Hey!! I have not updated for very long liao, miss me? ^_^ Oh my, I guess mixing with my friend is making me more and more BHB lolx. Anyway, wierd huh? I'm much happier now-a-days... it sure is hard keeping up my angst filled, tormented image. In fact, I think that by spilling how I felt, I actually let the festering wounds heal, the best part? It did not sting one bit, I was surprised how glad I was to get rid of that burden.
This week is National Day week! Meaning a longer weekend! Friday is the 6th and there is still school but there will be NO studying, just going in the morning to see some concert and stuff then collect our annual National Day gift. One year it was hole-punchers, one year it was a file and then the next it was full-scap paper... more and more "cheap-skate" by the year eh? What will it be this year? Tissue? lolx
Then a full solid weekend! Wooh! Things can't get better cos after a full saturday and sunday, it's monday which is also 9th of August, meaning it is a public holiday as in = NO SCHOOL! Super extended weekend is real COOL but it also translates into, "Dear teachers please give us a ton or maybe two of homework to fill up all those empty days, please?" *Sigh* Teachers are good at reading these "INVISIBLE" signs.
Ooh and I figured out how to work my new phone... still haven't set up GPRS but still usable, took some pics. Want a cool tip? You know the situation, you point your camera phone at someone and they shun almost immediately to avoid being taken, they "lag" long enough to notice, but not long enough for your camera to capture the image, how then? Well, I figured that all phone-cams ahaf a reaction time of about half to one seconds from the time you press "capture" till the time it actually takes the pic, so what you do is FIRST press capturea nd then swing it quickly at your target. He/she will notice it and dodge but not before the phone's split second is up and snaps him/her just before they can move. I have tried it out and it works perfectly, managed to get a few pics which even they were puzzled how I managed to take em ^_^ This idea is mainly frm Kenneth from Bishan Park Secondary, I owe you for this man!
I take a long time every time I update my blog. Why? Because I know that no one reads it! With this piece of knowledge in mind I ensure that whenever I write an entry, I'm sure I'm writing to no one in particular. In fact, I seriously don't think there is ANYONE in particular who would read my blog.
Surprising? Hardly, given my reputation (or lack off) Seriously, anyone who stumbles on this humble bit of crap I call a blog. What is wrong with me? Why am I different from others? How can I change? If no one will tell me, how will I know? I have rarely seriously asked these questions but when I do, all I face is silece, more wierd stares and when replied, I get a "childish". Sure, I am really childish, I admit it. That is the consequence of watching too much anime, reading too much manga, not going out more often and not bothering to check out what's hot and what's not. Is it about money? I mean like, most people spend time going to town and go shopping, get a new top, new bag new VCD set blah blah blah. I rarely buy anything, maybe it is beacuse I don't save much but is that really all? I never had any capital to work on and starting from scratch is too tedious for me. So I am a lazy prick, shoot me, stuff me, bake me and then eat me.
I like to read other's blogs especially Cheryl's. Reason? Im not interested or anything but she writes the most decent blog entrys followed by Sylvia's (Even though she too is getting umm... for want of a better word, worse). Her frnak and outright in your face views do sting if directed at you but I can just feel how to say... her aura, her essence in her writing and that is RARE even I sometimes lose myself...
Poor Sec 4s, cramming like insane for all the mock exams and O-levels but take heart and be of good cheer for it is not too long away, this year has only got 4 more months to go after which I will totally lose all contact with them, even though I'm sure they DO NOT WANT to keep in touch. People say that secondary school and NS is where you build the best friends that last you your entire life. Well, guess what? I think I'm going to be a loner for the rest of my life... my social life has always modelled after my acedemic life, a miserable failure. Even though I may be ...I dare not say good as I pale in comparison to many others I am just not worthy to mention, it is only one or two subjects and I need all the points I can get to go where I want! And that itself is not easy either, I know I can't expect life to fall perefectly into my laps but I just can't find the motivation to go on, thus my Blog Heading, What am I fighting for?
I want all my past classmates or people from the same level as me to know that I do not hate you or anything. I never did and never will, in fact I miss you more than you could ever imagine. In fact I loved you all from the bottom of my heart... even though it was a hate/spite relationship... it is no doubt still a relationship compared to nothing at all. I may not so much so as budge when I pass you as we shuffle along our respective lives but deep in the still warm corners of my heart I am crying out for anything, any sign of reconition without a tint of distaste from any of you. I'm not asking to be accpeted, in fact that I find is too far out of my reach to even hope for but I dare to hope for that just a spark of me still exists in your being. This is not self-pity or a plea for companionship... I was just reading evryone's blogs and I realised that everyone needs to have friends... and the memory just wrenches my heart. I dare not ask for a place as your friend but I want to be treated as an equal... as one would treat another person in the same situation.
Guess I have once again written for far too long... I started on this at 12:28 am and it is now what? 1:55am? So yeah... bye all and none
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you?
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