Wednesday was the last day of the extra lessons for us sec3 04 for the end of year holidays. But I feel so damn guilty! How can I enjoy my holiday while the O-Level people are still slogging it out till next week? Pfft, no point getting in a bad mood.
Anyhow, which do you prefer? Holidays or normal school? Well, I for one prefer normal school (ignores all the shouts of protest and complaints) hey everyone loves holidays and cannot wait for them to come. I mean look, throughtout the year, pupils will be eagerly looking forward to the holidays and all but seriously! When the holidays come and the homework and extra lessons all pile up, they complain that the holidays are nothing more than normal school days, and infact, holidays are even more hetic and packed for some people than normal school days! I for one, like the feeling of going to school, climbing the stairs, dropping your bag on the floor, taking your seat, give yourself that little pep talk and take on the day. Yes, I like the routine. The familiarity of it all even through the hard work is what makes it sort of fun, no?
Even more than that, during normal school days you can look around you and see everyone. Decked out in the same uniform as you, with the same books etc. dosen't it feel great to belong somewhere? Even better, it feels great to be needed. Huh? You may ask... but I feel really glad that the school will call you if you are missing and your abscence is noticed... I mean like, if you are not there, something is and will be missing. It really feels good to be needed, something to exist for.
Another reason I hate holidays is really odd, you might not agree... but I hate holidays because there is so much time. WHAT?! Yes, there is so much time that you won't feel the pressure to get anything done. In the end you rush to get your work done, you miss appointments blah and blah. And even if you do all that, there MIGHT be time left... what will you do? Life will get REALLY REALLY boring. It is not that I don't like having free time... but to have free time and have nothing to do with it. I rather have back the schedules and datelines thank you.
Up till here, you might think, What the hell is wrong with this guy? (Among many things...) will begin to seem like someone who does not like to do new things and prefers to stick to routine and systems. But I said it before... I never liked taking risks. Every moment I was thinking. If I act like this, what will happen? How will people react? Best to stick aroundin the background, shun away from the lime-light. But as time passes... you begin to realise you were successful, abit too successful. You realise no matter what you do now, no one will notice it, your plan of sticking to the background worked so much so that you are now PART of the background, nothing to notice, nothing you need to care about. If you begin to change now, it will be sorta too late. You try to get out, but people used to NOT seeing you around will think you are trying to be irritating or extra, and find that you are best seen and not heard.
Sure, you can get used to it... but after a while, it will get to you, the message is so clear YOU ARE NOT NEEDED AND ARE NOT WELCOME. Dang, that stings dosen't it? Think... when you die no one will come to your funeral, heck! No one will even hold a funeral. Scary isnt it? Not the way anyone would want to end up. This new class is the best way to start. Because they don't know me and I don;t know them. No bad feelings, a new clean slate. To begin all over again. As if... the time lost will never be regained. The first year and a half of trying to stay out of the limelight, and the next one and a hlaf years of being a nobody...
I wonder, after they leave Peicai, how many people will remember a guy, slightly overweight, with a bad complexion, terrible in chinese, poor in all physical aspects sitting at the corner of the class, right next to the door, who vanishes everytime the recess bell or end of school bell rings without a trace, without anyone noticing? Well, if I can find five people or more people who will remember me, I will be happy, I will be content. People say that there are two times in a persons life when they meet most of their contacts / friends for life, in secondary school and for guys in NS and for girls in either JC or Poly. Well I for one have failed in one aspect, so hope I can make the best out of the other.
Hey, check out da new midi XD I like it alot, even though I don't really know the show it is from. It kinda gives a up-lifting feeling with a dash of "cuteness", I don't know if it does the same for you. If im not wrong it is Yell by Kawazumi Ayako, it is the first ending of the anime To Heart, I only know it is some romance based anime (I think) set in a classroom/school environment, japanese of course. That easily explains it, if you want more info go look yourself, cos I don't know more owing to the fact I don't watch it, somone sent this song to me XD
Im planning to revamp this blog soon... I dont know what for since no one reads it (more proof of the top few paragraphs... sigh) Cos I'm getting really sick of this layout, it is too.. dark. I like the "glowing" blue outlines but the black HAS to go. Im Gonna find something cheery to fit my new midi ^_^
Thats all for now, my posts are REALLY getting shorter X_D
Quote:
How In the world did that happen?! I dont know, ask yourself...
No comments:
Post a Comment