Shimo Tezawari

So cold, today was a wreck of a day, ok not really a wreck but I have failed to make it into the next rounds of PI (I suppose) It was a fluke, I can blame anyone, can blame everything, from the loud cheering which drowned out the cue for me to begin, to the short intro of my track. But still over all, it is my failure, my loss. No excuses, I would have tried but, no, Im not going to try and appeal, if I dont get it, I dont. Everyone had their one shot, why am I any different?

Stuck on a new song, "Try" by Nelly Furtadao, intresting song haha. The weather lately is getting hotter again, climate changes? Im not sure how long this heatwave will last or if it is even a heatwave but the heat of the sun cannot melt the coldness I sense all around. The world is changng, things are happening and people are afraid you can see it in their eyes, if you stare in them long enough. And when you interact, it kind of rubs off you and you too become colder, harder. Thus, Shimo Tezawari, Frost Touch

Try - Nelly Furtado

All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try

All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And that's you, baby
This is me, baby
And we are, we are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love
------------------------

My house is undergoing renovations at the moment, so I have to wear slippers everywhere on the ground floor. It was fun.. for a while, then it got really irritating for you had to remove them everytime you go upstairs, and I can't stay upstairs / Dont want to because the com is Downstairs. The entire place is covered by a layer of dust and the kitchen being the closest room to the site besides the back toilet looks quite unsafe for cooking / eating in. Is it just me, because I really feel as if the light has gone out of today, the warmth and everything, give me something to live for, anyone, please. Even the computer is lagging (to me that is). Bleak, thats the word. The world looks so bleak today, kind of grey and dull, oh it's already night, I never noticed.

And Im having a stomach ache T_T can this day get any better? Maybe *shrugs* I still have stuff to do anyway... and I still feel bad. Maybe this is the opposite of afterglow from a good performance, its the after-fade and you just feel terrible and distant. Maybe it's my failed math test, or maybe it is because I have yet to complete all my things to do, or maybe its because of the audition. I dont know... I need to get hyped up and fired or I will just die out into an empty shell. Where is all that passion from a few months back? Those flames have been quenched? Maybe it is my new seat, I still dislike it tons and it is almost impossible to concentrate. I don't know.

I prayed before I went up! I remember praying, out loud too but no one bothered thinking i was singing or something (tongues) then I began singing a few short praises. Always and Forever, Big and some others to get my guts together. The feeling of being on stage was not all that bad, looking down on everyone. Enough on that... we wont grow by continually looking back.

It's kind of boring eh? Reading about my miserable life daily. It's late now, school tomorrow, I'll end here, bye.

Quote of e Post:
Running Running as fast as we Can, Do you think We'll Make it?