Break-Away

Heyz... feel very sian and lethargic today. First began with maths, yesterday I asked our dear piece of turd when was the test he said next week when it was in fact today!! Didnt study for it, most likely im not going to fail cos most of it was quite basic stuff ^_^ Continued my little quest for english today, with the help of monk and eugene interviewed a few teachers for the article thing. We are writing it tommrrow, cant wait ^_^

D & T again on Thursday!! After getting my 8 ideas torn up I need to find 8 new ideas.. pronto! And also do an Analysis thing... one page. But there's more to thursday than that! Thursday is finally the Camp Comm. 2004 meeting! On the 27th!! Approx two months since the camp... meeting up again ^_^ So excited and happy! Dont know why also... argh.. hope Anna does not pester me about her X'mas present again.. even though I doubt she is that petty... as in the previous times were just jesting... But to put it properly "I cant explain how good it feels to see you here again". On Thursday no less, on Rachel's orders so we can all go Prayer Meeting after that!! Whee.. seeing everyone again! I missed you... i mean all of you! Mm Hmm.. I can get my mind of school and all for just one period of time... One day in the house of God is better then a thousand days in the world, how true! ^_^

School is catchign up again, NCC tommrrow after school. I'll most likely be going but with no uniform and no explaination, I'll probably get railed at again.. Owch but I need that ONE or (Very unlikely) TWO points cut from my O level scores. I dont think I'll ever fufill my role as a photographer in NCC, after all, there is no hint of the "training course" I've heard about and time is running low as the middle of the year draws nearer still... was it just a ploy to draw me back just for attendence? I really dont know...

Today at CME, Miss Shim was talking about being a balanced person and she asked the class who there was a Christian... I saw this awesome chance and put up my hand, to my surprise someone else.. very unlikely person also did the same! The next thing disturbed me the most was that this person next to him began asking him questions and that guy just brushed him off with something like "Our teachings are sacred and private to Christians only" I wanted to jump up and shout at him not only for that but also cos he normally is no shining light!! I mean like OUR religion is not SACRED or PRIVATE! Then MAIN IMPORTANT thing is to SHARE IT WITH OTHERS! Dammnit! How selfish and daft can he get?! Now Im not even sure if he was a real Christian or not.. but that phrase just kicked me in the face!! Argh!!

Breaking away, falling apart. Dont know what keeps me together... I just want to talk to someone. Tell them all my fears and dreams and worries.. someone who will answer back.. someone I can see, someone I know fully well with all the physical evidence in the world exists. I dont know what stress is nor what it feels like but I know im lacking it. I've heard stress motivates us to work hard and all but... what is stress?? Am I stressed? By what??

I just feel like taking many bricks (or any heavy object) and hurling them outwards in a random direction or holding something moderately heavy and swinging it, just swing and trash it around until my arm aches and hurts so bad I cant throw/swing anymore then I'll scream, and I'll shout until I go hoarse and collapse in a sweaty tired heap. I want to stop time, to just lie back and sleep, and rest, close my eyes and forget all the things ive got to do, with no strings attached for just maybe 5 minutes. Thats all i ask, maybe five minutes, lose my sane mind, stop thinking about things and just live. Just look at the animals, they are fully content with a full belly and a warm nest, sometimes I feel my intellect is more of a burden then a gift...

Ha, no point talking about all this rubbish. If you get it, then you do, good for you, if you dont then you'll see ive got some issues up there *taps head* Aiya, im using no names here... logging off now... see you whoever is reading around soon k?

Quote of the Post:
Things Take You To High,
Is Not Only Wings
Bleach! 2125138