I decided to do away with the date things... they SUCK! And they are boring too ^^ Anyway today is the eve of teachers day. After watching the concert at school I just went straight home. Met Gibson Soh on the way home, NOT a good walking companinon, kept singing stupid gang songs riddled with expletives, good thing I mangaed to drop him halfway... simple minded fool.
Anyway, that concert wasnt too bad but im sorry,... The band... Your "Reason" sucked. First, you forgot your lyrics halfway. Second, You sang out of tune, Third, You SCREECHED! I almost had to cover my ears to stop them from going bust! But I commend your bravery for daring to go up on stage, they may boo you but I dont see them up there doing BETTER! Great job people!
Then there was that performance by the Band of Brothers, Im sad to say their singing was just BAD. Especially that guy in the middle (the guy who always asks the police ppl who make assembly speeches perverted questions). Oh well, I kinda enjoyed.. LAUGHING my ass out listening to them try to belt out those westlife songs. Excellent job to our own Singapore Idol hopeful (even though i can see WHY you didnt make it ...) Try harder next time k? Put Peicai on the MAP!
I JUST realised after typing so much athat my "delete" key is not working.... very uncomfortable and unnatural not to use delete...
Anyway, the malay girls put on a flawless performance, however there is much to be desired from the other two groups... The first group of Girl Guides (I think) were pretty good, they just lacked that bit of practice (ok not that bit, that LOT) and coordination, the two girls at the most outer left and right sides were struggling to keep up, constantly glancing sideways to gain confirmation of thier actions. Also, they dressed kinda unappropriately, hey I bet the councillors were having a great time looking at them "zhao geng" while they twirled and swished on stage. Next is the bomber... I expected so much when Ying Ping first burst out from those pink curtains with her white top and long dual pink coloured skirt looking like a picture taken from some dream holiday travel magazine right off the page looking like a beautiful goddess... ok enough about that basically it was a letdown. First, Genevie should be decked out in the same dress kind as the Fazelah and YP! Second, they had a few co-ordination problems, not as many as the Girl Guides group but more obvious and much much more devastating.
Anyhoo, i think they all have done extremly well considerin that the graduating classes are having their prelims soon and they really really need that time to study. Keep on k? ^_^
Last night, I made "first contact" with you know who... it wasnt too long cos my half-wit father shooed me off to go and do something. We talked about anything the conversation steered us too, but i gave many openings, asking questions. Very scary when I learnt that the Perfect 10 was such a popular radio station amongst our peers... good thing that ONE IMPORTANT dedication was not heard or I would'nt be able to sit here and talk about this now. When I returned later I was surprised to still find em around, then we talked some more, still random stuff... but more personal having set down a sort of foundation to talk about more solid things like likes and dislikes, tastes in music and stuff. Hope that there's more to come, I throughly ejoyed that talk and learned alot from it, hope I can progress but still looks too hard given the circumstances... but at least now, there is HOPE.
Now, im gonna post an apology to anyone who was offended by my previous post, I was abit ruffled that morning and had a bone to pick with someone, not the best of moods so to say, so yeah, Im really sorry. I will not take it down though, after all, it breaks no rules (except my own...)
Ok thats all for now... Just need to take time and plan for the future... wonder how life will turn out however... check out my quote of the post. Cya! ^_^
Quote of the post:
Life is not ruled by luck, and if it is, then I will make MY LUCK. Go and grasp what you want, it will not fall into your handson its own.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Sunday, August 29, 2004
29th August, Sunday
As the weekend draws close to an end, the same heavy feeling of dragging myself to school pulls me in again. Imagine! Even on the last week of school we still have a test going on, not that bad until you count that it is on the last period on FRIDAY!
This coming holidays we have both our english and chinese orals. To prepare myself I've decided from now on I will listen to chinese music when Im on the comp in addition to listening to chinese raido programmes instead oh english ones. Unforturnately this "foreign" language has left me with no idea what songs are nice and what aren't I appreciate anyone who can help! ^_^ Thanks!
Sigh, Recently ive been seeing too many blogs go silent, about a week or so ago I stated that I admire Cheryl (Yes, Cheryl Seah) for updating frequently, but it seems like it has been almost three days and still not a word from her. Guess even machines can break down sometimes, much less people.
Im sick and tired or being sick and tired of complaining about my class. Recently they all boycotted a chemistry test, noycotted as in they displayed thier "class unity" by not taking the test together (even though it was only about 12 people) In the end the VP turned up and stopped the protests. AFter that we had to write a letter to her about what we felt about the incident and to include ALL DETAILS about what happened. I gave brief outline but it ran into two pages long. ^_^ OF course I mentioned no names, This class will be with me till enxt year so I better watch my step.
Im still elated over my getting those As for my CA2... heck I realised (unforturnately) due to alittle chat with Gabriel that if I had made it on to 4I again this year I will have a chance to pass my Os, then again I did not understand too much last year so how could it be? Then thinking back, if I did I wouldnt have all these problems would I? I would stil be able to stick with my batch of people (no matter what happens) and at very least have a familiar bunch around during the Os. MOre importantly I would still be within sights of my various goals in life... now fallen out of reach.
I recently told this guy that I didn't like our current class and that I didn't want to take the OS with a buch or strangers. That REALLY hit his raw spot, he asked me if I thought them as strangers, Big mistake I made there, but I said yes, because I don't know any of them well compared to the people Ive spent my last 3 years with. He was like stunned and immediately ran off to huddle with his friends and whisper secretively. I don't care. They are my stepping stones to success, as much as I can get from this postition. Every subject they give up and every test they fail pushes me up the ranking, nearer to the top. Those blockheads have no idea at all, how stupid, playing their life away on stupid pointless things.
Relationships, Im going to "Shoot" a whole bunch of people like this but I don't care I have many enemies already a few more won't matter will it? BGR, I tel lyou those people are the omst stupid people in the world! Love is blind? NO! THEY ARE BLIND! Love, you use it too often and abuse it... soon it has lost it's meaning and become a common thing. Love is scared and precious. "Modern" times hsa turned love into a mockery, love has become sex and relationships are non-existant, most relationships NOW hold due to the not wanting to hurt the other party's "feelings" or whatever.
I know, I have no right so say all these having not tasted the "sweetness of love" but this is bullsh*t. It is so fake, so artificial, so shallow. The wasted hours, the wasted money, all those can be spent in better ways on better things. "Modern" trends and the mass-media has cheapened love, when I look at those people holding hands and hugging I want to laugh... what a useless waste of time. Go concentrate on your future! This school is not worth tying your life down on! Stabalise yourself before trying to head into such uncharted waters! Love is not all fluffy as you see... no one warned you, no one will, why? They want to keep this, fantasy, this illusion alive! Love is not duty, love is not taking, love ... is not what YOU have imagined.
Upset? Tell me, tag or send me and e-mail, let me see your argument and reson for defending this rubbish.
*panting* I really need to cool down and relax... send me a joke or whatever k? This is the end of this entry. If you managed to read through till here, leave a tag with your views of drop me an e-mail at faust_viii_sf@hotmail.com
Quote of this Post:
How could anything so easy ever be so hard to do? I want to tell you what I'm feeling and to say that... I love you...
This coming holidays we have both our english and chinese orals. To prepare myself I've decided from now on I will listen to chinese music when Im on the comp in addition to listening to chinese raido programmes instead oh english ones. Unforturnately this "foreign" language has left me with no idea what songs are nice and what aren't I appreciate anyone who can help! ^_^ Thanks!
Sigh, Recently ive been seeing too many blogs go silent, about a week or so ago I stated that I admire Cheryl (Yes, Cheryl Seah) for updating frequently, but it seems like it has been almost three days and still not a word from her. Guess even machines can break down sometimes, much less people.
Im sick and tired or being sick and tired of complaining about my class. Recently they all boycotted a chemistry test, noycotted as in they displayed thier "class unity" by not taking the test together (even though it was only about 12 people) In the end the VP turned up and stopped the protests. AFter that we had to write a letter to her about what we felt about the incident and to include ALL DETAILS about what happened. I gave brief outline but it ran into two pages long. ^_^ OF course I mentioned no names, This class will be with me till enxt year so I better watch my step.
Im still elated over my getting those As for my CA2... heck I realised (unforturnately) due to alittle chat with Gabriel that if I had made it on to 4I again this year I will have a chance to pass my Os, then again I did not understand too much last year so how could it be? Then thinking back, if I did I wouldnt have all these problems would I? I would stil be able to stick with my batch of people (no matter what happens) and at very least have a familiar bunch around during the Os. MOre importantly I would still be within sights of my various goals in life... now fallen out of reach.
I recently told this guy that I didn't like our current class and that I didn't want to take the OS with a buch or strangers. That REALLY hit his raw spot, he asked me if I thought them as strangers, Big mistake I made there, but I said yes, because I don't know any of them well compared to the people Ive spent my last 3 years with. He was like stunned and immediately ran off to huddle with his friends and whisper secretively. I don't care. They are my stepping stones to success, as much as I can get from this postition. Every subject they give up and every test they fail pushes me up the ranking, nearer to the top. Those blockheads have no idea at all, how stupid, playing their life away on stupid pointless things.
Relationships, Im going to "Shoot" a whole bunch of people like this but I don't care I have many enemies already a few more won't matter will it? BGR, I tel lyou those people are the omst stupid people in the world! Love is blind? NO! THEY ARE BLIND! Love, you use it too often and abuse it... soon it has lost it's meaning and become a common thing. Love is scared and precious. "Modern" times hsa turned love into a mockery, love has become sex and relationships are non-existant, most relationships NOW hold due to the not wanting to hurt the other party's "feelings" or whatever.
I know, I have no right so say all these having not tasted the "sweetness of love" but this is bullsh*t. It is so fake, so artificial, so shallow. The wasted hours, the wasted money, all those can be spent in better ways on better things. "Modern" trends and the mass-media has cheapened love, when I look at those people holding hands and hugging I want to laugh... what a useless waste of time. Go concentrate on your future! This school is not worth tying your life down on! Stabalise yourself before trying to head into such uncharted waters! Love is not all fluffy as you see... no one warned you, no one will, why? They want to keep this, fantasy, this illusion alive! Love is not duty, love is not taking, love ... is not what YOU have imagined.
Upset? Tell me, tag or send me and e-mail, let me see your argument and reson for defending this rubbish.
*panting* I really need to cool down and relax... send me a joke or whatever k? This is the end of this entry. If you managed to read through till here, leave a tag with your views of drop me an e-mail at faust_viii_sf@hotmail.com
Quote of this Post:
How could anything so easy ever be so hard to do? I want to tell you what I'm feeling and to say that... I love you...
Friday, August 27, 2004
27th August, Friday
Whoopie ^_^ Weekends again! *dances a happy little jig* Bleagh, bloogin once evey two days again... now I can't rememebr if anything worth rememering happened yesterday... OH well onto today's post!
NEW NEWS! Mrs Chan WILL NOT be leaving our class as she said after the one week holidays but in fact she is just going to go off for the enxt two weeks to help mark the N-Level chinese scripts ^^ So while it is TRUE that a new teacher will be coming in after our one week September holidays, it is NOT TRUE that she is leaving us for good this year... im not sure about the next.
Im supre hyper mode today! Whoopie! First the weekends are here and it is only one week more to the holidays! Secondly, out of that one week one day will be taken up for teacher's day! Thirdly a small preview of our CA2 results ahve given me AT LEAST 2 A1s to fall on being english and PoA, the other two subjects I got A1 for is Chemistry and Social Studies however those are combined and Im not too confident about geography, im bery very confident about my physics (boring it may be). With practically 3 A1s under my belt what can go wrong?
Too many things, for one, My chinese is bound to fail this term!! boo hoo (blame me for not doing my holiday homework at the end of last year) and im not too confident about my Math amrks either... Sure I did well in all those class tests and things but something still bugs me, If the math marks were based purely on the class tests... I only did well in the last few, those earlier ones were quite disasterous ^_^
BAD BAD NEWS! We have a new Social Studies teacher! (Nooo! Mr Paul! Don't Leave Us!!) She is called Miss Joy and now we all know the reason why... SHE NEEDS HELL LOT OF IT! Another Indian (not racist) teacher is fine but her face is longer and blacker than a 1000 year cultivated papaya that is rotting. Looking stern and angry all the time no wonder she is called Joy, or the lack of it!
Im wondering what to do on teacher's day this year, cards are quite the waste of money. Even if it is only a dollar or two each, when it all adds up.. to quote Neo from The Matrix series... Woah... You get the picture. So im stuck, last year I too did not give out any teacher's day gifts of any kind because I was ummm.... Busy yea, LAst yearwas a very very busy year for me. But I want to thank the school for letting me have a second chance, after all Dragon competition is very fierce and I, being not quite the agressive and competitive guy will surely be left to eat thier dust. But this year, IM back and I will not fail again, HELL NO. Even Lee Lin is putting in much effort! I saw her buried in a physics 10 year's series just today during recess when ever she is not putting something in her mouth ^_^
Anyhoo, wondering what to do with the one week holidays? Fret not! The school will eat it all up for you ^_^ On wednesday I must go bac k all morning for Chinese Oral, On friday it will be English oral... on the topic of english Oral... IF not for me missing this last year I would be cramming for my Os now, but looking at my last year's performance even if I went up to sec 4 I would fail my Os FLAT so yeah. Im grateful for my second shot.
Im going to be dead in about 3 hours time. (Now is 4:30 pm) I was supposed to do worship TODAY and give the sings to Jean by Tuesday but I totally forgot to do so and I've just compiled it now... Oh boy they will slaughter me with the responsibility speech again... *grabs a bunch of ear plugs* Better get prepared first ^_^
Oh well thats all for this post, loggin off now! and not forgetting...
Quote of the day:
Ever felt like you were dreaming?
Just to find that You're awake?
And the magic that surrounds you,
Can lift you up and Guide your way...
NEW NEWS! Mrs Chan WILL NOT be leaving our class as she said after the one week holidays but in fact she is just going to go off for the enxt two weeks to help mark the N-Level chinese scripts ^^ So while it is TRUE that a new teacher will be coming in after our one week September holidays, it is NOT TRUE that she is leaving us for good this year... im not sure about the next.
Im supre hyper mode today! Whoopie! First the weekends are here and it is only one week more to the holidays! Secondly, out of that one week one day will be taken up for teacher's day! Thirdly a small preview of our CA2 results ahve given me AT LEAST 2 A1s to fall on being english and PoA, the other two subjects I got A1 for is Chemistry and Social Studies however those are combined and Im not too confident about geography, im bery very confident about my physics (boring it may be). With practically 3 A1s under my belt what can go wrong?
Too many things, for one, My chinese is bound to fail this term!! boo hoo (blame me for not doing my holiday homework at the end of last year) and im not too confident about my Math amrks either... Sure I did well in all those class tests and things but something still bugs me, If the math marks were based purely on the class tests... I only did well in the last few, those earlier ones were quite disasterous ^_^
BAD BAD NEWS! We have a new Social Studies teacher! (Nooo! Mr Paul! Don't Leave Us!!) She is called Miss Joy and now we all know the reason why... SHE NEEDS HELL LOT OF IT! Another Indian (not racist) teacher is fine but her face is longer and blacker than a 1000 year cultivated papaya that is rotting. Looking stern and angry all the time no wonder she is called Joy, or the lack of it!
Im wondering what to do on teacher's day this year, cards are quite the waste of money. Even if it is only a dollar or two each, when it all adds up.. to quote Neo from The Matrix series... Woah... You get the picture. So im stuck, last year I too did not give out any teacher's day gifts of any kind because I was ummm.... Busy yea, LAst yearwas a very very busy year for me. But I want to thank the school for letting me have a second chance, after all Dragon competition is very fierce and I, being not quite the agressive and competitive guy will surely be left to eat thier dust. But this year, IM back and I will not fail again, HELL NO. Even Lee Lin is putting in much effort! I saw her buried in a physics 10 year's series just today during recess when ever she is not putting something in her mouth ^_^
Anyhoo, wondering what to do with the one week holidays? Fret not! The school will eat it all up for you ^_^ On wednesday I must go bac k all morning for Chinese Oral, On friday it will be English oral... on the topic of english Oral... IF not for me missing this last year I would be cramming for my Os now, but looking at my last year's performance even if I went up to sec 4 I would fail my Os FLAT so yeah. Im grateful for my second shot.
Im going to be dead in about 3 hours time. (Now is 4:30 pm) I was supposed to do worship TODAY and give the sings to Jean by Tuesday but I totally forgot to do so and I've just compiled it now... Oh boy they will slaughter me with the responsibility speech again... *grabs a bunch of ear plugs* Better get prepared first ^_^
Oh well thats all for this post, loggin off now! and not forgetting...
Quote of the day:
Ever felt like you were dreaming?
Just to find that You're awake?
And the magic that surrounds you,
Can lift you up and Guide your way...
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
25th August, Wednesday
Seems like it has become a habit to blog once every two days, a VERY grave mistake because I will forget whan I did the day before ^_^ That is very bad... Please all who visit please feedback on whatever you can feed-back on especially the layout, say I think my posts are VERY long compared to other people's posts Is it true? Please feedback ok? I thrive on communication.
First up, the surrent body count is rising as class 3E continues it's reign of terror. Today, our class managed to piss out form teacher / chinese teacher Miss Angel Chan off so badly she just went and tore up our class seating plan and duty roster O.O She said she was sick and tired of chasing after us and that we broke her heart. You see, normally during her lesson we are like angels.. ok mortals. But during other classes we are morelike the devil's reincarnation ^^, she didnt believe this so she came up for her lesson a few minutes earlier today and BOOM she sw it. The SHOCKING TRUTH, and from there everything went downhill... You get the picture
SUPER SAD NEWS! SHE DECLARED THAT AFTER THE ONE WEEK SEPTEMBER HOLIDAYS SHE WILL NO LONGER TEACH US ANYMORE, SHE HAS ALSO REQUESTED NOT TO FOLLOW UP OUR CLASS NEXT YEAR! For those who were still stoned in calss this morning, read it again here. So close toth e finals and you chased her away, where is your consceince? (spelling, cx, spelling) Even if you don't care about her leaving care about her leaving JUST BEFORE THE EXAMS!! What if you fail because the new teacher cant settle in time to complete the entire syllabus?
There I go again ranting and raving over what? School work.. I REALLY REALLY need to get a life.. ^_^ maybe its cos im always low on bux... seriously bux is everything to promoting image, you want to go out, you want fashionable clothes, you need the dough, the moolah... you get my point ^^
Im feeling crazy right now, but I cant tihnk of anything else to write (That is logical) Im just tired and sleepy cos it is what? 2 am now lolx... Oh well this is my shortest entry ever, hope you derived some pleasure reading it .. Cya!
Quote for this post:I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
First up, the surrent body count is rising as class 3E continues it's reign of terror. Today, our class managed to piss out form teacher / chinese teacher Miss Angel Chan off so badly she just went and tore up our class seating plan and duty roster O.O She said she was sick and tired of chasing after us and that we broke her heart. You see, normally during her lesson we are like angels.. ok mortals. But during other classes we are morelike the devil's reincarnation ^^, she didnt believe this so she came up for her lesson a few minutes earlier today and BOOM she sw it. The SHOCKING TRUTH, and from there everything went downhill... You get the picture
SUPER SAD NEWS! SHE DECLARED THAT AFTER THE ONE WEEK SEPTEMBER HOLIDAYS SHE WILL NO LONGER TEACH US ANYMORE, SHE HAS ALSO REQUESTED NOT TO FOLLOW UP OUR CLASS NEXT YEAR! For those who were still stoned in calss this morning, read it again here. So close toth e finals and you chased her away, where is your consceince? (spelling, cx, spelling) Even if you don't care about her leaving care about her leaving JUST BEFORE THE EXAMS!! What if you fail because the new teacher cant settle in time to complete the entire syllabus?
There I go again ranting and raving over what? School work.. I REALLY REALLY need to get a life.. ^_^ maybe its cos im always low on bux... seriously bux is everything to promoting image, you want to go out, you want fashionable clothes, you need the dough, the moolah... you get my point ^^
Im feeling crazy right now, but I cant tihnk of anything else to write (That is logical) Im just tired and sleepy cos it is what? 2 am now lolx... Oh well this is my shortest entry ever, hope you derived some pleasure reading it .. Cya!
Quote for this post:I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Sunday, August 22, 2004
22nd August, Sunday
Actually this is supposed to be on Saturday 22/8 but it IS past midnight so it is officially sunday.. yeah. What a lame way to start... lame ol me, lame ol way. The weekend is darn boring, nothing happens, I hear no gossip, I find nothing to criticize, I have too much time on my hands.
I aspire to be like Cheryl... not in all ways but in the way that she practically updates EVERYDAY! If not then maximum of one in two or three days. I wish I chould do that ^_^ Lets start out by wishing all my Ex-Class and Levelmates good luck on your O-Levels. This is an important time of your lives and I will not stand for it if I find anyone accompanying me next year. Our dragon batch seems to be brighter than our later batch, brighter as in more logical with more common sense, I don't know when it started but my mind has started becoming lessa ctive or something... I couldnt spell proportionate (I think it is wrong again -_-) when I wanted to and I was so stunned. What am I to do? I need to invigorate my mind... force myself to think, HARD. I'll find a way ^_^
I don't know, since when, My mind and body have been drifting apart. When something sad or hurtful happens my mind is like an independent body, watching, thinking, "that is not me". Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know maybe it is good, being unable to be hurt anymore.. then again it may just be like a cracking den, holding the torrents back temporarily, giving me a false sense of security. When the dam breaks I will be washed away and finally left high and dry again, all by myself.
I've been trying to hide.. not very successfully but yes Ive been trying to hide that I live in a deep fantasy world. I dream too much, heck I'm dreaming all the time. EVerything from the teacher teaching to the walk home is blanketed in a deep sugary coating that will mask the bitter taste, come to think of it, what can i be hiding from? Without the coating there is no serious issues that I need to bury... there are but the amount is insignificant.
Ive been doing my current favouritehobby, skimming through other peopl's blogs and I foud that many of you people out there don't like bloggers eh? Tell you what, you try not spilling any feelings for what? Two weeks and tell me if you feel like a constipated pig, humans have feeling so they can express them, and blogs are just one of those ways, so blog-bashers, lay off. I think bashing bloggers is your way of letting out your feelings too eh? IT might not be a direct input but you still need to get rid of them, one way or the other.
Boo hoo, Singapore's Lee Jia Wei lost the Olympics semi-finals qualifiers. Our olympic medal dream is not yet over but we would only have a shot at bronze later today at 7pm. IF we clinch it it will be the first medal singapore has won in the olympics since what? 30 odd years ago, a silver by some weight-lifter guy. Poor Jia Wei, She had such an awesome lead, 3 matches to 1 after 4 rounds! nut the pressure must ahve gotten to her, imagine, the moment they heard that she had won yesterday morning and had a shot at joining the semi-finals the STTA (Singapore Table Tennis Association) Head Advisor (i think) and president flew over to Athens to catch the match. The scorw for the last round was 9 - 11 with us being 9 and losing. I did't know North Korea took part in the Olympics... ^_^ Well now I know cos they were the ones who beat us by that little BITTY BIT.
Enough ranting.. whats done cannot be undone, hope we can clinch that bronze medal, it will still be a world-wide achievement to be reconised. Poor Susilo, his olympic dream was borken and now the responsibility lay on his girlfriend's shoulders to get Singapore the glory. Who was that Thai guy anyway? Whatever, I don't care...
I think I've exhausted my topics of discussion today, oh year this is to give full reconition to Cheng Shan An from Sec 4E, 2 long years Man! You have finally been sacked!
I take my hat off to you!
Ending Quote:
You say I'm a dreamer,
We're two of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here, go far far away
But you know that theres no where that I'd rather be than here with you today
I aspire to be like Cheryl... not in all ways but in the way that she practically updates EVERYDAY! If not then maximum of one in two or three days. I wish I chould do that ^_^ Lets start out by wishing all my Ex-Class and Levelmates good luck on your O-Levels. This is an important time of your lives and I will not stand for it if I find anyone accompanying me next year. Our dragon batch seems to be brighter than our later batch, brighter as in more logical with more common sense, I don't know when it started but my mind has started becoming lessa ctive or something... I couldnt spell proportionate (I think it is wrong again -_-) when I wanted to and I was so stunned. What am I to do? I need to invigorate my mind... force myself to think, HARD. I'll find a way ^_^
I don't know, since when, My mind and body have been drifting apart. When something sad or hurtful happens my mind is like an independent body, watching, thinking, "that is not me". Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know maybe it is good, being unable to be hurt anymore.. then again it may just be like a cracking den, holding the torrents back temporarily, giving me a false sense of security. When the dam breaks I will be washed away and finally left high and dry again, all by myself.
I've been trying to hide.. not very successfully but yes Ive been trying to hide that I live in a deep fantasy world. I dream too much, heck I'm dreaming all the time. EVerything from the teacher teaching to the walk home is blanketed in a deep sugary coating that will mask the bitter taste, come to think of it, what can i be hiding from? Without the coating there is no serious issues that I need to bury... there are but the amount is insignificant.
Ive been doing my current favouritehobby, skimming through other peopl's blogs and I foud that many of you people out there don't like bloggers eh? Tell you what, you try not spilling any feelings for what? Two weeks and tell me if you feel like a constipated pig, humans have feeling so they can express them, and blogs are just one of those ways, so blog-bashers, lay off. I think bashing bloggers is your way of letting out your feelings too eh? IT might not be a direct input but you still need to get rid of them, one way or the other.
Boo hoo, Singapore's Lee Jia Wei lost the Olympics semi-finals qualifiers. Our olympic medal dream is not yet over but we would only have a shot at bronze later today at 7pm. IF we clinch it it will be the first medal singapore has won in the olympics since what? 30 odd years ago, a silver by some weight-lifter guy. Poor Jia Wei, She had such an awesome lead, 3 matches to 1 after 4 rounds! nut the pressure must ahve gotten to her, imagine, the moment they heard that she had won yesterday morning and had a shot at joining the semi-finals the STTA (Singapore Table Tennis Association) Head Advisor (i think) and president flew over to Athens to catch the match. The scorw for the last round was 9 - 11 with us being 9 and losing. I did't know North Korea took part in the Olympics... ^_^ Well now I know cos they were the ones who beat us by that little BITTY BIT.
Enough ranting.. whats done cannot be undone, hope we can clinch that bronze medal, it will still be a world-wide achievement to be reconised. Poor Susilo, his olympic dream was borken and now the responsibility lay on his girlfriend's shoulders to get Singapore the glory. Who was that Thai guy anyway? Whatever, I don't care...
I think I've exhausted my topics of discussion today, oh year this is to give full reconition to Cheng Shan An from Sec 4E, 2 long years Man! You have finally been sacked!
I take my hat off to you!
Ending Quote:
You say I'm a dreamer,
We're two of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here, go far far away
But you know that theres no where that I'd rather be than here with you today
Thursday, August 19, 2004
19th August, Thursday
Wahh! Im bored. Again, not that others don't but I get bored more easily than most people do... something about short attention span. Anyway Mr Fong does not believe in that sort of crap.. says it is an excuse made up by lazy people or something... OMG I dont believe I actually remembered those words. I thought I had managed to seal away all my memories of the last [never existed] year -2003- Oh well, sooner or later it wil resurface , no point pressing it down eh?
Today I ran my 2.4km retest. F*** lah, I woke up late so I had to run to the stadium, when I finally got there the people were only registering. Tiredd and breathless, I began my 2.4 retest sure that I would fail. But still if I wanted to finish I had to keep to the 3 rules I set for myself. If you read yesterday's post, you will know what the three are ^_^ Anyways I came in 18th out of all the 44 RED runners and I stil failed! lolx, cos this is a retest run, most of the people were all very sian, sian like and just took their own sweet time. I kept a steady jog all the way so even though I was like the last 10 RED peopel when we first flagged off, over the 6 rounds I waltzed past as the others who ran like crazy berzerkers in the beggining started to feel the toll their little "sprint" had taken on their stamina and soon half the people finished their last two rounds walking.
Anyway I hate it, why ois the only thing I talk about my school life? Oh.. maybe it's because I don't have any other life besides that. I still don't get why those people just don't want to study, what is the draw of going out after school, just hanging around spending money till you find it LATE ENOUGH to scurry home, it makes no sense. Anyway, I was invited to go play a round of Pool after school today but I turned it down. I thought we had chemistry remedial but turns out we didn't, even if I knew, I would'nt have gone. Lets just say I'm not good ant MANY THINGS. Either that or I have no experience trying it out so I don't want to make a fool out of myself, but even the best player of any game had to begin somewhere right? Being slow to learn new things is not a crime but being a spoiler who does not like to participate is. And I'm GUILTY.
Oh well, before you ask any more funny questions anything having to do with heights, jumping, rollong, tumbling or *heaven forbid* touching THINGS, please count me out. Im a real coward if you ever saw one. Hey yo know what? Maybe if you asked hard enough with more persuasion I might summon up some dutch courage and try... only to get cold feet at the last minute and whimper in surprise at how I ended up in this state ^^
Im kind of glad. I made a new friend this morning... or LATE last night. Talking on a message board I met this gal and we exchanged e-mail. Chatted on MSN Msgr... seems like in London they also take O levels but it GCSE or something and like in our 10 years series, they take all thier papers in June, and it is also marked by cambridge. They are currently awaiting their results now. It is rare I get a new person to talk to or even anyone to talk to she's really friendly and witty. People there slang alot, first time we started talking she called me this wicked asian guy... XX .. wicked? In a good way it seems, learnt abit about life there and how it differs... like I mentioned above, no matter how hard I try, every conversation will steer itself back to school work.
Maybe because it's the only thing im "good" at? Nah... Talking to people studying in the US was very how do you say.. exciting? Their school is very different from ours and when I told him what subjects im taking he was like.. huh? Totally blurred out... I want to go see how life is there but he is very sure he will jump at the first chance to leave the states. The people DO not support Bush... seems like it was Bush's father who pulled a few strings with his rich friends that got him that post. Truth or lie? They beliebe in it with thier lives that George Bush is a guy who talks too much, spends too much and does too little (unless you count making trouble doing something -_-)
"Meeting" people from all over the world is fun but straining... for the psat few nights i slept at 4am only to be roused at 6am to begin my trek towards another draining schoolday... hope I can hold out till the weekends.
This is just a warning to people who "right-click" proof thier sites... it is USELESS... if you bother to go to the top of your internet window and hover over view. Click on "Source" and you will be able to see practically everything... well this only works on sites who are stupid enough to post everything on one html sheet so.. try! It works on most blogs ^_^
From now on instead of my usual goodbye paragraph of crap I will be posting a quote, extract from a song or whatever catches my fancy.
War is not about who's RIGHT, it's about who's LEFT
Today I ran my 2.4km retest. F*** lah, I woke up late so I had to run to the stadium, when I finally got there the people were only registering. Tiredd and breathless, I began my 2.4 retest sure that I would fail. But still if I wanted to finish I had to keep to the 3 rules I set for myself. If you read yesterday's post, you will know what the three are ^_^ Anyways I came in 18th out of all the 44 RED runners and I stil failed! lolx, cos this is a retest run, most of the people were all very sian, sian like and just took their own sweet time. I kept a steady jog all the way so even though I was like the last 10 RED peopel when we first flagged off, over the 6 rounds I waltzed past as the others who ran like crazy berzerkers in the beggining started to feel the toll their little "sprint" had taken on their stamina and soon half the people finished their last two rounds walking.
Anyway I hate it, why ois the only thing I talk about my school life? Oh.. maybe it's because I don't have any other life besides that. I still don't get why those people just don't want to study, what is the draw of going out after school, just hanging around spending money till you find it LATE ENOUGH to scurry home, it makes no sense. Anyway, I was invited to go play a round of Pool after school today but I turned it down. I thought we had chemistry remedial but turns out we didn't, even if I knew, I would'nt have gone. Lets just say I'm not good ant MANY THINGS. Either that or I have no experience trying it out so I don't want to make a fool out of myself, but even the best player of any game had to begin somewhere right? Being slow to learn new things is not a crime but being a spoiler who does not like to participate is. And I'm GUILTY.
Oh well, before you ask any more funny questions anything having to do with heights, jumping, rollong, tumbling or *heaven forbid* touching THINGS, please count me out. Im a real coward if you ever saw one. Hey yo know what? Maybe if you asked hard enough with more persuasion I might summon up some dutch courage and try... only to get cold feet at the last minute and whimper in surprise at how I ended up in this state ^^
Im kind of glad. I made a new friend this morning... or LATE last night. Talking on a message board I met this gal and we exchanged e-mail. Chatted on MSN Msgr... seems like in London they also take O levels but it GCSE or something and like in our 10 years series, they take all thier papers in June, and it is also marked by cambridge. They are currently awaiting their results now. It is rare I get a new person to talk to or even anyone to talk to she's really friendly and witty. People there slang alot, first time we started talking she called me this wicked asian guy... XX .. wicked? In a good way it seems, learnt abit about life there and how it differs... like I mentioned above, no matter how hard I try, every conversation will steer itself back to school work.
Maybe because it's the only thing im "good" at? Nah... Talking to people studying in the US was very how do you say.. exciting? Their school is very different from ours and when I told him what subjects im taking he was like.. huh? Totally blurred out... I want to go see how life is there but he is very sure he will jump at the first chance to leave the states. The people DO not support Bush... seems like it was Bush's father who pulled a few strings with his rich friends that got him that post. Truth or lie? They beliebe in it with thier lives that George Bush is a guy who talks too much, spends too much and does too little (unless you count making trouble doing something -_-)
"Meeting" people from all over the world is fun but straining... for the psat few nights i slept at 4am only to be roused at 6am to begin my trek towards another draining schoolday... hope I can hold out till the weekends.
This is just a warning to people who "right-click" proof thier sites... it is USELESS... if you bother to go to the top of your internet window and hover over view. Click on "Source" and you will be able to see practically everything... well this only works on sites who are stupid enough to post everything on one html sheet so.. try! It works on most blogs ^_^
From now on instead of my usual goodbye paragraph of crap I will be posting a quote, extract from a song or whatever catches my fancy.
War is not about who's RIGHT, it's about who's LEFT
18th August, Wednesday
It's been REALLY long since i've made an entry, 7 days to be exact, ONE WHOLE week! I don't kow how but seeing this un-updated blog makes me feel sort of empty inside like the feeling that I've been slacking and not doing things porperly.. I hate that feeling and I had it the whole of last year.
Lets move back 1 whole week... from the 12th or August... Lemme see oh yeah! On the 12th was our class 2.4km (Actually was much earlier but on that day it rained so it was posponed to the 12th) I failed (As per usual) but with a much better time, all I did was follow three simple steps. First always look forward and upwards, never look back, never look down, Second, Dont talk, to anyone for any reason unless it is totally necessary, not even to count (Count in your head just think of nothing else except the round), and lsat, empty your mind and just put one foot in front of the other, dont even care how tired you are, as long as you keep your pace and put one foot in front of the other you will move forward ^_^ Life is like that sometimes. Ever felt like giving up? Dont! Just keep moving on, forward is the only way to go.
Funny thing after school re-opened it was sooo stupid. Many of the teachers were absent so we had like relief half the time and the class was making all sorts of noise and fighting, throwing stuff around challenging the teachers to fight them -_- Stupid bunch of idiots. To think this lasted for a week! Im not being a goody two shoes or anything im just worried about our syllabus, at this rate we will never finish. Imagine, two weeks and we have not moved an inch cos the teacher was too incensed to continue and still they played and made noise!
Mrs Datta is very evil. Sure I may not get into trouble with her but she is really evil, when choosing assignments to take the marks for CA2 she took those work that FEW perople handed in and said it was thier fault that they didn't do their homework. I know you need to punish the slackers but this is too much... She is trying to make them FAIL! To fail CA2 will directly affect your final marks! This will ruin their entire year!
Im feeling odd again now. I was just looking through my first semester books and one of them was my CME bk 3A. In it there was a piece of paper on which you were supposed to write your assests down and people will write what they think your assets are. One of them wrote "I like your brain" this got me thinking. Am I just a giant brain? Is it the only thing worth bothering about me? Once again my value in the class is shaken. Im not as perfect as I seem. I sleep in class ALOT! When I say ALOT i mean ALOT too much in fact...
On one hand I am glad that I have been given another year to atone for my mistakes but yet I feel a deep pang of regret on not being able to take the Os with people I know well. When I expressed this to one of my clssmates he just freaked and asked me, " You mean we are not "sou" ah ?" This is a relly a difficulr question because in my answer I used the words "mo shen ren" meaning strangers... im sure he was put in a spot too, when can I stop fighting?
I hate this... my life in this school is one big maze, along the way I solve clues, along the way I fall into traps and sometimes... i meet other people and I don't know what to do, they are either already huddling together finding a way out or they are in small clusters making their way around confidently and there I stand looking alone, in the shadows. Even after I have stopped running, still i realised that i have run too far for anyone to catch up or even bother to see where ive gone... there there I go again.
Why?! Why am I subjected to this difference? What am I lacking? This is the question I constantly ask myself. Is it the money? I know I dont have dough to spread. OR is it the looks? Im overweight and my face looks like the side of the moon. I know Im not exactly easy on the eyes eh? Dressing maybe? But we are all in uniform... my speech? Or maybe it was a mistake to try in the first place... But I learnt for sure that EVERYONE needs friends and partners to survive and at this rate I wont be surviving much ^^
Trust me to laugh at this sort of time.. oh well I have 2.4 retest tommrrow morning and I seriously don't want to take it. What for? Ive already failed my NAFA anyway...
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you?
Lets move back 1 whole week... from the 12th or August... Lemme see oh yeah! On the 12th was our class 2.4km (Actually was much earlier but on that day it rained so it was posponed to the 12th) I failed (As per usual) but with a much better time, all I did was follow three simple steps. First always look forward and upwards, never look back, never look down, Second, Dont talk, to anyone for any reason unless it is totally necessary, not even to count (Count in your head just think of nothing else except the round), and lsat, empty your mind and just put one foot in front of the other, dont even care how tired you are, as long as you keep your pace and put one foot in front of the other you will move forward ^_^ Life is like that sometimes. Ever felt like giving up? Dont! Just keep moving on, forward is the only way to go.
Funny thing after school re-opened it was sooo stupid. Many of the teachers were absent so we had like relief half the time and the class was making all sorts of noise and fighting, throwing stuff around challenging the teachers to fight them -_- Stupid bunch of idiots. To think this lasted for a week! Im not being a goody two shoes or anything im just worried about our syllabus, at this rate we will never finish. Imagine, two weeks and we have not moved an inch cos the teacher was too incensed to continue and still they played and made noise!
Mrs Datta is very evil. Sure I may not get into trouble with her but she is really evil, when choosing assignments to take the marks for CA2 she took those work that FEW perople handed in and said it was thier fault that they didn't do their homework. I know you need to punish the slackers but this is too much... She is trying to make them FAIL! To fail CA2 will directly affect your final marks! This will ruin their entire year!
Im feeling odd again now. I was just looking through my first semester books and one of them was my CME bk 3A. In it there was a piece of paper on which you were supposed to write your assests down and people will write what they think your assets are. One of them wrote "I like your brain" this got me thinking. Am I just a giant brain? Is it the only thing worth bothering about me? Once again my value in the class is shaken. Im not as perfect as I seem. I sleep in class ALOT! When I say ALOT i mean ALOT too much in fact...
On one hand I am glad that I have been given another year to atone for my mistakes but yet I feel a deep pang of regret on not being able to take the Os with people I know well. When I expressed this to one of my clssmates he just freaked and asked me, " You mean we are not "sou" ah ?" This is a relly a difficulr question because in my answer I used the words "mo shen ren" meaning strangers... im sure he was put in a spot too, when can I stop fighting?
I hate this... my life in this school is one big maze, along the way I solve clues, along the way I fall into traps and sometimes... i meet other people and I don't know what to do, they are either already huddling together finding a way out or they are in small clusters making their way around confidently and there I stand looking alone, in the shadows. Even after I have stopped running, still i realised that i have run too far for anyone to catch up or even bother to see where ive gone... there there I go again.
Why?! Why am I subjected to this difference? What am I lacking? This is the question I constantly ask myself. Is it the money? I know I dont have dough to spread. OR is it the looks? Im overweight and my face looks like the side of the moon. I know Im not exactly easy on the eyes eh? Dressing maybe? But we are all in uniform... my speech? Or maybe it was a mistake to try in the first place... But I learnt for sure that EVERYONE needs friends and partners to survive and at this rate I wont be surviving much ^^
Trust me to laugh at this sort of time.. oh well I have 2.4 retest tommrrow morning and I seriously don't want to take it. What for? Ive already failed my NAFA anyway...
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you?
Thursday, August 12, 2004
11th August, Wednesday
Oh my... I have not updated for soooooo.... long. 4 days, Oh well at least this way I will have plenty to write about ^_^ This was a very depressing week, yet uplifting, conflicting? You bet!
School re-opened today after the extended weekend. Thank goodnes I have finished bulk of my homework so no teacher has any reason to get on my case. Bad news, I just found out that Mr Maxx (one x or two?) our school librarian passed away on Monday. I don't have any relation with him or anything, in fact I don't even know him but the rest of the school is cracking up. Even though I do not know him, when someone dies it should be natural to feel sad but I didn't. It was just like any other announcement during assembly before we return to class to begin lessons. I was not a bit sad or updet, heck, I don't even feel guilty. Although I volunteered to go for the funeral this afternoon I didn't turn up. Why care for someone I know nuts about? I know this sounds really selfish and mean but even if I went you cannot expet me to force a pained look of loss right? To me, death is just a part and parcel of life, if he dies just let him go I say.
Moving on, the extended weekend was one of the wierdest weekends I've lived through. On monday, something miraculous happened, ok not one thing, two things! First, my dad actually allowed me to go out on National Day when he was home. Next, when asked he allowed me to stay out late!! (I returned home at around 11:30pm) Final surprise was that he did not so much so as complain!
Upon invitation, i had gone with Shan An, his Sis, Andy and one of Csa's neighbours. We went to Wild, Wild, Wet and I was surprised to find that the rides there were not a bit scary, in fact they were very short and slow so much so it was a bit boring. The most interesting I did was walk against the strong currents at the "Lazy Pool" thingy. Oh, the whole place is SOOOOO much smaller than Fantasy Island and SOOOOO much worse. Oh well, what's gone is gone, never to be regained.
We spent the whole day there (majority on queueing) after that we went for dinner at Mirina Bay (It is like this wide open space with a few lines of restaurants and shops across the road at the edge) The offer sounded too good to be true! $10 per person free flow of Barbecue and Steamboad ingredients, free chilli crab + cooked food and if you went in pax of 5 or more you got a free small bottle of non-alcoholic champagne, the store boasted excellent view of the fireworks. Too good to be true? Not at all, it was just as advertised... I made a few new friends that night... for one i met Shan An's nighbour. He is a magician and OMG is he good... no matter how many times I see his tricks it still leaves me dazzled and asking for more.
On tuesday I used whatever remaining cash I had left to go out with Matthias (Lets just call him matt) We went to J8 to catch a movie and somehow ended up catching two! (Making both of us broke!) First we watched The Village.... I tell you if I ever see M. Night Shamalan I will rip his shamy hide out and tie it around his night! It was NOT a horror movie... Heck it was more romance than horror. I'm not gonna give any spoilers away but just a word of caution, your money can be put to better use and do not expect anything scary. Second movie we watched was I, Robot oh myy... compared to The Village it was sooo good! even though it got bad reviews from the papers and stuff it was real nice. What if one day we actually develop these things? You can be sure I will have my doubts about hiring one ^_^
Oh well, I have more to write but I've forgotten what about -_- E-mail me at faust_viii_sf@hotmail.com if you want to know FULL SPOILERS about The Village or T, Robot k?
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you
School re-opened today after the extended weekend. Thank goodnes I have finished bulk of my homework so no teacher has any reason to get on my case. Bad news, I just found out that Mr Maxx (one x or two?) our school librarian passed away on Monday. I don't have any relation with him or anything, in fact I don't even know him but the rest of the school is cracking up. Even though I do not know him, when someone dies it should be natural to feel sad but I didn't. It was just like any other announcement during assembly before we return to class to begin lessons. I was not a bit sad or updet, heck, I don't even feel guilty. Although I volunteered to go for the funeral this afternoon I didn't turn up. Why care for someone I know nuts about? I know this sounds really selfish and mean but even if I went you cannot expet me to force a pained look of loss right? To me, death is just a part and parcel of life, if he dies just let him go I say.
Moving on, the extended weekend was one of the wierdest weekends I've lived through. On monday, something miraculous happened, ok not one thing, two things! First, my dad actually allowed me to go out on National Day when he was home. Next, when asked he allowed me to stay out late!! (I returned home at around 11:30pm) Final surprise was that he did not so much so as complain!
Upon invitation, i had gone with Shan An, his Sis, Andy and one of Csa's neighbours. We went to Wild, Wild, Wet and I was surprised to find that the rides there were not a bit scary, in fact they were very short and slow so much so it was a bit boring. The most interesting I did was walk against the strong currents at the "Lazy Pool" thingy. Oh, the whole place is SOOOOO much smaller than Fantasy Island and SOOOOO much worse. Oh well, what's gone is gone, never to be regained.
We spent the whole day there (majority on queueing) after that we went for dinner at Mirina Bay (It is like this wide open space with a few lines of restaurants and shops across the road at the edge) The offer sounded too good to be true! $10 per person free flow of Barbecue and Steamboad ingredients, free chilli crab + cooked food and if you went in pax of 5 or more you got a free small bottle of non-alcoholic champagne, the store boasted excellent view of the fireworks. Too good to be true? Not at all, it was just as advertised... I made a few new friends that night... for one i met Shan An's nighbour. He is a magician and OMG is he good... no matter how many times I see his tricks it still leaves me dazzled and asking for more.
On tuesday I used whatever remaining cash I had left to go out with Matthias (Lets just call him matt) We went to J8 to catch a movie and somehow ended up catching two! (Making both of us broke!) First we watched The Village.... I tell you if I ever see M. Night Shamalan I will rip his shamy hide out and tie it around his night! It was NOT a horror movie... Heck it was more romance than horror. I'm not gonna give any spoilers away but just a word of caution, your money can be put to better use and do not expect anything scary. Second movie we watched was I, Robot oh myy... compared to The Village it was sooo good! even though it got bad reviews from the papers and stuff it was real nice. What if one day we actually develop these things? You can be sure I will have my doubts about hiring one ^_^
Oh well, I have more to write but I've forgotten what about -_- E-mail me at faust_viii_sf@hotmail.com if you want to know FULL SPOILERS about The Village or T, Robot k?
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you
Saturday, August 07, 2004
7th August, Saturday
Bleargh... Why me? Why my class? Our overly "participative" monitor (Thanks Nick!) actually volunteered for our class to go onstage during our school's own National Day celebration for community singing and guess what the class did? They AGREED! They didn't seem to full of gusto today when we were all ushered upstage to take part. Thank goodness I managed to find a place behind the choir half hidden by the curtains, actually I don't mind singing, I LOVE to sing! I'm considering joining if the school decides to hold a singing competition for English Week next year. ^_^
Anyways... I'm just glad that the week has ended and an extended weekend lies ahead of me. I but I'm sure I will really miss school, not that I bask in the "glorious" presence of my classmates but it is just that the free time feels so... wasted. I've been thinking, in what way do I fail to others? So I don't get out too often and I dont have all the cash in the world to splurge on meals and clothes like them but... I too am human, so I do not enjoy chinese music, I can't tell one boy band from another and I don't hit the night scene... ok so that is quite a difference -_-'
Music speaks louder to me than anything ever will... the words will just flow and penetrate the shields and barriers I've erected. Talking about shields... They have just melted. Huh? Yeah, the walls have fallen, the running has stopped, the barriers are broken and the shields disabled. I'm looking for friends, anyone? I know this is bland promotion and I may seem shameless but like ive stated before, I need allies... I'm just too weak...
On the topic of weakness, I took my NAFA test recently and OH boy... am I in EXCELLENT shape. I have already failed no doubt about that for I can never pass my 2.4km run... aside from that I cannot do any pull-ups... Ive got the strength but Im too heavy urgh... my weight also does not help when it comes to standing broad jump... lolx I will not post any results for fear of ridicule.
I don't know why but I haven't found anything to writeabout recently... thats odd... I will kill myself if I ever lose my touch for English and writing for thats the only hope I can hang onto in academic terms but move the topic to chinese or sometimes math and I will sorta space out... cos.. I SUCK AT CHINESE AND I HAVE VIRTUALLY NO PORBLEM SOLVING SKILLS... sorry about shouting like that.
So yeah... thats all for today... short isn't it? It think it is my shortest post ever.
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you?
Anyways... I'm just glad that the week has ended and an extended weekend lies ahead of me. I but I'm sure I will really miss school, not that I bask in the "glorious" presence of my classmates but it is just that the free time feels so... wasted. I've been thinking, in what way do I fail to others? So I don't get out too often and I dont have all the cash in the world to splurge on meals and clothes like them but... I too am human, so I do not enjoy chinese music, I can't tell one boy band from another and I don't hit the night scene... ok so that is quite a difference -_-'
Music speaks louder to me than anything ever will... the words will just flow and penetrate the shields and barriers I've erected. Talking about shields... They have just melted. Huh? Yeah, the walls have fallen, the running has stopped, the barriers are broken and the shields disabled. I'm looking for friends, anyone? I know this is bland promotion and I may seem shameless but like ive stated before, I need allies... I'm just too weak...
On the topic of weakness, I took my NAFA test recently and OH boy... am I in EXCELLENT shape. I have already failed no doubt about that for I can never pass my 2.4km run... aside from that I cannot do any pull-ups... Ive got the strength but Im too heavy urgh... my weight also does not help when it comes to standing broad jump... lolx I will not post any results for fear of ridicule.
I don't know why but I haven't found anything to writeabout recently... thats odd... I will kill myself if I ever lose my touch for English and writing for thats the only hope I can hang onto in academic terms but move the topic to chinese or sometimes math and I will sorta space out... cos.. I SUCK AT CHINESE AND I HAVE VIRTUALLY NO PORBLEM SOLVING SKILLS... sorry about shouting like that.
So yeah... thats all for today... short isn't it? It think it is my shortest post ever.
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you?
Thursday, August 05, 2004
6th August, Friday
1:00 AM!! Wooh, only about 6 more hours before the festivities begin! My 5 day holiday has already started 1 hour ago. Damn why am I always posting at the unearthly hours of the night / morning? I dunno, huess I've gotten used to it Tee Hee ^_^ Lalalalalal recently I've been feeling more.. I dunno bold? Crazy? Like mostly when I sleep in class a very entertaiing and interesting way to wake me up is a simple shower of paper bullets. (They are like so childish... paper bullets?) Just I think this morning I was dozing again (I really should try to stop that but the lessons are just so boring.. exp Physics, don't get me started there) and I was rudely awakened by the sharp sting of a paper bullet pelting my ear. As soon as I got my bearings back I threw a bottle (Plastic mineral water bottle... empty Thank God!) at the culprit, followed by a sharp, "So you like stuff flying around eh?" Before he got the message and backed down. Oookkk that was harsher than I expected it to go. Anyway back to the main story!
6 more hours to our school's National Day celebrations WOOT!! So excited I just can't sleep, its not that im patriotic or anything but it is rare that ONE public holiday can turn into a 5 day break! It's like umm.. can't describe it too happy that I can't think of vocabulary to use for this time's entry so expect simple words (At least spell-checking comes naturally to me) When I hear a ND song.. something strange will well up in my heart... like a sort of groping sadness, and when I embrace it, I suddenly find myself singing along tears in my eyes letting the lyrics just sink in.. so simple yet so deeply rooted thier meaning... Never knew song-writing would be so hard.
Anyway I was listening to the radio when I came across avery old song that had an effect on me that nothing had had for a long time. It made me sad, lonely, depressed and so distant. It was Graduation Day, Friends Forever by Vitamin C... the lyrics just hit me so hard I almost bent over. The pain returns swiftly as I recall the incident. Too painful, those lyrics were sharper than any blade everf roged and cut deeper than any laser ever will. As we go on, We remember, All the times we, Had together, And as our lives change, Come Whatever, We will still be, Friends Forever... Because of my lack of friends, and my multitudes of buried memories the pain was intensified a thousand fold. THank goodness my mother was out it would be disasterous to think what might happen if I was just surfing the net when I suddenly went all teary and had to go grab a handful of tissues ending up tearing up the stairs to my room to the familiar comfort of my bed.
I'm very weak right? Thats why I finally realised I need friends, allies... I was fighting a war with the wrong way facing the frontline, I was running as I knew I could not prevail alone. But withfriends... allies... I can now stand my ground, Fight, win some lose some break even or even rarely, take land and cover more ground. IT's a hard fight but hey why call it a fight if you don't fight? Anyone up for a challenge?
School has been really cool this week you don't know how fun it has been, half aleart, half slacking knowing all the answers at the flick of a wrist drawing it from memory. Heck the teachers don't even know I have lost my Chemistry and Physics testbooks since just before the mid-years, In fact I don't think they will notice after all, this guy who keeps pooping up at the top 5 in the class can't be a total slacker... or so they think. For now, I'll just do things from memory until I have saved enough dough to get a new set... Heck I got an idea, why don't you get them for me for like my birthday or something! (Unforturnately for me my birthay falls in mid-October, yep, EXAM period damn crazy)
Very upset, for the last test I expected to get 1st position but was toppled by a certain friend of mine whom I know is putting in like what? 280 times more effort than I am in studying but the worst blow was that I did not een scrape second, I got third! Second went to this guy who usually never passes anything... I was like .. WTH? FLARE! (A joke you will understand if you read the Mirrodin series...) Anyway... coping now, it's not bad... but I can't afford to fail this year ... get it?
Now trying to get some reading done on advice of our english teacher but I don't have anything new to read! Most of my books I will reread many many times because I find that everytime I reread a book I will find something that did not seem to exist there before... how interesting.
Oh heck, guess thats all I have left to say for now, the excitement is beggining to wear off (about time too!) and I'm feeling a little peckish, go grab a bite now see ya!
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you?
6 more hours to our school's National Day celebrations WOOT!! So excited I just can't sleep, its not that im patriotic or anything but it is rare that ONE public holiday can turn into a 5 day break! It's like umm.. can't describe it too happy that I can't think of vocabulary to use for this time's entry so expect simple words (At least spell-checking comes naturally to me) When I hear a ND song.. something strange will well up in my heart... like a sort of groping sadness, and when I embrace it, I suddenly find myself singing along tears in my eyes letting the lyrics just sink in.. so simple yet so deeply rooted thier meaning... Never knew song-writing would be so hard.
Anyway I was listening to the radio when I came across avery old song that had an effect on me that nothing had had for a long time. It made me sad, lonely, depressed and so distant. It was Graduation Day, Friends Forever by Vitamin C... the lyrics just hit me so hard I almost bent over. The pain returns swiftly as I recall the incident. Too painful, those lyrics were sharper than any blade everf roged and cut deeper than any laser ever will. As we go on, We remember, All the times we, Had together, And as our lives change, Come Whatever, We will still be, Friends Forever... Because of my lack of friends, and my multitudes of buried memories the pain was intensified a thousand fold. THank goodness my mother was out it would be disasterous to think what might happen if I was just surfing the net when I suddenly went all teary and had to go grab a handful of tissues ending up tearing up the stairs to my room to the familiar comfort of my bed.
I'm very weak right? Thats why I finally realised I need friends, allies... I was fighting a war with the wrong way facing the frontline, I was running as I knew I could not prevail alone. But withfriends... allies... I can now stand my ground, Fight, win some lose some break even or even rarely, take land and cover more ground. IT's a hard fight but hey why call it a fight if you don't fight? Anyone up for a challenge?
School has been really cool this week you don't know how fun it has been, half aleart, half slacking knowing all the answers at the flick of a wrist drawing it from memory. Heck the teachers don't even know I have lost my Chemistry and Physics testbooks since just before the mid-years, In fact I don't think they will notice after all, this guy who keeps pooping up at the top 5 in the class can't be a total slacker... or so they think. For now, I'll just do things from memory until I have saved enough dough to get a new set... Heck I got an idea, why don't you get them for me for like my birthday or something! (Unforturnately for me my birthay falls in mid-October, yep, EXAM period damn crazy)
Very upset, for the last test I expected to get 1st position but was toppled by a certain friend of mine whom I know is putting in like what? 280 times more effort than I am in studying but the worst blow was that I did not een scrape second, I got third! Second went to this guy who usually never passes anything... I was like .. WTH? FLARE! (A joke you will understand if you read the Mirrodin series...) Anyway... coping now, it's not bad... but I can't afford to fail this year ... get it?
Now trying to get some reading done on advice of our english teacher but I don't have anything new to read! Most of my books I will reread many many times because I find that everytime I reread a book I will find something that did not seem to exist there before... how interesting.
Oh heck, guess thats all I have left to say for now, the excitement is beggining to wear off (about time too!) and I'm feeling a little peckish, go grab a bite now see ya!
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you?
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
3rd August, Tuesday
Hey!! I have not updated for very long liao, miss me? ^_^ Oh my, I guess mixing with my friend is making me more and more BHB lolx. Anyway, wierd huh? I'm much happier now-a-days... it sure is hard keeping up my angst filled, tormented image. In fact, I think that by spilling how I felt, I actually let the festering wounds heal, the best part? It did not sting one bit, I was surprised how glad I was to get rid of that burden.
This week is National Day week! Meaning a longer weekend! Friday is the 6th and there is still school but there will be NO studying, just going in the morning to see some concert and stuff then collect our annual National Day gift. One year it was hole-punchers, one year it was a file and then the next it was full-scap paper... more and more "cheap-skate" by the year eh? What will it be this year? Tissue? lolx
Then a full solid weekend! Wooh! Things can't get better cos after a full saturday and sunday, it's monday which is also 9th of August, meaning it is a public holiday as in = NO SCHOOL! Super extended weekend is real COOL but it also translates into, "Dear teachers please give us a ton or maybe two of homework to fill up all those empty days, please?" *Sigh* Teachers are good at reading these "INVISIBLE" signs.
Ooh and I figured out how to work my new phone... still haven't set up GPRS but still usable, took some pics. Want a cool tip? You know the situation, you point your camera phone at someone and they shun almost immediately to avoid being taken, they "lag" long enough to notice, but not long enough for your camera to capture the image, how then? Well, I figured that all phone-cams ahaf a reaction time of about half to one seconds from the time you press "capture" till the time it actually takes the pic, so what you do is FIRST press capturea nd then swing it quickly at your target. He/she will notice it and dodge but not before the phone's split second is up and snaps him/her just before they can move. I have tried it out and it works perfectly, managed to get a few pics which even they were puzzled how I managed to take em ^_^ This idea is mainly frm Kenneth from Bishan Park Secondary, I owe you for this man!
I take a long time every time I update my blog. Why? Because I know that no one reads it! With this piece of knowledge in mind I ensure that whenever I write an entry, I'm sure I'm writing to no one in particular. In fact, I seriously don't think there is ANYONE in particular who would read my blog.
Surprising? Hardly, given my reputation (or lack off) Seriously, anyone who stumbles on this humble bit of crap I call a blog. What is wrong with me? Why am I different from others? How can I change? If no one will tell me, how will I know? I have rarely seriously asked these questions but when I do, all I face is silece, more wierd stares and when replied, I get a "childish". Sure, I am really childish, I admit it. That is the consequence of watching too much anime, reading too much manga, not going out more often and not bothering to check out what's hot and what's not. Is it about money? I mean like, most people spend time going to town and go shopping, get a new top, new bag new VCD set blah blah blah. I rarely buy anything, maybe it is beacuse I don't save much but is that really all? I never had any capital to work on and starting from scratch is too tedious for me. So I am a lazy prick, shoot me, stuff me, bake me and then eat me.
I like to read other's blogs especially Cheryl's. Reason? Im not interested or anything but she writes the most decent blog entrys followed by Sylvia's (Even though she too is getting umm... for want of a better word, worse). Her frnak and outright in your face views do sting if directed at you but I can just feel how to say... her aura, her essence in her writing and that is RARE even I sometimes lose myself...
Poor Sec 4s, cramming like insane for all the mock exams and O-levels but take heart and be of good cheer for it is not too long away, this year has only got 4 more months to go after which I will totally lose all contact with them, even though I'm sure they DO NOT WANT to keep in touch. People say that secondary school and NS is where you build the best friends that last you your entire life. Well, guess what? I think I'm going to be a loner for the rest of my life... my social life has always modelled after my acedemic life, a miserable failure. Even though I may be ...I dare not say good as I pale in comparison to many others I am just not worthy to mention, it is only one or two subjects and I need all the points I can get to go where I want! And that itself is not easy either, I know I can't expect life to fall perefectly into my laps but I just can't find the motivation to go on, thus my Blog Heading, What am I fighting for?
I want all my past classmates or people from the same level as me to know that I do not hate you or anything. I never did and never will, in fact I miss you more than you could ever imagine. In fact I loved you all from the bottom of my heart... even though it was a hate/spite relationship... it is no doubt still a relationship compared to nothing at all. I may not so much so as budge when I pass you as we shuffle along our respective lives but deep in the still warm corners of my heart I am crying out for anything, any sign of reconition without a tint of distaste from any of you. I'm not asking to be accpeted, in fact that I find is too far out of my reach to even hope for but I dare to hope for that just a spark of me still exists in your being. This is not self-pity or a plea for companionship... I was just reading evryone's blogs and I realised that everyone needs to have friends... and the memory just wrenches my heart. I dare not ask for a place as your friend but I want to be treated as an equal... as one would treat another person in the same situation.
Guess I have once again written for far too long... I started on this at 12:28 am and it is now what? 1:55am? So yeah... bye all and none
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you?
This week is National Day week! Meaning a longer weekend! Friday is the 6th and there is still school but there will be NO studying, just going in the morning to see some concert and stuff then collect our annual National Day gift. One year it was hole-punchers, one year it was a file and then the next it was full-scap paper... more and more "cheap-skate" by the year eh? What will it be this year? Tissue? lolx
Then a full solid weekend! Wooh! Things can't get better cos after a full saturday and sunday, it's monday which is also 9th of August, meaning it is a public holiday as in = NO SCHOOL! Super extended weekend is real COOL but it also translates into, "Dear teachers please give us a ton or maybe two of homework to fill up all those empty days, please?" *Sigh* Teachers are good at reading these "INVISIBLE" signs.
Ooh and I figured out how to work my new phone... still haven't set up GPRS but still usable, took some pics. Want a cool tip? You know the situation, you point your camera phone at someone and they shun almost immediately to avoid being taken, they "lag" long enough to notice, but not long enough for your camera to capture the image, how then? Well, I figured that all phone-cams ahaf a reaction time of about half to one seconds from the time you press "capture" till the time it actually takes the pic, so what you do is FIRST press capturea nd then swing it quickly at your target. He/she will notice it and dodge but not before the phone's split second is up and snaps him/her just before they can move. I have tried it out and it works perfectly, managed to get a few pics which even they were puzzled how I managed to take em ^_^ This idea is mainly frm Kenneth from Bishan Park Secondary, I owe you for this man!
I take a long time every time I update my blog. Why? Because I know that no one reads it! With this piece of knowledge in mind I ensure that whenever I write an entry, I'm sure I'm writing to no one in particular. In fact, I seriously don't think there is ANYONE in particular who would read my blog.
Surprising? Hardly, given my reputation (or lack off) Seriously, anyone who stumbles on this humble bit of crap I call a blog. What is wrong with me? Why am I different from others? How can I change? If no one will tell me, how will I know? I have rarely seriously asked these questions but when I do, all I face is silece, more wierd stares and when replied, I get a "childish". Sure, I am really childish, I admit it. That is the consequence of watching too much anime, reading too much manga, not going out more often and not bothering to check out what's hot and what's not. Is it about money? I mean like, most people spend time going to town and go shopping, get a new top, new bag new VCD set blah blah blah. I rarely buy anything, maybe it is beacuse I don't save much but is that really all? I never had any capital to work on and starting from scratch is too tedious for me. So I am a lazy prick, shoot me, stuff me, bake me and then eat me.
I like to read other's blogs especially Cheryl's. Reason? Im not interested or anything but she writes the most decent blog entrys followed by Sylvia's (Even though she too is getting umm... for want of a better word, worse). Her frnak and outright in your face views do sting if directed at you but I can just feel how to say... her aura, her essence in her writing and that is RARE even I sometimes lose myself...
Poor Sec 4s, cramming like insane for all the mock exams and O-levels but take heart and be of good cheer for it is not too long away, this year has only got 4 more months to go after which I will totally lose all contact with them, even though I'm sure they DO NOT WANT to keep in touch. People say that secondary school and NS is where you build the best friends that last you your entire life. Well, guess what? I think I'm going to be a loner for the rest of my life... my social life has always modelled after my acedemic life, a miserable failure. Even though I may be ...I dare not say good as I pale in comparison to many others I am just not worthy to mention, it is only one or two subjects and I need all the points I can get to go where I want! And that itself is not easy either, I know I can't expect life to fall perefectly into my laps but I just can't find the motivation to go on, thus my Blog Heading, What am I fighting for?
I want all my past classmates or people from the same level as me to know that I do not hate you or anything. I never did and never will, in fact I miss you more than you could ever imagine. In fact I loved you all from the bottom of my heart... even though it was a hate/spite relationship... it is no doubt still a relationship compared to nothing at all. I may not so much so as budge when I pass you as we shuffle along our respective lives but deep in the still warm corners of my heart I am crying out for anything, any sign of reconition without a tint of distaste from any of you. I'm not asking to be accpeted, in fact that I find is too far out of my reach to even hope for but I dare to hope for that just a spark of me still exists in your being. This is not self-pity or a plea for companionship... I was just reading evryone's blogs and I realised that everyone needs to have friends... and the memory just wrenches my heart. I dare not ask for a place as your friend but I want to be treated as an equal... as one would treat another person in the same situation.
Guess I have once again written for far too long... I started on this at 12:28 am and it is now what? 1:55am? So yeah... bye all and none
G'bye , Ja Ne , Syonara , Zai Jian
I Run, From Life, From People, From Hardships, From Problems, From Friends, From Familiar Faces, From Love, From Myself. For Running is easier than figuring out what else to do - solve problems it may not, but life will always have problems. Yet, I can't run forever. I have stopped running, why don't you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)