It is 2:30 am on the 21st of December and I am bored out of my wits. Today was pretty un-eventful. Woke up late, like about 11 am and then did the usual. Went down, went online and had a nice long chat with Dilys... She is a really cool girl. Smart, and wise enough to hide it, you have truly earned my respect. Lots of things transpired within us... so even if it is like super early in the morning now and Im blogging I won't throw out any more obvious things... thanks to Dilys for making me see how obvious my "loop-holes" were. Then she went off and we continued talking via SMS and on e phone, all the way till about 4pm plus... She really is a smooth operator, pleasant voice and a nice head full of good ol' common sense.
Practically squandered the whole day away, and even gave the enemy a knife to stab me with... MSN Beta 7.0 is so helpful, yet the possibilities of it's uses still taunt me. Should I have introduced her to beta 7.0? Most probably she will use e Appear Offline before signing in to do eactly what she has been doing the hard way all these time.. but that also means it will be tons harder to catch her online... in fact it will become impossible to see her online just to talk... *sigh* what an idiot I am.
Funny, today seemed to flow very smoothly even though It was obviously hetic and messy. My mother is sick and is losing her voice, so I had to look after my sister, not that she can't look after herself. Funny, everyone but the usual people seem to be online today throughout the day, but Im not complaining, for even one of the most rarely seen people popped up to chat, for that half an hour or so of conversation, I am happy ^_^
As Christmas draws nearer I am faced with e propect of finding gifts for everyone. I was very effectively reminded of my lateness in doing so by one who offered me a gift. Damn I MUST return that favor. For me, gifts have to be meaningful, a hastily chosen gift with little meaning is worthless... So I tend to spend alot of time on finding gifts. Off the top of my head I can come up with at least 12 people I need to get presents for, or more accurately, 12 people I WANT to get presents for, to show my appreciation and thanks for all the things that they have helped me through.
Equivalent Trade, I have now taken these two words as one of my personal mottos. For there will be nothing gained if you do nothing. How much Am I willing to sacrifice to get what I want? How far will I go? How long can I keep this up before it breaks. Feeling very frustrated and irritated for no particular reason right now... maybe im just tired.
I could really do with some Christmas cheer in my life, which has suddenly turned so dull and bleak. The re-opening of school, the Os, people, expectations... hopes and dreams are all piling up on me, once again I am reminded to give it all to God. I cannot handle this on my own, but I am never alone for the Lord is always with me. I feel a little guilty for I skipped doing my daily devotion a few times this week. Which is important now even more so as I plan to get baptised, I need to set aside time to just talk and communicate with God, it is not the lack of time, it is how I use it. Im remembering Mavis's sharing during Zone Camp, God is never far away, he only SEEMS far away.
Christmas... in the past I never liked christmas alot. It was just another festive season overly encouraged by businesses to maximise sales. But In all the mess, I missed the reason for the season, forgive me Lord, Christmas isn't just another commercial holiday that money hungry shop-keepers can exploit. It is not about the lights, not about the gifts, not about the songs, It IS all about You Lord and your sacrifice for us.... Breaking down now... Im in no more position to blog anymore from this point onwards... maybe later today or tommrrow.
Quote of the Post:
[Got this off a SMS I got... Cute rite? ^_^]
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( ' o', )
(,,)==(,,)=
Missing You...
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