think life is quite that simple
Ended up late for the dinner meeting that night. Its been really long since the old HG2 disbanded... And that 6 months or so I was missing, so much happened. I didn't even know Reuben joined us and all. It makes me sad just thinking about the past. I can never see anything but painful memories when I look back. Sandra, Anthony, Rong Sheng, Jean, Meryl, Laura, Celene - Thats all I can remember. It's been two years, or is it one and a half? I really don't know, time has no meaning to me for I try my best not to rememeber the past. But it's like a shadow that follows me around, and I cant shake my shadow unless I step out of the light....
*Sudden Thought*
If Is death by gun-shot painful? Without being alive to die from the wound, but to die from the impact of the bullet itself. Will it hurt?
*End of Thought*
Rushed off to buy chicken wings after the gathering (I totally forgot till then!) Without prior notification my mom was not ready to do any marinate so I had to do it all on my own :P It was really fun though! I enjoyed that, I really should do it again some time. Not only is it fun, it smells heavenly too ^_^ But it was really REALLY tiring, totally shack when I went to sleep at almost two worrying a ton over today.
Bright and early in school this morning. A big waste of time... those few hours could have gone to much better use. Zone outreach today! At long last. All that stress and planning has finally led to this day. But there was so much to do, with no time. Even when they reached the gate I was a t home and tootalyl not ready. Things that should have already been there only existed on paper in the form of notes and diagrams. But as we moved from programme to programme, slot to slot and event to event things began to clear up, improvisions and substitutions made on the spot. Everything fell into place, rather akwardly and not really smoothly but still together.
Im so glad of the little that I've done. I expected very little, but God gave more than we expected. 13 new-comers. When Cecelia asked, the best expected was 12 to 15 at very best as in if we were like DREAMING. But we had 13, Praise be to the Lord! That exceeded expectations. Kendrick appeared near the end to stress us out but hey, whats done has been done and it was pretty good, so hey, relax a little will ya?
- L33T Warning~!! L33T present after this point.
I really know when I am not wanted. Really, you dont need to make an effort to CONCEAL it. Just say that you want some privacy, no need to give tons of excuses and cook up a reason to send me off on some errand damnnit, Don't treat me as an Idiot. I hate it when people do that, I can see right through you. No need to shift and plan. No need for all that, its more for convinience then to help, i know. I understand enough without you having to rub it in. 1 4@+3 `/o(_) 8e(4\u53 1 1il<3 `/o(_).
J(_lx (o5 1'v3 61\/3/\/ (_)/> l>o35 /\/o+ /\/\3a/\/ 1 n() 1o/\/63r 1il<3 `/o(_l ....
It just isn't fair. Even though it is. One sided, so when you pull out only one side gets ripped. It may leave a temporary mark on the other surface but its only on the surface. Thats all it is, a facade a fake. So cold, so cold - those eyes speak in volumes what your mouth will never depart those lips. Is there is something here to build on, or do we just pick up the pieces after they fall?
This holidays (or whatever you want to call it is passing rally quickly. Just in a blink of an eye, Dad's back, and it is Wednesday night/Thurday morning. Half the week it gone just like that without a trace. Ive been having these weird dreams recently, about me and my friends all being around perculiar places always ending with me being alone and lost. Is any of this for real? Sometimes I think too much. Ignorance is indeed to a certain extent bliss. Id rather not know and live deleuded and happy, then to know the truth and see a picture bigger and more complicated than most.
Im glad Zone outeach is iover, Im gald we survived, Im glad my committee does not hate me, Im glad that we saved a few souls today, Im glad that Im still alive, Im glad that God made a way when there seemed to be no way, Im glad that this whole thing is blowing over, Im glad that im recovering well, Im glad that some things are that simple, Im also glad that some things arent quite that simple, Im glad that I got to meet the old HG2 again, Im glad that it is school holidays, Im glad that I have good friends, Im glad for so many things it would take me forever to finish this paragraph.
Im going off now... sleepy *YWAN* Buaiz
Quote of e Post:
When we are older you'll understand
What i meant when I said "no"
I don't think life is quite that simple
Monday, March 14, 2005
Im Downright shocked!
WooH! I have not blogged for a long time! ^_^ Fine shoot me, so it is only two days, but this has been like one of the longest days I have ever lived through. Sunday was just as per usual, went earlier to study and Yes!! I finished my most tedious piece of holiday homework, Math *Punches air and FF victory theme plays* Ahem, ok, so its done, A dozen thanks extended to Joel and Paula for their help ^_^
No CET that day because a SPECIAL speaker came for the adult service and as a result service ended at like 1:45pm. But the power and movement of God was so strong, Henry Hinn, the brother of Benny Hinn the world famous evangelist? Ya!! He was there! With his bodyguard(?) and all. Great man in more ways than one (if you get my meaning) his voice is so POWERFUL! He really rocked the church that day.
Which sadly made the Youth service seem a little anti-climatic. The speaker seems to have modelled his sermon for an adult audience so many people had their socks bored off... but the altar call at the end was powerful. If God came back today, what do you have to account for in your life? All about money and the riches of the world, dont make the mistake of building up riches HERE, build riches up THERE in Heaven. I dont have anything to account for, guess I'd better start filling up my storehouse in heaven ^_^
FIRST HOLIDAY-WEEKDAY!! Sugoi! Spent the WHOLE day out... in the morning went to Wei Xin's house to discuss Project Daes ^_^ Wont tell ya =P played Naruto 2 on his PS2, beat him ONLY with advantage on T_T Im lousy, partly because I rarely get the chance to play and secondly because, my hand-eye co-ordination is naturally flawed (not medically proven but many can testify to it)
Went to PS to watch movie! Argh! Am I the only one who turns out early? Meeting at 12 but reached at like 11:50 but NO ONE there! Dilys and Jean turned up at about 12:05-12:10 and went to PS to "walk abit" while Daryl and Co. toook their own sweet time arriving only at 12:30 Grr... Im not blaming anyone here but...Dilys and JEan made us go LOOK FOR THEM IN PS!! Why? Cos we "made them wait half an hour for nothing" excuse me? Plus the movie starts at like 1:50 and we spent till 1pm finding them, still need to eat etc and the tickets were selling fast why?! Because we WASTED TIME!!
Then somone had "strong objections" to watching A Series of Unforturnate Events (which was what I REALLY wanted to see T_T) so we ended up watching In Good Company. Oh man, I have never rated a movie so badly ever! Before the movie the theatre also made a funny blooper before the show began XD I have never rated a movie so badly... 1/5 thats it. To quote the movie -> Read a book [or in this case watch this movie] because it lets you see the lives of others to compliment your own boring one. so true, but i find the movie more boring than my life :P
LoL after the movie we went to get free food from Pizza Hut hahaz! [ristricted name due to sensitive nature] works at Pizza Hut [Branch name witheld too] and managed to sneak out like one regular Hawaiian pizza, 30 drumlets (O.O), 4 Lagsanas, and two baked rice lol! Had a tidy feast, details are best left to imagination ^_^ How blessed, yet now I feel so darn guilty!
Oh oh oh! YES! I managed to acquire a ticket to the Planet Shakers concert on Saturday night!! I feel so happy *walking on air* hahaz ^_^ Feels great! Got em off Jean-chan, cos her friend cant make it so I can have that ticket. Im broke now but aww what the heck, now all we need is to find Alfred one and the whole HG2 (Save for Paula I think) can go ^_^
Downloading a ton of songs... the amount of spyware inside has jumped tenfold at least, just scanned I had like 105 infections O.O hahaz, not recklessly downloading stuff is the best protection. But, I need to get my music fix :P Hahaz, Happy happy for tickets!! Praise the Lord, he is indeed the Provider ^_^
Stuck and lost (i just lost my point) I think ill end up here, buaiz ^_^
Quote of e Post:
Doesnt make sense not to live for fun
No CET that day because a SPECIAL speaker came for the adult service and as a result service ended at like 1:45pm. But the power and movement of God was so strong, Henry Hinn, the brother of Benny Hinn the world famous evangelist? Ya!! He was there! With his bodyguard(?) and all. Great man in more ways than one (if you get my meaning) his voice is so POWERFUL! He really rocked the church that day.
Which sadly made the Youth service seem a little anti-climatic. The speaker seems to have modelled his sermon for an adult audience so many people had their socks bored off... but the altar call at the end was powerful. If God came back today, what do you have to account for in your life? All about money and the riches of the world, dont make the mistake of building up riches HERE, build riches up THERE in Heaven. I dont have anything to account for, guess I'd better start filling up my storehouse in heaven ^_^
FIRST HOLIDAY-WEEKDAY!! Sugoi! Spent the WHOLE day out... in the morning went to Wei Xin's house to discuss Project Daes ^_^ Wont tell ya =P played Naruto 2 on his PS2, beat him ONLY with advantage on T_T Im lousy, partly because I rarely get the chance to play and secondly because, my hand-eye co-ordination is naturally flawed (not medically proven but many can testify to it)
Went to PS to watch movie! Argh! Am I the only one who turns out early? Meeting at 12 but reached at like 11:50 but NO ONE there! Dilys and Jean turned up at about 12:05-12:10 and went to PS to "walk abit" while Daryl and Co. toook their own sweet time arriving only at 12:30 Grr... Im not blaming anyone here but...Dilys and JEan made us go LOOK FOR THEM IN PS!! Why? Cos we "made them wait half an hour for nothing" excuse me? Plus the movie starts at like 1:50 and we spent till 1pm finding them, still need to eat etc and the tickets were selling fast why?! Because we WASTED TIME!!
Then somone had "strong objections" to watching A Series of Unforturnate Events (which was what I REALLY wanted to see T_T) so we ended up watching In Good Company. Oh man, I have never rated a movie so badly ever! Before the movie the theatre also made a funny blooper before the show began XD I have never rated a movie so badly... 1/5 thats it. To quote the movie -> Read a book [or in this case watch this movie] because it lets you see the lives of others to compliment your own boring one. so true, but i find the movie more boring than my life :P
LoL after the movie we went to get free food from Pizza Hut hahaz! [ristricted name due to sensitive nature] works at Pizza Hut [Branch name witheld too] and managed to sneak out like one regular Hawaiian pizza, 30 drumlets (O.O), 4 Lagsanas, and two baked rice lol! Had a tidy feast, details are best left to imagination ^_^ How blessed, yet now I feel so darn guilty!
Oh oh oh! YES! I managed to acquire a ticket to the Planet Shakers concert on Saturday night!! I feel so happy *walking on air* hahaz ^_^ Feels great! Got em off Jean-chan, cos her friend cant make it so I can have that ticket. Im broke now but aww what the heck, now all we need is to find Alfred one and the whole HG2 (Save for Paula I think) can go ^_^
Downloading a ton of songs... the amount of spyware inside has jumped tenfold at least, just scanned I had like 105 infections O.O hahaz, not recklessly downloading stuff is the best protection. But, I need to get my music fix :P Hahaz, Happy happy for tickets!! Praise the Lord, he is indeed the Provider ^_^
Stuck and lost (i just lost my point) I think ill end up here, buaiz ^_^
Quote of e Post:
Doesnt make sense not to live for fun
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Let's kick things off with...
Hahaz, My blog titles are not making sense again! As you can see very sadly I changed my skin again because something went wrong with the other one (which I very much prefer) I wish the host would be alright soon or I'll be stuck with this. Woke up bright (ok quite dark then) and early at 7am this morning, went to school at 8:30am to collect report card, silly right? Parents talk, even if parents are not there, the pupil still must go for the whole talk, not just the collection -_-'' Ridiculous.
Finished "To Kill a Mockingbird"! Not bad, but I dont like the "nigger talk" what a degradory term for negroes or african americans. Feeling as disgusted as Jem did, how unfair. The color of ones skin does not make them any less a human. Much less in the one place where ones race, religion or whatever should not matter and be as equal as any man, in the court of law. Moving on to "A Wrinkle (or is it twinkle?) in Time" the last book i borrowed from Ms Kodi... not bad :D But still have math TYS to complete and english speech... someday somehow
What is the "meaning of peace"? According to the dictionary, peace, is
1) The absence of war or other hostilities.
2) An agreement or a treaty to end hostilities.
3) Freedom from quarrels and disagreement; harmonious relations: roommates living in peace with each other.
4) Public security and order: was arrested for disturbing the peace.
5) Inner contentment; serenity: peace of mind.
To me, peace is number 3, to be free from quarrells and disagreements. So I want to know, what is on your mind, what are you thinking, what do you expect. That is the problem with people... but then again, if everything is open and there are no quarrells and disagreements and everyone has the same ideas, wont life be darn boring?
Found a new but rather unreliable place to download mp3s ^_^ Use those obscure chinese mp3 searchers and search for your english songs, if you know chinese, you will be able to read the titles and download em, you SHOULD get what you want ^_^ pretty nifty eh?
One week holidays have just began but work is piling up towards the ceiling, Lord! I need strength not only to do my work but also to ensure I do my work FIRST before I enjoy myself... I need self-control and discipline, tons of it especially to cram chinese. Zone Outreach draws ever closer, I want to urge everyone who is free for the dayon the 16th of March (This comign Wed) to make it a point to come. You really dont want to miss this.
Ya know, the way the world is now really stinks. Right and wrong are no longer clearly defined. Are things really changing? Or is it a big cover up? Are things going to be ok? Or is it just a lie before the final blow? We live, knowing the end is near, yet do not do a thing about it, and say it is just a lie, everyone will live to a ripe old age blah blah. A song for a misled world where nothing is what it seems, Stand - by Jewel, enjoy.
Walk in a corner shop
See a shoplifting cop
See the old lady with a gun
See the hero try to run
Nothing's what it seems, I mean
It's not all dirty, but it's not all clean
There's children paying bills
There's monks buying thrills
There's pride for sale in magazines
There's pills for rent 2 make u clean
Marvin Gaye, there's no brother, brother
Woody Guthrie's land can't feed Mother
[CHORUS]
Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one to blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand
A waitress brings me lunch
We meet but do not touch
On TV, D.C. is selling lies
While in the corner, King's dream dies
Go to the counter, pay for me and my friend
A homeless man pulls out a roll, says it's on him
The mayor has no cash
He said he spent it on hookers and hash
[CHORUS]
[CHORUS]
-------------------------------------
Take a stand, one person cant do much so, everyone pitch in. Help out, make a stand. Something wrong? Something you know aint right? Make a stand, stop it.
Report card looks horrible, No where near the target set by yours truly. Only one red mark on the whole paper, for chinese, bad enough though. Topping the class is not consolation, after all the class did do pretty badly.. ok VERY badly. Most people didnt do well anyway, just common test ONE, CA ONE can slack... I just dont get their flawed mentality.
What a long day... and another long day ahead. Not sure if I should go for a movie with everyone else, depends mainly on what they are watching, Im after "A Series of Unforturnate Events" But they want to watch Hitch.. but tons of us have already watched that -_- Results tomorrow. Still have to do some stuff for ZO'05. lots of things to do within this one week/few days.. busy busy busy.
Argh! Just missed Anna-chan -_- Aiya nvm, so late.. I think she's going off to sleep anyway. Ha, everyone is going offline one after another, guess it is time I went to.. ciao!
Quote of e Post:
I can still see dreams because of you
I want to be strong, understand each other,
probably to arrive someday
Finished "To Kill a Mockingbird"! Not bad, but I dont like the "nigger talk" what a degradory term for negroes or african americans. Feeling as disgusted as Jem did, how unfair. The color of ones skin does not make them any less a human. Much less in the one place where ones race, religion or whatever should not matter and be as equal as any man, in the court of law. Moving on to "A Wrinkle (or is it twinkle?) in Time" the last book i borrowed from Ms Kodi... not bad :D But still have math TYS to complete and english speech... someday somehow
What is the "meaning of peace"? According to the dictionary, peace, is
1) The absence of war or other hostilities.
2) An agreement or a treaty to end hostilities.
3) Freedom from quarrels and disagreement; harmonious relations: roommates living in peace with each other.
4) Public security and order: was arrested for disturbing the peace.
5) Inner contentment; serenity: peace of mind.
To me, peace is number 3, to be free from quarrells and disagreements. So I want to know, what is on your mind, what are you thinking, what do you expect. That is the problem with people... but then again, if everything is open and there are no quarrells and disagreements and everyone has the same ideas, wont life be darn boring?
Found a new but rather unreliable place to download mp3s ^_^ Use those obscure chinese mp3 searchers and search for your english songs, if you know chinese, you will be able to read the titles and download em, you SHOULD get what you want ^_^ pretty nifty eh?
One week holidays have just began but work is piling up towards the ceiling, Lord! I need strength not only to do my work but also to ensure I do my work FIRST before I enjoy myself... I need self-control and discipline, tons of it especially to cram chinese. Zone Outreach draws ever closer, I want to urge everyone who is free for the dayon the 16th of March (This comign Wed) to make it a point to come. You really dont want to miss this.
Ya know, the way the world is now really stinks. Right and wrong are no longer clearly defined. Are things really changing? Or is it a big cover up? Are things going to be ok? Or is it just a lie before the final blow? We live, knowing the end is near, yet do not do a thing about it, and say it is just a lie, everyone will live to a ripe old age blah blah. A song for a misled world where nothing is what it seems, Stand - by Jewel, enjoy.
Walk in a corner shop
See a shoplifting cop
See the old lady with a gun
See the hero try to run
Nothing's what it seems, I mean
It's not all dirty, but it's not all clean
There's children paying bills
There's monks buying thrills
There's pride for sale in magazines
There's pills for rent 2 make u clean
Marvin Gaye, there's no brother, brother
Woody Guthrie's land can't feed Mother
[CHORUS]
Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one to blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand
A waitress brings me lunch
We meet but do not touch
On TV, D.C. is selling lies
While in the corner, King's dream dies
Go to the counter, pay for me and my friend
A homeless man pulls out a roll, says it's on him
The mayor has no cash
He said he spent it on hookers and hash
[CHORUS]
[CHORUS]
-------------------------------------
Take a stand, one person cant do much so, everyone pitch in. Help out, make a stand. Something wrong? Something you know aint right? Make a stand, stop it.
Report card looks horrible, No where near the target set by yours truly. Only one red mark on the whole paper, for chinese, bad enough though. Topping the class is not consolation, after all the class did do pretty badly.. ok VERY badly. Most people didnt do well anyway, just common test ONE, CA ONE can slack... I just dont get their flawed mentality.
What a long day... and another long day ahead. Not sure if I should go for a movie with everyone else, depends mainly on what they are watching, Im after "A Series of Unforturnate Events" But they want to watch Hitch.. but tons of us have already watched that -_- Results tomorrow. Still have to do some stuff for ZO'05. lots of things to do within this one week/few days.. busy busy busy.
Argh! Just missed Anna-chan -_- Aiya nvm, so late.. I think she's going off to sleep anyway. Ha, everyone is going offline one after another, guess it is time I went to.. ciao!
Quote of e Post:
I can still see dreams because of you
I want to be strong, understand each other,
probably to arrive someday
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Step By Step
Blogging for Today and Yesterday, or if you want to nitpick, Yesterday (Friday) and the day before (Thurs)
Tada! What a smooth sailing day Thursday was! Only tiny upset was the collection of all our chinese work of every form imaginable, which I am surely unable to fufil so I wish the H.O.D good luck trying to find my files (both non-existant) and workbooks (only one out of like 4 avaliable)
Easy day, good thing too, for I spent the last night up to about 2am finishing up my D&T folio. Very Proud of it too, handed it in today for marking, excited ^_^. The school has this new-fangled thing called the PTS or Performance Tracking System which lets your nice parents log online and check all your recent test and exam results. Smashing ^_^ Odd thing is that although it is for parents to use, the user ID and Pass is based on the pupil's individual bio-data so it is abit no brainer.
Calculated Common Test (Note, Common test DOES NOT EQUATE to CA1) L1R4/R5 scores. Not too good... with 16 and 18 respectively. Quite shabby compared to my original aim of like 10 and below T_T Maybe im just aiming too high for JUST the start of the year... I wont be beaten just because Im in 4E!
Doing speeches for english now, one of the coolest things we have done thus far. Too bad im not in a position to read a speech penned my yours truly.. oh well, listening to speeches is also fun depending on who's giving it. Ive got my eyes set on that 30 dollar book voucher Miss Kodi is giving out to the person who reads the most in the class :P I can think of a good way to use it ^_^ One book down, four to go :P
Meet the Parents Session tomorrow, but since my parents are not able to go, and are not required to go (only compulsory for pupils who failed 3 or more subjects ) Seems like the school STILL wants me to go ON MY OWN. from 8:30am till 12pm!! Which I cant do, I have a meeting at 12pm!! Oh Man... Id better think fast, on one side is my commitments, on the other, is my report card T_T ah well, just see how things unfold.
Friday! Another smooth day, Something is wrong with the school, i can FEEL it! It's been too easy, far too easy. Practically just filing, talking and alot more filing from every subject on. Got holiday homework today, not alot, the bulk came from Math, TYS smashing all the way ^_^ Miss Kodi is so nice to us ^_^ Holiday homework us just write our speech (Yes!! I was hoping for this), to finish our book (I already have, starting and halfway through my second) and WATCH A MOVIE!! Isn't that like so cool? I think only Miss Kodi and Mr Phoon will allows uch things... what nice teachers ^_^
Went for the evangelism workshop, not as stressful of boring as I thought, rather fun actually ^_^Learnt some new things, not alot but im sure more will follow tomorrow (or later today) and tha makes all the difference.
Everything looks normal! No sign that anything ever happened... was it just a rumor? Maybe I think too much... T_T But it is always better to be cautious and on guard... I just hope this whole thing blows over as soon as possible and does not esclate any more, I really just want to get it behind me and forget about it. Its better this way, not only for me, but also for everyone else
I think thats all for today, btw, THANKYEW Anna for those brownies ^_^ Evem though you werent the one who baked them, next time must try ok? It's a promise then ^_^ Work Hard, only abotu 6 - 7 months left!
Quote of e post:
Give me one clean shot to finish it all...
Tada! What a smooth sailing day Thursday was! Only tiny upset was the collection of all our chinese work of every form imaginable, which I am surely unable to fufil so I wish the H.O.D good luck trying to find my files (both non-existant) and workbooks (only one out of like 4 avaliable)
Easy day, good thing too, for I spent the last night up to about 2am finishing up my D&T folio. Very Proud of it too, handed it in today for marking, excited ^_^. The school has this new-fangled thing called the PTS or Performance Tracking System which lets your nice parents log online and check all your recent test and exam results. Smashing ^_^ Odd thing is that although it is for parents to use, the user ID and Pass is based on the pupil's individual bio-data so it is abit no brainer.
Calculated Common Test (Note, Common test DOES NOT EQUATE to CA1) L1R4/R5 scores. Not too good... with 16 and 18 respectively. Quite shabby compared to my original aim of like 10 and below T_T Maybe im just aiming too high for JUST the start of the year... I wont be beaten just because Im in 4E!
Doing speeches for english now, one of the coolest things we have done thus far. Too bad im not in a position to read a speech penned my yours truly.. oh well, listening to speeches is also fun depending on who's giving it. Ive got my eyes set on that 30 dollar book voucher Miss Kodi is giving out to the person who reads the most in the class :P I can think of a good way to use it ^_^ One book down, four to go :P
Meet the Parents Session tomorrow, but since my parents are not able to go, and are not required to go (only compulsory for pupils who failed 3 or more subjects ) Seems like the school STILL wants me to go ON MY OWN. from 8:30am till 12pm!! Which I cant do, I have a meeting at 12pm!! Oh Man... Id better think fast, on one side is my commitments, on the other, is my report card T_T ah well, just see how things unfold.
Friday! Another smooth day, Something is wrong with the school, i can FEEL it! It's been too easy, far too easy. Practically just filing, talking and alot more filing from every subject on. Got holiday homework today, not alot, the bulk came from Math, TYS smashing all the way ^_^ Miss Kodi is so nice to us ^_^ Holiday homework us just write our speech (Yes!! I was hoping for this), to finish our book (I already have, starting and halfway through my second) and WATCH A MOVIE!! Isn't that like so cool? I think only Miss Kodi and Mr Phoon will allows uch things... what nice teachers ^_^
Went for the evangelism workshop, not as stressful of boring as I thought, rather fun actually ^_^Learnt some new things, not alot but im sure more will follow tomorrow (or later today) and tha makes all the difference.
Everything looks normal! No sign that anything ever happened... was it just a rumor? Maybe I think too much... T_T But it is always better to be cautious and on guard... I just hope this whole thing blows over as soon as possible and does not esclate any more, I really just want to get it behind me and forget about it. Its better this way, not only for me, but also for everyone else
I think thats all for today, btw, THANKYEW Anna for those brownies ^_^ Evem though you werent the one who baked them, next time must try ok? It's a promise then ^_^ Work Hard, only abotu 6 - 7 months left!
Quote of e post:
Give me one clean shot to finish it all...
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
The Ice is Running Thin
D&T deadline tomorrow! And im SO FAR from being done. Looking for pictures of trolleys and whats-not. I need like 4 pages. That is INSANE I tell you, the D&T commitee for O Level should be shot. Hmm, surprisingly, no extra school for most of this one week holidays ^_^ Anyone want to go out or something? I feel like a kick!
Life, passion and drive. What is it really that makes me tick? Today in class i made it a point not to sleep at all so they wont throw paper balls at me, it worked! surprisingly well infact. They were just WAITING for me to go down, but im not gonna! =P Waste your paper man, go on! Im not going to lend you ANY when you run out =P MWahahaz, im evil arent i?
Ive just got this wierd horror idea. Think, your doorbell rings and you open the door to find an envelope. Open it and you get a card and an empty bullet casing. The card reads - Guess where this fella went? Look up and you see a dead guy hanging there. Creepy no? Hahaz, stupid idea.. wonder why I typed it. Sorry for any bad images.
Oh yea! School having parent teacher meeting on Saturday but Im not going! Neither are my parents, they are busy! and Miss Shim says it is only compulsory for those who failed 3 or more subjects, and I didnt! I THINK I passed all, maybe except chinese but yea! Woot
Short post for today, nothing weighing on my mind or anything like that.. logging off!
Quote for e post:
Experience is something you only gain after you really need it.
Life, passion and drive. What is it really that makes me tick? Today in class i made it a point not to sleep at all so they wont throw paper balls at me, it worked! surprisingly well infact. They were just WAITING for me to go down, but im not gonna! =P Waste your paper man, go on! Im not going to lend you ANY when you run out =P MWahahaz, im evil arent i?
Ive just got this wierd horror idea. Think, your doorbell rings and you open the door to find an envelope. Open it and you get a card and an empty bullet casing. The card reads - Guess where this fella went? Look up and you see a dead guy hanging there. Creepy no? Hahaz, stupid idea.. wonder why I typed it. Sorry for any bad images.
Oh yea! School having parent teacher meeting on Saturday but Im not going! Neither are my parents, they are busy! and Miss Shim says it is only compulsory for those who failed 3 or more subjects, and I didnt! I THINK I passed all, maybe except chinese but yea! Woot
Short post for today, nothing weighing on my mind or anything like that.. logging off!
Quote for e post:
Experience is something you only gain after you really need it.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Its over, No big...
Finally got all results back today. Surprise! I did better for Geography than for Social Studies, hmm... maybe it's cos I didnt really remember WHAT policies the government had and only listed them as "policies" lol. So the past week hsa been wierd, you know the eyes and the questions. So THAT's what it is all about. Haz, that died about a week or two ago, it is all over, no big deal really. Surprising how easy it was to let the whole thing drop, makes me wonder how really deep in it I was to be able to disconnect so easily without any backlash.
So, I am really that passive about everything eh? Guess I have yet to find something that can really pull me enough to make me put 100% into it. I had that kind of drive and passion last year, but now it seems to have died. Where did it go? Who knows? I dont for sure (see? living proof of my passive care-less-ness)
So, you either hate me, or you are trying to "stop me from sleeping in class". Thanks, I really appreciate that *note the sacarsm* You know what? I have one phrase for you -> "détestez-moi, là n'êtes aucun amour perdu entre nous." In french, it means "Hate me, for there is no love lost between us." Yea, I dont care if you hate me or not. I dont care really, you are none of my concern, I do not and cannot feel any touch of "love" from my heart. So much for loving your enemies... should I work on that? I really dont want to =P I feel like saying : hey you idiots there! Im not going to care about you and Ill have a great time seeing you burn in hell! But I cant do that can I?
Right now, I wish i feel bad for saying those things. I wish I felt guilty and want to repent. But honestly, I dont. Have I done so many bad things that my conscience has died on me? Ha. I really dont know. Yea, Im damn evil, there is so much to me you know nothing about. We are different you and I, Im sure you've noticed that by now. I try, but we just aint the same. Im not the person you know. I am not that good, im not God-fearing, not talented in atheletics, not able to grasp schoolwork easily, not able to let it all go. Frustrated? Yell at me, go on. Say: "Why dont you stop harping on the things you cant do and find a way to ensure you can?" Shout it, it will make you feel better. And maybe, just maybe, I might get some feeling back inside me, since when did I die inside?
Just noticed... someone tagged! That just makes you feel all warm inside (if you have an inside) dosen't it? You know, that just made my day all brighter ^_^ Someone reads my blog, someone cares to! That is like the greatest feeling in the world XD Whoopie! Thanks Joel, you've made my day hahaz.. now I feel like re-writing my post... that was so, dark? I dunno.
Smile eh? I used to dispense that advice until no one actually cared to follow. Oh well, rather a truthful sob than a fake smile. My blog is to post whatever I want is it? Yet it is still confinded to what We are willing to reveal to the public, how contridictary. Im ending here, D&T folio FINAL FINAL day is slotted this Thursday, 2 days to get it all down to pat. Wish me luck, I will need it.
PS if you are reading this (You will know who you are) its over, so let is pass. So the word got out, big deal. Blame me if you want, I dont know how and I dont care to find the culprit or even if it was my own fault. Hope things will be back to normal, as normal as they ever were, because really, nothing ever happened, dont blow it up damnnit.
Quote of the Post:
I cant feel the way I did before, dont turn your back on me...
So, I am really that passive about everything eh? Guess I have yet to find something that can really pull me enough to make me put 100% into it. I had that kind of drive and passion last year, but now it seems to have died. Where did it go? Who knows? I dont for sure (see? living proof of my passive care-less-ness)
So, you either hate me, or you are trying to "stop me from sleeping in class". Thanks, I really appreciate that *note the sacarsm* You know what? I have one phrase for you -> "détestez-moi, là n'êtes aucun amour perdu entre nous." In french, it means "Hate me, for there is no love lost between us." Yea, I dont care if you hate me or not. I dont care really, you are none of my concern, I do not and cannot feel any touch of "love" from my heart. So much for loving your enemies... should I work on that? I really dont want to =P I feel like saying : hey you idiots there! Im not going to care about you and Ill have a great time seeing you burn in hell! But I cant do that can I?
Right now, I wish i feel bad for saying those things. I wish I felt guilty and want to repent. But honestly, I dont. Have I done so many bad things that my conscience has died on me? Ha. I really dont know. Yea, Im damn evil, there is so much to me you know nothing about. We are different you and I, Im sure you've noticed that by now. I try, but we just aint the same. Im not the person you know. I am not that good, im not God-fearing, not talented in atheletics, not able to grasp schoolwork easily, not able to let it all go. Frustrated? Yell at me, go on. Say: "Why dont you stop harping on the things you cant do and find a way to ensure you can?" Shout it, it will make you feel better. And maybe, just maybe, I might get some feeling back inside me, since when did I die inside?
Just noticed... someone tagged! That just makes you feel all warm inside (if you have an inside) dosen't it? You know, that just made my day all brighter ^_^ Someone reads my blog, someone cares to! That is like the greatest feeling in the world XD Whoopie! Thanks Joel, you've made my day hahaz.. now I feel like re-writing my post... that was so, dark? I dunno.
Smile eh? I used to dispense that advice until no one actually cared to follow. Oh well, rather a truthful sob than a fake smile. My blog is to post whatever I want is it? Yet it is still confinded to what We are willing to reveal to the public, how contridictary. Im ending here, D&T folio FINAL FINAL day is slotted this Thursday, 2 days to get it all down to pat. Wish me luck, I will need it.
PS if you are reading this (You will know who you are) its over, so let is pass. So the word got out, big deal. Blame me if you want, I dont know how and I dont care to find the culprit or even if it was my own fault. Hope things will be back to normal, as normal as they ever were, because really, nothing ever happened, dont blow it up damnnit.
Quote of the Post:
I cant feel the way I did before, dont turn your back on me...
Monday, March 07, 2005
Insane Mess
The 2nd shortest lived blogskin, the Midgar skin has just been scrapped. It lasted a pathatic
Woah, the weekends really know how to fly ^_^ It's been a messy and confusing weekend... For me at least. Saturday, early morning, really early at like 10am went to watch "Hitch" at PS... I found it brilliant even if some other people do not find it worth their time. For me? I dont mind watching it AGAIN! Yea Im biased shoot me. Then went off to Tanjong Pagar MRT to meet the ERs for the second leg of our Level 1 Sport Climbing Course ^_^ Yea! I GOT MY LEVEL ONE CERT/CARD! I absolutely love it, looks fabulous :P
Sunday! Went to study in the morning again ^_^ Yea, I like it hahaz. Oh yea, talking about studying, I better get down to business. So you should expect to see me online LESS often. Im also shelving the PS and FF7... For Good. It isnt a good influence, and I just begin to feel uncomfortable knowing that Im doing something im not supposed to in full knowledge of the fact im not supposed to do it. Confusing? Re-read please.
During service... I really felt that something was missing, so when I went to get prayed for, I knew i really needed it. I was told that I am there, and God is there, but there is a door between us, and I am holding the key in my hand. I want to know, what is the door? I dont want to take the key and open the door. I want to bash that door down so that it does not exist anymore!
Im scared, Im really really. Rachel spoke of hell on Sunday. I am not entirely certain where I will go when I die. I think about this sometimes and I can imagine myself in heaven, the way I am but different, there praising and worshipping for enternity. Then I think of the word ENTERNITY and I just get a fright, you see? Beign finite I just cant comprehend infinity. It scares me... makes me feel like I dont ever want to die and move on, ever.
Sunday was totally odd. Everywhere, it might look normal but I can see it, I just feel that something is wrong, something is missing. There is a different look in everyone's eyes. I try to remmber that familiar feeling and I finally realise what it is. It is coldness. The deep dark coldness in all their glares, the exact same kind I face in class day after day. What have I done wrong? What did I do or not do? I dont know what is right anymore, what do you want me to do? People are just so complicated...
Today, Monday, return to school more drained and muddled than before. Keyholder absent so the class stupidly waited outside the class after assembly. Miss Ming walked past and denied us access to the class because we did not take any INITIATIVE to take the keys on our own. Just because the keyholder is not here. So it fell upon my shoulders, I stepped out in courage and led the class no matter how grudgingly, they followed, got the key back and life went on. But what struck me was that No one out of the 25 odd people standing there cared to go and take the key on their own. Keyholder absent, first thing is point to the monitor, monitor late? Wait like logs. How smart.
For Assembly, the school invited a group from MINDS, the "Movement for the Intellectually Disabled fo Singapore" to put up a performance. These people, train for years to handle simple performances like the chicken dance for example. But yet they live life to the fullest, while we, fully capable dare not take risks, dare not step out our comfort zone. Who's the one who is handicapped now? Being human, the most intelligent of all species, with full self-awareness and self-conciouness, we either care too much or we dont care at all. Sometimes, our intellect is more of a burden than a blessing...
You know, paper balls, just dry crushed up balls of fullscap paper are not hard and can do little to no physical damage. But as they rain down on me in class as i sit there, ignoring them. They do only mental damage. Yea, they hurt inside. What have I done to deserve this from them? And as a result spiritual damage. I cant hate them, I cant retaliate, I try to be meek but it is just so hard to do. Sitting still will only draw more fire... What am I to do?
I do not need to be some big shot doctor to testify the wonderous effects of music therapy. My winamp playlist is the only non-living thing that can lift my spirits, inspire me, motivate me, make me tear, make me laugh, make me reflect on life, make me fall asleep, prevent me from sleeping, fire me up, make me feel depressed, make me feel guilty, make me feel invincible and a whole slew of other things. Heck, i think even some people cant do all that to me. I found another reason to like Japanese songs. I dont know what they are saying, so it is really just - music. Especially when I have a headache, my brain does not need to process the meaning... the beat of the music can really make me feel better. If not for all that music on my comp, I wouldnt have made it so far till this day. Honestly. That is how powerful music is, so choose wisely, i believe I have already spoken on that topic last year.
Headache throbbing... not much is helping. Hope I dont fall ill, please let it just be a headache and not a fever. I wont take my temperature. More common test rubbish, just passed Physics with a mere 26/50 and barely lived up to expectations in Social Studies with 17/25. The only piece of good news is that my Geography pulled in a 33/40 which when combined with my Social Studies under Combined Humanities scraped me a 75, which is an A1.
Just noticed... am I displaying symptoms of psychosis? Thinking people are out to get you, thinking too much and all... Am i going crazy? Maybe I am, but peop;e who are going crazy will not know that they are so i think im quite safe. Life has been a cycle of average, bad and worse... I dont know how to go on any more.
Finally to my classmates, dont worry, Im not going to commit suicide or die anytime soon, so dont be too happy... I will still be around just more moody =P
Quote of the Post:
Dosent that sound familiar? Dosent that hit so close to home? Dosent that make you shiver , on how things could have gone?
Woah, the weekends really know how to fly ^_^ It's been a messy and confusing weekend... For me at least. Saturday, early morning, really early at like 10am went to watch "Hitch" at PS... I found it brilliant even if some other people do not find it worth their time. For me? I dont mind watching it AGAIN! Yea Im biased shoot me. Then went off to Tanjong Pagar MRT to meet the ERs for the second leg of our Level 1 Sport Climbing Course ^_^ Yea! I GOT MY LEVEL ONE CERT/CARD! I absolutely love it, looks fabulous :P
Sunday! Went to study in the morning again ^_^ Yea, I like it hahaz. Oh yea, talking about studying, I better get down to business. So you should expect to see me online LESS often. Im also shelving the PS and FF7... For Good. It isnt a good influence, and I just begin to feel uncomfortable knowing that Im doing something im not supposed to in full knowledge of the fact im not supposed to do it. Confusing? Re-read please.
During service... I really felt that something was missing, so when I went to get prayed for, I knew i really needed it. I was told that I am there, and God is there, but there is a door between us, and I am holding the key in my hand. I want to know, what is the door? I dont want to take the key and open the door. I want to bash that door down so that it does not exist anymore!
Im scared, Im really really. Rachel spoke of hell on Sunday. I am not entirely certain where I will go when I die. I think about this sometimes and I can imagine myself in heaven, the way I am but different, there praising and worshipping for enternity. Then I think of the word ENTERNITY and I just get a fright, you see? Beign finite I just cant comprehend infinity. It scares me... makes me feel like I dont ever want to die and move on, ever.
Sunday was totally odd. Everywhere, it might look normal but I can see it, I just feel that something is wrong, something is missing. There is a different look in everyone's eyes. I try to remmber that familiar feeling and I finally realise what it is. It is coldness. The deep dark coldness in all their glares, the exact same kind I face in class day after day. What have I done wrong? What did I do or not do? I dont know what is right anymore, what do you want me to do? People are just so complicated...
Today, Monday, return to school more drained and muddled than before. Keyholder absent so the class stupidly waited outside the class after assembly. Miss Ming walked past and denied us access to the class because we did not take any INITIATIVE to take the keys on our own. Just because the keyholder is not here. So it fell upon my shoulders, I stepped out in courage and led the class no matter how grudgingly, they followed, got the key back and life went on. But what struck me was that No one out of the 25 odd people standing there cared to go and take the key on their own. Keyholder absent, first thing is point to the monitor, monitor late? Wait like logs. How smart.
For Assembly, the school invited a group from MINDS, the "Movement for the Intellectually Disabled fo Singapore" to put up a performance. These people, train for years to handle simple performances like the chicken dance for example. But yet they live life to the fullest, while we, fully capable dare not take risks, dare not step out our comfort zone. Who's the one who is handicapped now? Being human, the most intelligent of all species, with full self-awareness and self-conciouness, we either care too much or we dont care at all. Sometimes, our intellect is more of a burden than a blessing...
You know, paper balls, just dry crushed up balls of fullscap paper are not hard and can do little to no physical damage. But as they rain down on me in class as i sit there, ignoring them. They do only mental damage. Yea, they hurt inside. What have I done to deserve this from them? And as a result spiritual damage. I cant hate them, I cant retaliate, I try to be meek but it is just so hard to do. Sitting still will only draw more fire... What am I to do?
I do not need to be some big shot doctor to testify the wonderous effects of music therapy. My winamp playlist is the only non-living thing that can lift my spirits, inspire me, motivate me, make me tear, make me laugh, make me reflect on life, make me fall asleep, prevent me from sleeping, fire me up, make me feel depressed, make me feel guilty, make me feel invincible and a whole slew of other things. Heck, i think even some people cant do all that to me. I found another reason to like Japanese songs. I dont know what they are saying, so it is really just - music. Especially when I have a headache, my brain does not need to process the meaning... the beat of the music can really make me feel better. If not for all that music on my comp, I wouldnt have made it so far till this day. Honestly. That is how powerful music is, so choose wisely, i believe I have already spoken on that topic last year.
Headache throbbing... not much is helping. Hope I dont fall ill, please let it just be a headache and not a fever. I wont take my temperature. More common test rubbish, just passed Physics with a mere 26/50 and barely lived up to expectations in Social Studies with 17/25. The only piece of good news is that my Geography pulled in a 33/40 which when combined with my Social Studies under Combined Humanities scraped me a 75, which is an A1.
Just noticed... am I displaying symptoms of psychosis? Thinking people are out to get you, thinking too much and all... Am i going crazy? Maybe I am, but peop;e who are going crazy will not know that they are so i think im quite safe. Life has been a cycle of average, bad and worse... I dont know how to go on any more.
Finally to my classmates, dont worry, Im not going to commit suicide or die anytime soon, so dont be too happy... I will still be around just more moody =P
Quote of the Post:
Dosent that sound familiar? Dosent that hit so close to home? Dosent that make you shiver , on how things could have gone?
Friday, March 04, 2005
Disappointment... all My Fault
So much for doing well this Common Test. My English was terrible, because I missed a question and I was so careless and over confident I didnt check through my paper. I only got a measly 15/25. Which translates into a Mere B4... Far below my usual English mark. I really dont know how to face my parents and how they are going to react the week after next during the parent and teacher meeting day on the Holiday saturday.
I just learnt tha I have school ON the 16th of March, but only in the morning, meaning that it will be terrible I have to rush through everything and all.. that like is going to totally tire me out, FLAT. And im not going to have much fun. I need to acquire a digital camera by the 16th of March for my D&T!! Anyone who can help please contact me ASAP!!
Funny how I can be happy one day and so down the next, but im not exactly down today. Pon NCC canoeing. I just cant find my stuff anymore! After ONE year... oh man.. I really wanted to go but at the end of the day I was just so tired that I totally forgot about it combined with my terrible scores... Oh ya... I JUST passed my E Math.. 21/40 Still a pass but a pathatic pass. I really dont know how ot show my face anymore T_T Feel like a failure even though i have yet to fail a single thing!
I hate mood swings, I mean arent only girls supposed to get this rubbish?! Slacked out in class today... the results have made the sky turn a shade greyer and everythign bleaker. At least Rebecca was there to dim the pain. Im really addicted to that book. Its is awesome like most other books of the type. A book, is like a window into another person's world and life. I can read their thoughts, actions and the way they view people, this window lets me see, without being there. I can imagine from the discriptions the smell of the flowers, the way they beautifully line the walls and the chilly tone of Ms Danver's voice to the new Mrs De Winters and the sound of the rain on the roof of the majectic Manderly (i think i spelt that wrongly) Such words transport me to a world outside my own like I am there, I can feel smell and see through the words what it is like. Thats what I like about reading.
Wasted enough time here, after KickBoxing (which is really just painful existence) my body is aching plus today had PE so my back and arms feel like they we connected to my feet - I was draggin them along all day. Still have sport climbing tomorrow, i hope i can go further than last week :P I wont lose to Dilys!
Quote of e Post:
I said Yea! What a concept I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change...
I just learnt tha I have school ON the 16th of March, but only in the morning, meaning that it will be terrible I have to rush through everything and all.. that like is going to totally tire me out, FLAT. And im not going to have much fun. I need to acquire a digital camera by the 16th of March for my D&T!! Anyone who can help please contact me ASAP!!
Funny how I can be happy one day and so down the next, but im not exactly down today. Pon NCC canoeing. I just cant find my stuff anymore! After ONE year... oh man.. I really wanted to go but at the end of the day I was just so tired that I totally forgot about it combined with my terrible scores... Oh ya... I JUST passed my E Math.. 21/40 Still a pass but a pathatic pass. I really dont know how ot show my face anymore T_T Feel like a failure even though i have yet to fail a single thing!
I hate mood swings, I mean arent only girls supposed to get this rubbish?! Slacked out in class today... the results have made the sky turn a shade greyer and everythign bleaker. At least Rebecca was there to dim the pain. Im really addicted to that book. Its is awesome like most other books of the type. A book, is like a window into another person's world and life. I can read their thoughts, actions and the way they view people, this window lets me see, without being there. I can imagine from the discriptions the smell of the flowers, the way they beautifully line the walls and the chilly tone of Ms Danver's voice to the new Mrs De Winters and the sound of the rain on the roof of the majectic Manderly (i think i spelt that wrongly) Such words transport me to a world outside my own like I am there, I can feel smell and see through the words what it is like. Thats what I like about reading.
Wasted enough time here, after KickBoxing (which is really just painful existence) my body is aching plus today had PE so my back and arms feel like they we connected to my feet - I was draggin them along all day. Still have sport climbing tomorrow, i hope i can go further than last week :P I wont lose to Dilys!
Quote of e Post:
I said Yea! What a concept I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change...
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Update Post!!
Tada! A record!! From Feb 13 till today the 3rd of March, 20 days this Genei Ryodan skin existed but im going to shelve it for abit for my new skin tada! A FFVII skin ^_^ Yea, I recently acquired the game and am abit stuck on it... but i will still put studies under more piority. Ooh I love that game *scratches hands* You might have noticed all I did was replace the old pics but hey... Im not really THAT free to redesign a new skin so maybe some other day ^_^
Really happy today!! The novels our school ordered for us are FINALLY in!! And this time it is not some lame thin thing that I can mop up in an hour but proper books! Five people you meet in Heaven - You can see this in the Straits Times bestseller slot, To kill a mockingbird - if you have now even heard that this book exists... go and kill yourself instead, The Dairy of Anne Frank - same comment as above, Another book i forgot what it is... and my book, Rebecca, its like so cool, it was written years ago but I love it. It's about this girl who get married to this rich man has has to face with living up to the the expectaitons of others in terms of behaviour etc esp in comparison to his dead wife (Rebecca) who is ever-present even though long dead. I cant explain it here.. abit deep and dark but its overall pretty cool ^_^ Happy day!
Another reason to be happy! I got my D&T test results back today. Can anyone shout a Number ONE? can anyone pronounce Top the Class? Oh Yea! But I shared my score with that OTHER guy... my enternal rival! (ok just kidding) so far Im losign out because of Chinese standing at Me: 1xA1 1xA2 1xC6 while he has a 1xA1 1xA2 1xB3 beating my by 3 wretched points because Im no good at chinese Grr... no matter... Ill top him in English ^_^ Another reason to rejoice. Because I have passed Chinese, I most likely am going pass all my common tests.. every single one! ^_^ This week sure has been good... or more like the past two days.
And another! Tomorrow NCC going Canoeing! its been like months since Ive touched the Sea... and my skills are ALL rusty. I dont know If im going or not since it is not compulsory for the part Ds (sec4 who are stepping down in April - May) I think I'll go but risk being late for Cellgroup meeting... hmm what to do?
This is just and update post so im not putting more stuff, ill keep you posted when I have e time bye!
PS. Enjoy the midi! the first person who can name that midi and post it on e tag board will win a special prize ^_^ (ok its abit unfair cos only Joel misght stand a chance...) Forget the prize then ^_^ Guess anyway!
Quote of e post:
Success is a value determined by others but Happiness is a value determinde by yourself
Really happy today!! The novels our school ordered for us are FINALLY in!! And this time it is not some lame thin thing that I can mop up in an hour but proper books! Five people you meet in Heaven - You can see this in the Straits Times bestseller slot, To kill a mockingbird - if you have now even heard that this book exists... go and kill yourself instead, The Dairy of Anne Frank - same comment as above, Another book i forgot what it is... and my book, Rebecca, its like so cool, it was written years ago but I love it. It's about this girl who get married to this rich man has has to face with living up to the the expectaitons of others in terms of behaviour etc esp in comparison to his dead wife (Rebecca) who is ever-present even though long dead. I cant explain it here.. abit deep and dark but its overall pretty cool ^_^ Happy day!
Another reason to be happy! I got my D&T test results back today. Can anyone shout a Number ONE? can anyone pronounce Top the Class? Oh Yea! But I shared my score with that OTHER guy... my enternal rival! (ok just kidding) so far Im losign out because of Chinese standing at Me: 1xA1 1xA2 1xC6 while he has a 1xA1 1xA2 1xB3 beating my by 3 wretched points because Im no good at chinese Grr... no matter... Ill top him in English ^_^ Another reason to rejoice. Because I have passed Chinese, I most likely am going pass all my common tests.. every single one! ^_^ This week sure has been good... or more like the past two days.
And another! Tomorrow NCC going Canoeing! its been like months since Ive touched the Sea... and my skills are ALL rusty. I dont know If im going or not since it is not compulsory for the part Ds (sec4 who are stepping down in April - May) I think I'll go but risk being late for Cellgroup meeting... hmm what to do?
This is just and update post so im not putting more stuff, ill keep you posted when I have e time bye!
PS. Enjoy the midi! the first person who can name that midi and post it on e tag board will win a special prize ^_^ (ok its abit unfair cos only Joel misght stand a chance...) Forget the prize then ^_^ Guess anyway!
Quote of e post:
Success is a value determined by others but Happiness is a value determinde by yourself
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Hyper Tyco King!
Heyz! Today was a great day! ^_^ Not only is it the last day of our Common Tests, but I also got two marks back... the dreaded Chinese and PoA. And I am the HYPER TYCO KING! I just passed my Chinese! 50/100!! And all the study-able parts was like almost blank, out of the possible 36 marks from the first page, I only got 4... I am surprised at how bad that was... But thank God the whole thing managed to pull into a FIFTY!! *jumps and hops and skips*
And for PoA... Somehow with a rather average score of 39/50 seems like I topped the class. Once again, a slight ego boost + motivational push lands me with the realisation that my class is really not putting in any effort... Especially after the events on Monday when the O level results were released. I felt this sickening pit form in my stomach that 2005's 4E is going to be even worse than the previous two years, if they continue on like that.
I really dont mind if you throw paper balls at me, or call me names or sing stupid songs and spread rumors about me. I am just waiting, waiting for everyone to wake up, to notice that I am just not fighting back. A song always blocks out the words, yes, I sing to myself why? So I wont fall asleep. The last 3 / 7 months left until the O levels, if you count carefully that only leaves time for One chapter a day for all subjects. There really is no more time. You may say it is only the start of the year, well it isnt anymore. One quarter has passed, it is MARCH now MARCH. Wake up... Im not a genius nor am I talented... all I do is listen in class and do my homework, Heck I dont even REVISE or spend time to actually STUDY... Which I should begin doing now... or should have began months ago
Woo Hoo! Meeting today, accomplished LOADS and everything for once, finally looks alright. I can realyl feel for the words from the song "The Middle" (remember my last post?) These lines are always comforting to hear -> Everything will be just fine, Everything wil be alright. Those two simple lines are what everyone needs to hear and know with confidence.
Keep and uphold us (the committee) in your prayers! We need time we do not have and are trying hard to settle everything even with all the constraints. So while we do OUR part you must likewise do YOUR part! Invite your friends! Must remember!
Ooh, kick-boxing course in school begins tomorrow ^_^ I hope it is interesting and I really wish I dont get hurt or hurt anyone. Right now, Im just messed over how to get my parents to sign the form... 50 bux lor!! T_T Sian arh!! This world is so reliant on money... sigh. Still playing FF7.. not getting far as Im not investing alot of time in it (Good thing too) I must find a way to concentrate on studying. And a A class way stated by my teacher? Study in groups and spur each other on.. but out of the class... I cant find anyone willing to go into Full "Cram Mode" ok so neither can I. I just want to enjoy the finer things in life... life.. free time, browsing books etc, listening to music, looking at the sky, thinking about things bigger than life, about the past, future and what could have been.
You know, they say, 4E the last express class will follow the previous years and end up a miserable batch every year in end Feburary. Well, Ive got a song for everyone... Kudos to Slyvia for this, good luck in NYJC, keep in touch k? ^_^
Allstar - Smashmouth (relation is brackets)
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me,
(the world out there is going to crush you)
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
(We arent the smartest bunch around)
She was lookin' kinda dumb with her finger in her thumb
and the shape of an L on her forehead......
(They are dumb to call us losers)
[verse 1]
Well the years start comin' and they don't stop comin',
(Time passes, and continues to do so)
back to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'.
(Fall but get up again and carry on)
didn't make sense not to live for fun,
(Why spend your life cramming? no fun)
your brain gets smart,
(You learn stuff outta books and all)
but your head gets dumb.
(But you are not streetwise)
So much to do so much to see,
(There are things you dont see if you take the conventional route)
so whats wrong with takin the backstreets.
you'll never know if you don't go,
you'll never shine if you dont glow...
(Go ahead try your best)
[chorus]
Hey now you're an allstar,
get your game on go play.
Hey now your a rockstar,
get your show on get paid.
And all that glitters is gold.
(Every chance is worth taking)
Only shooting stars break the mold.
(Only those who dare to try enjoy success)
Its a cool place and they say it gets colder,
(You think it's tough now? Wait and see)
you're bundled up now, wait till' ya get older.
(If you are stressed now, wait till later)
But the media man makes the differ' judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is gettin pretty thin,
(Playing around is getting dangerous)
the waters' getting warm so you might as well swim.
(Begin now before it gets out of hand)
My world's on fire,
(I feel motivated)
how about yours?
Thats the way I like it cause i'lll never get bored...
[chorus]
Somebody once asked
If could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place.
(We need to change the way we are now)
I said yep, what a concept,
(Indeed, it never struck us before)
I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change......
(Lets go on together)
[verse 1]
[chorus]
(And all that glitter is gold )
Only shooting stars break the mold,
(And all that glitter is gold)
Only shooting stars break the mold.
-----------------------------------------------
There, hope that motivated all 4E people (those who even CARE my blog exists) to study hard for the coming Os, show them that even though we "aint the sharpest tool in the shed" we can "break the mould" set by the previous years and be a "shooting star" ^_^
Thats all for today, do you really hate me so much? I know I let you down, but you wont even turn up... Give me another shot, your presence is pressurising. Do i really do better without you? But I really cant do without you... The divide is just to wide, why... did I choose to pick up my burden again?
Quote of e Post:
So it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year...
(From the great Friends Theme song - I'll be there for you)
And for PoA... Somehow with a rather average score of 39/50 seems like I topped the class. Once again, a slight ego boost + motivational push lands me with the realisation that my class is really not putting in any effort... Especially after the events on Monday when the O level results were released. I felt this sickening pit form in my stomach that 2005's 4E is going to be even worse than the previous two years, if they continue on like that.
I really dont mind if you throw paper balls at me, or call me names or sing stupid songs and spread rumors about me. I am just waiting, waiting for everyone to wake up, to notice that I am just not fighting back. A song always blocks out the words, yes, I sing to myself why? So I wont fall asleep. The last 3 / 7 months left until the O levels, if you count carefully that only leaves time for One chapter a day for all subjects. There really is no more time. You may say it is only the start of the year, well it isnt anymore. One quarter has passed, it is MARCH now MARCH. Wake up... Im not a genius nor am I talented... all I do is listen in class and do my homework, Heck I dont even REVISE or spend time to actually STUDY... Which I should begin doing now... or should have began months ago
Woo Hoo! Meeting today, accomplished LOADS and everything for once, finally looks alright. I can realyl feel for the words from the song "The Middle" (remember my last post?) These lines are always comforting to hear -> Everything will be just fine, Everything wil be alright. Those two simple lines are what everyone needs to hear and know with confidence.
Keep and uphold us (the committee) in your prayers! We need time we do not have and are trying hard to settle everything even with all the constraints. So while we do OUR part you must likewise do YOUR part! Invite your friends! Must remember!
Ooh, kick-boxing course in school begins tomorrow ^_^ I hope it is interesting and I really wish I dont get hurt or hurt anyone. Right now, Im just messed over how to get my parents to sign the form... 50 bux lor!! T_T Sian arh!! This world is so reliant on money... sigh. Still playing FF7.. not getting far as Im not investing alot of time in it (Good thing too) I must find a way to concentrate on studying. And a A class way stated by my teacher? Study in groups and spur each other on.. but out of the class... I cant find anyone willing to go into Full "Cram Mode" ok so neither can I. I just want to enjoy the finer things in life... life.. free time, browsing books etc, listening to music, looking at the sky, thinking about things bigger than life, about the past, future and what could have been.
You know, they say, 4E the last express class will follow the previous years and end up a miserable batch every year in end Feburary. Well, Ive got a song for everyone... Kudos to Slyvia for this, good luck in NYJC, keep in touch k? ^_^
Allstar - Smashmouth (relation is brackets)
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me,
(the world out there is going to crush you)
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
(We arent the smartest bunch around)
She was lookin' kinda dumb with her finger in her thumb
and the shape of an L on her forehead......
(They are dumb to call us losers)
[verse 1]
Well the years start comin' and they don't stop comin',
(Time passes, and continues to do so)
back to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'.
(Fall but get up again and carry on)
didn't make sense not to live for fun,
(Why spend your life cramming? no fun)
your brain gets smart,
(You learn stuff outta books and all)
but your head gets dumb.
(But you are not streetwise)
So much to do so much to see,
(There are things you dont see if you take the conventional route)
so whats wrong with takin the backstreets.
you'll never know if you don't go,
you'll never shine if you dont glow...
(Go ahead try your best)
[chorus]
Hey now you're an allstar,
get your game on go play.
Hey now your a rockstar,
get your show on get paid.
And all that glitters is gold.
(Every chance is worth taking)
Only shooting stars break the mold.
(Only those who dare to try enjoy success)
Its a cool place and they say it gets colder,
(You think it's tough now? Wait and see)
you're bundled up now, wait till' ya get older.
(If you are stressed now, wait till later)
But the media man makes the differ' judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is gettin pretty thin,
(Playing around is getting dangerous)
the waters' getting warm so you might as well swim.
(Begin now before it gets out of hand)
My world's on fire,
(I feel motivated)
how about yours?
Thats the way I like it cause i'lll never get bored...
[chorus]
Somebody once asked
If could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place.
(We need to change the way we are now)
I said yep, what a concept,
(Indeed, it never struck us before)
I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change......
(Lets go on together)
[verse 1]
[chorus]
(And all that glitter is gold )
Only shooting stars break the mold,
(And all that glitter is gold)
Only shooting stars break the mold.
-----------------------------------------------
There, hope that motivated all 4E people (those who even CARE my blog exists) to study hard for the coming Os, show them that even though we "aint the sharpest tool in the shed" we can "break the mould" set by the previous years and be a "shooting star" ^_^
Thats all for today, do you really hate me so much? I know I let you down, but you wont even turn up... Give me another shot, your presence is pressurising. Do i really do better without you? But I really cant do without you... The divide is just to wide, why... did I choose to pick up my burden again?
Quote of e Post:
So it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year...
(From the great Friends Theme song - I'll be there for you)
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