So late liaoz... now abt 1:15 am on the 27th, early morning! Only 1 more day to the Camp X_X and we are not finished up yet! OMG! Busy busy, so many things to do, can't afford to slack anymore... for now at this very moment making some stuff. Sigh.. logistics is the slackeist job at first but when all the planning is settled it is the hardest job where you got to find everything needed ASAP. Still got planning for e Christmas celebration, got to confirm plans for CCIS (Celebrate Christmas In Singapore) as in whether e RR are needed to do something on that day, school homework and a ton more of stuff...
Im thinking of splitting my blog. One for people from school and others to see, it will be more.. dull? I dunno, cos I don't really have people reading this. On the other for e Bethel people, will be more interesting, after all these people know me best XD and there is SO MUCH I can talk about only there... but there are also things I can only talk about here. I live many lives (or my "modes" if you've read my previous PROPER post...) and it is terrible when they clash, and this blog is abit constricting as in, If i write about one part of my life, the other hlaf of the people will not know what im talking about, and vice versa... anyone reading this CANNOT tell that the other me is very different, not having seen it before ^_^ And I plan to keep it that way.
Secrets, are secrets really worth keeping? It may cause suspicion and strife amongst people, but it also can bond two people closer than being just casual friends. Do you keep secrets? Im sure you do, everyone does.. but they don't admit it, after all if they do, it won't be a a secret, to keep to yourself. After all, if someone knows you are keeping a secret it is natural that they will want to find out about it so if you are keeping a secret natutrally you will insit you are not... but I am quite open and friendly now, throwing caution to the wind... After all I AM abit insane online XD
Now I am just writing whatever my mind lands on, just taking a break from rushing out the stuff for tommrrow... stress, stress, stress.. the pressure is building, but it will be over soon, I hope ^_^'' Stiff neck from bending over too long, aching eyes from the dim light of e screen, tired fingers writing desperately small words, sore ears from having earphones in them for long streches of time... but I enjoy it ^_^ working, it makes you feel alive, feel fufilled, so if someone ever says that if they would be satisfied if they never need to work again, trust me, they won't. Humans are made to work, to have a purpose, to do things, that is why there is such a thing as being bored and feeling restless. 2:02 am.. woah.. it has almost been an hour since I sat here and began doing this thing... tim sure flies when you are so absorbed into doing something.
What is WRONG with taking quizzes on quizilla for girls only? I mean like, the results are practically the same and there are great pictures too! After all, most of the other quizzez are 1) story type which aren't quizzes at all, 2) The Are you the right guy/gal for me OR which of my friends are you? OR the number 3) terrible quizzes which just clog up quizilla cos they are obscene and pointless. I mean like personality tests can be amazingly, and accurately scary! For example color quiz, though it isn't part of quizilla nor is it for fun but it's a proper thing made from through research. It still works perfectly even though it is a few years old... (the site is down now) Here were my results...
Your Existing Situation
Active, outgoing, and restless. Feels frustrated by the slowness with which events develop along the desired lines. This leads to irritability, changeability, and lack of persistence when pursuing a given objective.
Your Stress Sources
Feels in an invidious position: that trust, affection, and understanding are being withheld and that he is being treated with a humiliating lack of consideration. Considers he is being denied the appreciation essential to his self-esteem and that there is nothing he can do about it. Disheartened by the lone struggle against difficulties with no encouragement. Feels he is getting nowhere; that, instead of the admiration he needs, he is consistently misunderstood. Wants to escape from the situation but cannot find the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.
Your Desired Objective
Urgently in need of rest, relaxation, peace, and affectionate understanding. Feels he has been treated with a lack of consideration and is upset and agitated as a result. Regards his situation as intolerable as long as his requirements are not complied with.
Your Actual Problem
Needs to protect himself against his tendency to be too trusting, as he finds it is liable to be misunderstood or exploited by others. Is therefore seeking a relationship providing peaceful and understanding intimacy, and in which each knows exactly where the other stands.
Your Actual Problem #2
Tensions and stresses induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond his capabilities or reserves of strength have led to considerable anxiety, and a sense of personal (but admitted) inadequacy. He seeks to escape into a more peaceful and problem-free situation, in which he will no longer have to assert himself or contend with so much pressure.
Yep, and there you got it, this was so accurate it scared me cos it spanned over ALL my lifes, yep over EACH and EVERY ONE of my multi-faceted life. Creepy. But it was based on real research, a team of scientists fomulated this quiz, but you cant take it now as the site has been pulled down, maybe you can try searching for it. ^_^
I am like writing this in bits and pieces, so now is like 4am liaoz... SUPER tired, im gonna go off and sleep..zzzz....ZZZZ cya nxt time
Quote of e post:
I'll miss you when you go, but how can I miss you if you DONT LEAVE!!!
Saturday, November 27, 2004
This Is For You Joel!
My poor friend Joel XD his keyboard is spoilt so he cant play games Aww... but not only that, he cant even chat! So im posting this so he can copy and paste with his mouse and still chat ^_^ Enjoy!
Hello How r u? What?!
Why? Who? What?
When? Where? Nvm
Wadeva
Sorry my keyboard spoil, now using copy n paste
Only mouse can work
Dont ask Dunno Really?
Since when? Tired... sianz
cant tok busy talk to you later
bye bye yes no
nothing wassup? boring
sms me call my hp call my house
monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday
sunday tommrrow yesterday
today sure no problem
ok thanks lazy
I think that is basic enough for ya! Try it k? ^_^
Hello How r u? What?!
Why? Who? What?
When? Where? Nvm
Wadeva
Sorry my keyboard spoil, now using copy n paste
Only mouse can work
Dont ask Dunno Really?
Since when? Tired... sianz
cant tok busy talk to you later
bye bye yes no
nothing wassup? boring
sms me call my hp call my house
monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday
sunday tommrrow yesterday
today sure no problem
ok thanks lazy
I think that is basic enough for ya! Try it k? ^_^
Monday, November 22, 2004
Over, It is All Over...
At long last, it is this very day that all secondary school pupils slog t and work for. Today was the last day o the O Levels all over Singapore. Although Im not part of it, the thought that those other people are finally at the end of their long and winsing journey all the way up to here. Half their studying life is over, and soon they will be plunged into a mess bigger than they imagine. A hetic mess of late nights, PW and long tiresome lectures.
Anywayz, as for me, today is a long and tiresome day.. putting on my mode 2 for one whole day is very tiring you know? If you don;t understand what im talking about, let me explain. I live with 5 modes. Mode 1 is the one I use the most often, it is the ME I use when I am in school, mode 2 is the mode I use frequent enough to warrant a great deal of refining, that is the ME I use in church or with my church people and at home, this is the best out of all the 5 modes. Mode 3 is a little rare, it is when Im out, or just moving around, when with people I don't know... mostly quite polite and quiet... Mode 4 however is more odd, it surfaces when I'm alone, especially at night or online... This one is totally different liao, there is a boldness which exists here which I dont know came from where in the world. Mode 5 is there rarest to find, it appears when... I dont know, when I am myself, aside from all the facades, all the lies and fake smiles and excuses.
I tell you, I rarely watch movies so to watch TWO movies in one day is like something that has only happenned like ONCE. But today I (dont know what possessed me) watched TWO movies in ONE shot with no break in-between, it was practically, credits roll, jump out, run out across the corridor to the next cinema and hop into the seat XD so fun (ok lah quite fun) The worst thing is that it was two ANIMATED movies... which translates into ONE HUGE MEGA headache. I know this will sounds kind of lame, but hey, I'm in it just for fun k? Went to watch Shark Tale (Abit late...) and The Incredibles.
Shark Tale was as good as the reviews gave it, the audience was throughly entertained, everyone in the cinema laughed together, gasped together and.. you get the point ^_^It was pretty good, although te storyline was a little.. slack, but the visual goodies made up for it ^_^ As for The Incredibles it was great and will be GREATER if they made a sequal, after all, it did set the pace for a wonderful story with plenty of nice action ala X-men style but it ended just when the foundation was throughly set. Well, all in all, there wasent much of a soundtrack for The Incredibles but for Shark Tale I just GOT to grab a bit of Car Wash XD
After the two shows in a ROW, a tired out buch of humanity scrambled out of the cinema for some fresh air-conditoned air XD and for a few yawns and some streching... After this, unless it is a REALLY good deal/show OR there is favourable companionship you can be sure I WONT do something like this ANYTIME soon. After we regained our senses and hit reality, went to go for dinner... feel very Pai-Seh... Gomen Cecelia-senei make you pay, sure return you this Firday/Sunday ^_^ Seems like my "flair" for meeting people at the wrong place at the wrong time is lifting (not that the last encouter was a bad thing... ahem *cough* *cough*)
Anyway... only 5 more days to Camp! WooT! I know the Committie will be unable to see this (Owing to the fact that close to none of my mode 2 contacts know of the eixstance of this blog) But still I want to tell everyone on the Committie, PRESS ON! WORK HARD! Only 5 more days, i know it is a stressful job and all, but in the end we MUST make it! Expecially to our slacker.. I mean job delegating Com Leader Aaron, To our hyper ON Games COm. Head Anna, our MIA but now recovered Emcee head Xin Yi XD ,the most hardworking head-knocking Admin Head Alvin and Of cos our long-suffering Logistics Head who cant do anything until all the plans are down and is swamped at the end with work... ME! Wahaha XD Ok ok so no one reading my blog will know what the HELL im talking about all day today cos writing this from my mode 2 point of view, my mode 1, 3, 4 and 5 have nothing to say at all XD HAHA!
I'll end here, now for the usual...
Quote of the post:
The Most Important Thing About A Train Ride Is Not The Destination, But Whether You Decide To Get On Or Not
Anywayz, as for me, today is a long and tiresome day.. putting on my mode 2 for one whole day is very tiring you know? If you don;t understand what im talking about, let me explain. I live with 5 modes. Mode 1 is the one I use the most often, it is the ME I use when I am in school, mode 2 is the mode I use frequent enough to warrant a great deal of refining, that is the ME I use in church or with my church people and at home, this is the best out of all the 5 modes. Mode 3 is a little rare, it is when Im out, or just moving around, when with people I don't know... mostly quite polite and quiet... Mode 4 however is more odd, it surfaces when I'm alone, especially at night or online... This one is totally different liao, there is a boldness which exists here which I dont know came from where in the world. Mode 5 is there rarest to find, it appears when... I dont know, when I am myself, aside from all the facades, all the lies and fake smiles and excuses.
I tell you, I rarely watch movies so to watch TWO movies in one day is like something that has only happenned like ONCE. But today I (dont know what possessed me) watched TWO movies in ONE shot with no break in-between, it was practically, credits roll, jump out, run out across the corridor to the next cinema and hop into the seat XD so fun (ok lah quite fun) The worst thing is that it was two ANIMATED movies... which translates into ONE HUGE MEGA headache. I know this will sounds kind of lame, but hey, I'm in it just for fun k? Went to watch Shark Tale (Abit late...) and The Incredibles.
Shark Tale was as good as the reviews gave it, the audience was throughly entertained, everyone in the cinema laughed together, gasped together and.. you get the point ^_^It was pretty good, although te storyline was a little.. slack, but the visual goodies made up for it ^_^ As for The Incredibles it was great and will be GREATER if they made a sequal, after all, it did set the pace for a wonderful story with plenty of nice action ala X-men style but it ended just when the foundation was throughly set. Well, all in all, there wasent much of a soundtrack for The Incredibles but for Shark Tale I just GOT to grab a bit of Car Wash XD
After the two shows in a ROW, a tired out buch of humanity scrambled out of the cinema for some fresh air-conditoned air XD and for a few yawns and some streching... After this, unless it is a REALLY good deal/show OR there is favourable companionship you can be sure I WONT do something like this ANYTIME soon. After we regained our senses and hit reality, went to go for dinner... feel very Pai-Seh... Gomen Cecelia-senei make you pay, sure return you this Firday/Sunday ^_^ Seems like my "flair" for meeting people at the wrong place at the wrong time is lifting (not that the last encouter was a bad thing... ahem *cough* *cough*)
Anyway... only 5 more days to Camp! WooT! I know the Committie will be unable to see this (Owing to the fact that close to none of my mode 2 contacts know of the eixstance of this blog) But still I want to tell everyone on the Committie, PRESS ON! WORK HARD! Only 5 more days, i know it is a stressful job and all, but in the end we MUST make it! Expecially to our slacker.. I mean job delegating Com Leader Aaron, To our hyper ON Games COm. Head Anna, our MIA but now recovered Emcee head Xin Yi XD ,the most hardworking head-knocking Admin Head Alvin and Of cos our long-suffering Logistics Head who cant do anything until all the plans are down and is swamped at the end with work... ME! Wahaha XD Ok ok so no one reading my blog will know what the HELL im talking about all day today cos writing this from my mode 2 point of view, my mode 1, 3, 4 and 5 have nothing to say at all XD HAHA!
I'll end here, now for the usual...
Quote of the post:
The Most Important Thing About A Train Ride Is Not The Destination, But Whether You Decide To Get On Or Not
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Lazy Lazy Me...
The holidays have (to me) finally begun. The O level people NOT taking D&T OR Sub-Science are now already totally cooled down and relaxing. Well, for that other group, must keep on and work hard k? Only 2 more days to monday, after which you shall know the true value of freedom (ok that was odd -_-'') Anyway, seems like SOME people have a little problem with my new skin, I mean like whats wrong wih it huh? (Ok so it is A little.. ok not a little, quite.. girly?) But I still like it, i mean, don't tell me it aint cute! It is isnt it?! But if you insist, there is nothing I can do, if i get enough negative comments it will go... so yea
Anyway, niw at home day in day out no motivation to do my holiday homework... I know I know! The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak! Im too lazy.. I actually planned to finish em off by November so can slack in December but now it seems like as the end of November draws closer and closer I will be unable to UNLESS I go nutz and finish it in ONE week... quite possible now that I think about it, but Im just TOO lazy! Help me anyone, anytime you think you can, message me or anything ANYTHING at all, motivate me k?
Today is Saturday morning 3 am plus... Last night I slept at 5 am.. woke up at 11:30 am this morning... sleep so long lolx, then wake up go online... no wonder never do homework lah! (BAsH! What kind of lame reason is that you lazy jerk?!) Anyway, I need to fidn something to do for FUN... Im really realyl bored now-a-days. SO bored that I've resorted to actually trying to write stuff but I've failed miserabally... I just found out that... I cant write anymore!!! Not that I could write in the past but I've gotten worse! I can't think of any new ideas and stuff anymore... Is my brain dead? I can only give excuses and everything, but I really dont know what has happened to me...
Why have I become so slack? Do I really want to rest on what little CRAP I have "achieved" this year? I wouldnt call that low pass in Math something to display around... and my PoA also, It totalyl DIPPED! From the usual A2 or so to a LOW B4... I know this isnt the time to be complaining seeing how holidays and all have began but Im just not satisfied! And next year, no more fooling around, it is the real thing, The O LEVELS for real no ditching, no running, no hiding, no more. The SECOND big step to determine you life...
In Singapore that peice (or those few peices) of paper are you life! Your identity, your WORTH, Results.. that is all shows in here istn it? You amy say EVERYTHING, about being more CCA based or Sports based rubbish but these are still a part acedamic results see?! Your qualifications will see if you become successful (or maybe just break even to survive) or you fall and become a useless bit of trash to society. So much for heart and stuff, your solid worth is what people will look at, that all they will consider, THAT is the bottom line, and you can't bend it. I am a dreamer.. but I can't dream anymore, the reality hurts so damn bad... Things will NOT work out on thier own if you let "fate" play it's part, you can't dream and hope for everything to go your way or even at least not throw you into a mess.
I just woke up from a nice nap waiting for this page to load, or have I just fallen asleep and begun to dream? I dont know anymore... I cant tell... there isnt much difference, dreams no longer hold comfort or solace... they are just a deary reflection of normal life. How can I assure myself that even now, Here Listening to the deep silence of early morning, the sound of the fan, the moving wind, sound of my fingers typing away at the keyboard... my aching eyes, my slipping glasses weighing surprisingly heavily on the bridge of my nose, my ears aching from having a set of ear-phones in them for hours on end, that everything is real? What do I live for? Do I live, or do I just exist? There is a difference... when you live, you are alive, you ahve something you need to do, that is your destiny. But to exist is just like to be an extra on the set of a tv show.. just walking by, not saying a word, you are there, yet your are nothing, your presence does not make a big difference.
Does my existence count in this wretched school of mine? I know that I LIVE when I am in church, because I am known, I am reconised, I am NEEDED. But else where... I merely exist... or do i EVEN exist? I can't count the familiar yet foreign faces that I see everywhere... Like I am SUPPOSED to know you, but I just cant remember, all I can do is act on instinct if you throw me a hi, I'll just give a reply and lurk away. How long has it been since I saw one of these people? How long has it been since I saw somone from school, whom I rarely see? Two weeks? Three? My old class? In the foyer on that afternoon I spent aimlessly roaming the 3rd floor corridors?
Enough questions. I need answers and I can't find them. Those who know me, you dont know how PRECIOUS and important you are... Why can't I just be born a girl? Expressing emotions and feelings would be so much easier then... wouldnt it? Lesser expectations.. and more leeway on certain things... you may protest but that is how I feel... Beneath all those "jokes" I wish , I truly wish I could wake up one day and find that I WAS and WILL be a girl, to throw all those expectations and pressures away... to just, sit, enjoy the breeze, fresh air and the clear night sky. I know there was no conenction but now im writing on impules, Im no longer thinking it through. I don't care anymore, My fingers dont even feel mine.
Some days I feel like I am in someone and watching that person do things and react to situations, watching through his eyes, thinking "that aint me..right?" Other times I just feel like I am in a third person view, that I see my life play out, and I am watching, like a spectator, or other times I feel that I AM this body that I am like im in control, i can move it any way I want, but yet NOT it... If you ever see me looking at my palm and flexing my fingers, or just hopping or any odd action... I guess I am in that mode..
Whew wrote a cute chunk on auto pilot,very messy and theme-less... I'll end off here
Quote:
Mei2 you1 fang4 bu1 liao1 de1 shi4 qing2, zhi3 you1 fang4 bu1 guo4 de1 xin1 qing2
(In chinese I dun think blogger support cos I tried last time cannot)
Anyway, niw at home day in day out no motivation to do my holiday homework... I know I know! The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak! Im too lazy.. I actually planned to finish em off by November so can slack in December but now it seems like as the end of November draws closer and closer I will be unable to UNLESS I go nutz and finish it in ONE week... quite possible now that I think about it, but Im just TOO lazy! Help me anyone, anytime you think you can, message me or anything ANYTHING at all, motivate me k?
Today is Saturday morning 3 am plus... Last night I slept at 5 am.. woke up at 11:30 am this morning... sleep so long lolx, then wake up go online... no wonder never do homework lah! (BAsH! What kind of lame reason is that you lazy jerk?!) Anyway, I need to fidn something to do for FUN... Im really realyl bored now-a-days. SO bored that I've resorted to actually trying to write stuff but I've failed miserabally... I just found out that... I cant write anymore!!! Not that I could write in the past but I've gotten worse! I can't think of any new ideas and stuff anymore... Is my brain dead? I can only give excuses and everything, but I really dont know what has happened to me...
Why have I become so slack? Do I really want to rest on what little CRAP I have "achieved" this year? I wouldnt call that low pass in Math something to display around... and my PoA also, It totalyl DIPPED! From the usual A2 or so to a LOW B4... I know this isnt the time to be complaining seeing how holidays and all have began but Im just not satisfied! And next year, no more fooling around, it is the real thing, The O LEVELS for real no ditching, no running, no hiding, no more. The SECOND big step to determine you life...
In Singapore that peice (or those few peices) of paper are you life! Your identity, your WORTH, Results.. that is all shows in here istn it? You amy say EVERYTHING, about being more CCA based or Sports based rubbish but these are still a part acedamic results see?! Your qualifications will see if you become successful (or maybe just break even to survive) or you fall and become a useless bit of trash to society. So much for heart and stuff, your solid worth is what people will look at, that all they will consider, THAT is the bottom line, and you can't bend it. I am a dreamer.. but I can't dream anymore, the reality hurts so damn bad... Things will NOT work out on thier own if you let "fate" play it's part, you can't dream and hope for everything to go your way or even at least not throw you into a mess.
I just woke up from a nice nap waiting for this page to load, or have I just fallen asleep and begun to dream? I dont know anymore... I cant tell... there isnt much difference, dreams no longer hold comfort or solace... they are just a deary reflection of normal life. How can I assure myself that even now, Here Listening to the deep silence of early morning, the sound of the fan, the moving wind, sound of my fingers typing away at the keyboard... my aching eyes, my slipping glasses weighing surprisingly heavily on the bridge of my nose, my ears aching from having a set of ear-phones in them for hours on end, that everything is real? What do I live for? Do I live, or do I just exist? There is a difference... when you live, you are alive, you ahve something you need to do, that is your destiny. But to exist is just like to be an extra on the set of a tv show.. just walking by, not saying a word, you are there, yet your are nothing, your presence does not make a big difference.
Does my existence count in this wretched school of mine? I know that I LIVE when I am in church, because I am known, I am reconised, I am NEEDED. But else where... I merely exist... or do i EVEN exist? I can't count the familiar yet foreign faces that I see everywhere... Like I am SUPPOSED to know you, but I just cant remember, all I can do is act on instinct if you throw me a hi, I'll just give a reply and lurk away. How long has it been since I saw one of these people? How long has it been since I saw somone from school, whom I rarely see? Two weeks? Three? My old class? In the foyer on that afternoon I spent aimlessly roaming the 3rd floor corridors?
Enough questions. I need answers and I can't find them. Those who know me, you dont know how PRECIOUS and important you are... Why can't I just be born a girl? Expressing emotions and feelings would be so much easier then... wouldnt it? Lesser expectations.. and more leeway on certain things... you may protest but that is how I feel... Beneath all those "jokes" I wish , I truly wish I could wake up one day and find that I WAS and WILL be a girl, to throw all those expectations and pressures away... to just, sit, enjoy the breeze, fresh air and the clear night sky. I know there was no conenction but now im writing on impules, Im no longer thinking it through. I don't care anymore, My fingers dont even feel mine.
Some days I feel like I am in someone and watching that person do things and react to situations, watching through his eyes, thinking "that aint me..right?" Other times I just feel like I am in a third person view, that I see my life play out, and I am watching, like a spectator, or other times I feel that I AM this body that I am like im in control, i can move it any way I want, but yet NOT it... If you ever see me looking at my palm and flexing my fingers, or just hopping or any odd action... I guess I am in that mode..
Whew wrote a cute chunk on auto pilot,very messy and theme-less... I'll end off here
Quote:
Mei2 you1 fang4 bu1 liao1 de1 shi4 qing2, zhi3 you1 fang4 bu1 guo4 de1 xin1 qing2
(In chinese I dun think blogger support cos I tried last time cannot)
Monday, November 15, 2004
Updates Post!
Hello! Like my new layout? I just made it just cos im hooked on this new manga I've recently picked up, Ichigo 100%. Of course the top is all thanks to this Ichigo 100% fan site (one of the only few around, you can get the link at my credits below) This is much more cheerful and bright ^_^
Btw, Ichigo 100% is lisenced in Singapore by Chuan Yi... i dont know how many books are out but in Japan it is up to book 14 or so I've last heard. Not exactly the book for a kid, the first chapter has a girl falling down in front of our main character Manaka Junpei and he gets a good clear look at her strayberry patterned panties... and he falls in love with her (even though he has no idea who she is.. yet) and thus the name of the book XD Quite male orientated no? *gets bashed up for being a bloody pervert*
Anyway... there is no midi for this as it has not yet been made into an anime. Anyway, this is just an update post to tell you that I changed my Layout (not that you cant tell....) Bye Bye!
Btw, Ichigo 100% is lisenced in Singapore by Chuan Yi... i dont know how many books are out but in Japan it is up to book 14 or so I've last heard. Not exactly the book for a kid, the first chapter has a girl falling down in front of our main character Manaka Junpei and he gets a good clear look at her strayberry patterned panties... and he falls in love with her (even though he has no idea who she is.. yet) and thus the name of the book XD Quite male orientated no? *gets bashed up for being a bloody pervert*
Anyway... there is no midi for this as it has not yet been made into an anime. Anyway, this is just an update post to tell you that I changed my Layout (not that you cant tell....) Bye Bye!
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
The Moment We've All Been Waiting For
Wednesday was the last day of the extra lessons for us sec3 04 for the end of year holidays. But I feel so damn guilty! How can I enjoy my holiday while the O-Level people are still slogging it out till next week? Pfft, no point getting in a bad mood.
Anyhow, which do you prefer? Holidays or normal school? Well, I for one prefer normal school (ignores all the shouts of protest and complaints) hey everyone loves holidays and cannot wait for them to come. I mean look, throughtout the year, pupils will be eagerly looking forward to the holidays and all but seriously! When the holidays come and the homework and extra lessons all pile up, they complain that the holidays are nothing more than normal school days, and infact, holidays are even more hetic and packed for some people than normal school days! I for one, like the feeling of going to school, climbing the stairs, dropping your bag on the floor, taking your seat, give yourself that little pep talk and take on the day. Yes, I like the routine. The familiarity of it all even through the hard work is what makes it sort of fun, no?
Even more than that, during normal school days you can look around you and see everyone. Decked out in the same uniform as you, with the same books etc. dosen't it feel great to belong somewhere? Even better, it feels great to be needed. Huh? You may ask... but I feel really glad that the school will call you if you are missing and your abscence is noticed... I mean like, if you are not there, something is and will be missing. It really feels good to be needed, something to exist for.
Another reason I hate holidays is really odd, you might not agree... but I hate holidays because there is so much time. WHAT?! Yes, there is so much time that you won't feel the pressure to get anything done. In the end you rush to get your work done, you miss appointments blah and blah. And even if you do all that, there MIGHT be time left... what will you do? Life will get REALLY REALLY boring. It is not that I don't like having free time... but to have free time and have nothing to do with it. I rather have back the schedules and datelines thank you.
Up till here, you might think, What the hell is wrong with this guy? (Among many things...) will begin to seem like someone who does not like to do new things and prefers to stick to routine and systems. But I said it before... I never liked taking risks. Every moment I was thinking. If I act like this, what will happen? How will people react? Best to stick aroundin the background, shun away from the lime-light. But as time passes... you begin to realise you were successful, abit too successful. You realise no matter what you do now, no one will notice it, your plan of sticking to the background worked so much so that you are now PART of the background, nothing to notice, nothing you need to care about. If you begin to change now, it will be sorta too late. You try to get out, but people used to NOT seeing you around will think you are trying to be irritating or extra, and find that you are best seen and not heard.
Sure, you can get used to it... but after a while, it will get to you, the message is so clear YOU ARE NOT NEEDED AND ARE NOT WELCOME. Dang, that stings dosen't it? Think... when you die no one will come to your funeral, heck! No one will even hold a funeral. Scary isnt it? Not the way anyone would want to end up. This new class is the best way to start. Because they don't know me and I don;t know them. No bad feelings, a new clean slate. To begin all over again. As if... the time lost will never be regained. The first year and a half of trying to stay out of the limelight, and the next one and a hlaf years of being a nobody...
I wonder, after they leave Peicai, how many people will remember a guy, slightly overweight, with a bad complexion, terrible in chinese, poor in all physical aspects sitting at the corner of the class, right next to the door, who vanishes everytime the recess bell or end of school bell rings without a trace, without anyone noticing? Well, if I can find five people or more people who will remember me, I will be happy, I will be content. People say that there are two times in a persons life when they meet most of their contacts / friends for life, in secondary school and for guys in NS and for girls in either JC or Poly. Well I for one have failed in one aspect, so hope I can make the best out of the other.
Hey, check out da new midi XD I like it alot, even though I don't really know the show it is from. It kinda gives a up-lifting feeling with a dash of "cuteness", I don't know if it does the same for you. If im not wrong it is Yell by Kawazumi Ayako, it is the first ending of the anime To Heart, I only know it is some romance based anime (I think) set in a classroom/school environment, japanese of course. That easily explains it, if you want more info go look yourself, cos I don't know more owing to the fact I don't watch it, somone sent this song to me XD
Im planning to revamp this blog soon... I dont know what for since no one reads it (more proof of the top few paragraphs... sigh) Cos I'm getting really sick of this layout, it is too.. dark. I like the "glowing" blue outlines but the black HAS to go. Im Gonna find something cheery to fit my new midi ^_^
Thats all for now, my posts are REALLY getting shorter X_D
Quote:
How In the world did that happen?! I dont know, ask yourself...
Anyhow, which do you prefer? Holidays or normal school? Well, I for one prefer normal school (ignores all the shouts of protest and complaints) hey everyone loves holidays and cannot wait for them to come. I mean look, throughtout the year, pupils will be eagerly looking forward to the holidays and all but seriously! When the holidays come and the homework and extra lessons all pile up, they complain that the holidays are nothing more than normal school days, and infact, holidays are even more hetic and packed for some people than normal school days! I for one, like the feeling of going to school, climbing the stairs, dropping your bag on the floor, taking your seat, give yourself that little pep talk and take on the day. Yes, I like the routine. The familiarity of it all even through the hard work is what makes it sort of fun, no?
Even more than that, during normal school days you can look around you and see everyone. Decked out in the same uniform as you, with the same books etc. dosen't it feel great to belong somewhere? Even better, it feels great to be needed. Huh? You may ask... but I feel really glad that the school will call you if you are missing and your abscence is noticed... I mean like, if you are not there, something is and will be missing. It really feels good to be needed, something to exist for.
Another reason I hate holidays is really odd, you might not agree... but I hate holidays because there is so much time. WHAT?! Yes, there is so much time that you won't feel the pressure to get anything done. In the end you rush to get your work done, you miss appointments blah and blah. And even if you do all that, there MIGHT be time left... what will you do? Life will get REALLY REALLY boring. It is not that I don't like having free time... but to have free time and have nothing to do with it. I rather have back the schedules and datelines thank you.
Up till here, you might think, What the hell is wrong with this guy? (Among many things...) will begin to seem like someone who does not like to do new things and prefers to stick to routine and systems. But I said it before... I never liked taking risks. Every moment I was thinking. If I act like this, what will happen? How will people react? Best to stick aroundin the background, shun away from the lime-light. But as time passes... you begin to realise you were successful, abit too successful. You realise no matter what you do now, no one will notice it, your plan of sticking to the background worked so much so that you are now PART of the background, nothing to notice, nothing you need to care about. If you begin to change now, it will be sorta too late. You try to get out, but people used to NOT seeing you around will think you are trying to be irritating or extra, and find that you are best seen and not heard.
Sure, you can get used to it... but after a while, it will get to you, the message is so clear YOU ARE NOT NEEDED AND ARE NOT WELCOME. Dang, that stings dosen't it? Think... when you die no one will come to your funeral, heck! No one will even hold a funeral. Scary isnt it? Not the way anyone would want to end up. This new class is the best way to start. Because they don't know me and I don;t know them. No bad feelings, a new clean slate. To begin all over again. As if... the time lost will never be regained. The first year and a half of trying to stay out of the limelight, and the next one and a hlaf years of being a nobody...
I wonder, after they leave Peicai, how many people will remember a guy, slightly overweight, with a bad complexion, terrible in chinese, poor in all physical aspects sitting at the corner of the class, right next to the door, who vanishes everytime the recess bell or end of school bell rings without a trace, without anyone noticing? Well, if I can find five people or more people who will remember me, I will be happy, I will be content. People say that there are two times in a persons life when they meet most of their contacts / friends for life, in secondary school and for guys in NS and for girls in either JC or Poly. Well I for one have failed in one aspect, so hope I can make the best out of the other.
Hey, check out da new midi XD I like it alot, even though I don't really know the show it is from. It kinda gives a up-lifting feeling with a dash of "cuteness", I don't know if it does the same for you. If im not wrong it is Yell by Kawazumi Ayako, it is the first ending of the anime To Heart, I only know it is some romance based anime (I think) set in a classroom/school environment, japanese of course. That easily explains it, if you want more info go look yourself, cos I don't know more owing to the fact I don't watch it, somone sent this song to me XD
Im planning to revamp this blog soon... I dont know what for since no one reads it (more proof of the top few paragraphs... sigh) Cos I'm getting really sick of this layout, it is too.. dark. I like the "glowing" blue outlines but the black HAS to go. Im Gonna find something cheery to fit my new midi ^_^
Thats all for now, my posts are REALLY getting shorter X_D
Quote:
How In the world did that happen?! I dont know, ask yourself...
Monday, November 08, 2004
Long Overdue Post, Gomen~!
Waaaa!! I've been planning to update a post but I lazy lah XD It has been thirteen days since I've updated, it might not sound long but, it is! ^_^'' So many things have happened... so much to write so little space.. oh well, lets get on with it!
First up, apologies. Ahem, I would like to apologise to all the friendster peeps, I promised I would write all of you a testimonial after the exams but now not only are the exams over but it is holidays liao! XD OMG! Long over due like I said. And then there is those whom I've ignored on MSN.. too many time, This apology is going out to you! Dont be mad anymore k? ^_^ And finally to Somebody, Sorry I sorta caused you so much trouble, it all boils down to me no?
Next... GOOD LUCK TO ALL PEOPLE TAKING O LEVEL! ONLY WHAT? 4 OR SO MORE DAYS TO GO!!
Then.. holiday extra lessons are FUN whee! As if *bleagh* Like no holiday at all! This is totally expected but the only complaint is that why so early?! 7:45! Waa... we (Ok not we... I) need to sleep zzZZ Waha, but extra-lessons really fun lor~! During break you see pupils change shift. Dont get it? Well, some teachers can get more attendance then others by being fiercer by nature or by being more.. how to say.. attractive XD So during break time, pupils move in and out of school only going for the lessons they WANT (or HAVE) to go to. Seems like the most "in demand" teachers that can get a PROPER class size is Miss Shim (Math... this one is for e lookx oO but im not going for that), Mrs (?) Datta (Eng/PoA What can I say, fierce lah...) and finally our now long gone former Form teacher Miss Chan (Give face one lor...) Anyhow, except for PoA and S.S I dont think any of the extra classes taught us any new things... what a waste of my time X_X
Wa... this holiday so busy... busy busy busy ^_^ So many things to do. Even though there is MUCH less holiday homework, going to school, going for meetings... blah the blah... so many things to do ^_^ but it makes me happy, at least I don't have time to think about things that waste my time... umm.. ok that caome out odd... Anyway... The last week of the O levels are here... and I realise I have only one week left to make good my "vow" to take action after the Os are over... many things have happened recently which may influence the future but im not too sure.
Woah! Time flies so fast.. in only 53 days the year 2004 will come to an end. The new year 2005 is my O level year.. yes so it is one year later than it was supposed to but im just glad that for now... im happy. There will be a very brief one month holiday which will fly like never before and throw us into the new year 2005, where the onlythings to welcome us is tests... not that we did not expect it but yes... tests, tests to re-inforce what we have learnt to prepare us for the coming Os... ESPECIALLY chinese!! I dont know how Im going to pass... I will so flunk! But I now see a small glimmer of hope as by some miraculous mistake (im positive it is a mistake) i managed to pass my MT this year. Not by 50 or 51 or 52 but at a whooping (ok... whooping for me) 60.5! Now THAT is what I call a surprise.
Well, I really need to comment now. Ahem first, disclaimers. I do not criticize ANYONE for ANYTHING k? I'm just expressing my opinions like you are. Well... seems like people these days can't handle little nitty-gritty insults. Or at least it is labelled as an insultto call someone nosy... I for one don't ^_^ Then, when you get OFFENDED by such TRIVAL things, please do not blow it up.. please? One word for example... maybe nosy can turn into a whole passage of free flowing vulgarities in whatever dialect or language you are proficient in. And do tell it in a private manner, there is this saying, don't hand your dirty washing out for all to see or something along those lines. If you got a grudge, take it out with that person. Face to face is the best or if you fear your emotions may overcome you, via E-mail or SMS is fine too, just dont leave it to brew into hatred. Hate is a VERY strong word to use, too strong for most part to be applied to situations like these. Save it for when someone kills your entire family or something k?
Next, as everyone leaves the school I would like to dedicate a few verses from a song to everyone. It might not apply when I use it but it wil surely apply for most normal people.
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
That easily sums up this part... who knows what the future holds? Will that guy sitting next to you die the moment he steps out those gates? Or maybe that runty kid with "no future" may become rich? Or could that popular girl die alone, a spinster all her life? Who knows... the uncertainty will shake anyone it is best you on't try to think of the worst case possibilites. Even the best made plans can fall prey to the uncertainty that is fate... You will see how great it is to be a secondary school pupil with all your holidays, and to be able to sit with your friends during recess, talking, laughing, to know that when you go to school the very next morning you will see your desk and chair where it is, and the familiar faces of your classmates staring back at you as you take your seat...
Anyhow, thats about all this post will hold... and im outta ideas XD
Quote of the post:
Death will only find those who truely seek it
First up, apologies. Ahem, I would like to apologise to all the friendster peeps, I promised I would write all of you a testimonial after the exams but now not only are the exams over but it is holidays liao! XD OMG! Long over due like I said. And then there is those whom I've ignored on MSN.. too many time, This apology is going out to you! Dont be mad anymore k? ^_^ And finally to Somebody, Sorry I sorta caused you so much trouble, it all boils down to me no?
Next... GOOD LUCK TO ALL PEOPLE TAKING O LEVEL! ONLY WHAT? 4 OR SO MORE DAYS TO GO!!
Then.. holiday extra lessons are FUN whee! As if *bleagh* Like no holiday at all! This is totally expected but the only complaint is that why so early?! 7:45! Waa... we (Ok not we... I) need to sleep zzZZ Waha, but extra-lessons really fun lor~! During break you see pupils change shift. Dont get it? Well, some teachers can get more attendance then others by being fiercer by nature or by being more.. how to say.. attractive XD So during break time, pupils move in and out of school only going for the lessons they WANT (or HAVE) to go to. Seems like the most "in demand" teachers that can get a PROPER class size is Miss Shim (Math... this one is for e lookx oO but im not going for that), Mrs (?) Datta (Eng/PoA What can I say, fierce lah...) and finally our now long gone former Form teacher Miss Chan (Give face one lor...) Anyhow, except for PoA and S.S I dont think any of the extra classes taught us any new things... what a waste of my time X_X
Wa... this holiday so busy... busy busy busy ^_^ So many things to do. Even though there is MUCH less holiday homework, going to school, going for meetings... blah the blah... so many things to do ^_^ but it makes me happy, at least I don't have time to think about things that waste my time... umm.. ok that caome out odd... Anyway... The last week of the O levels are here... and I realise I have only one week left to make good my "vow" to take action after the Os are over... many things have happened recently which may influence the future but im not too sure.
Woah! Time flies so fast.. in only 53 days the year 2004 will come to an end. The new year 2005 is my O level year.. yes so it is one year later than it was supposed to but im just glad that for now... im happy. There will be a very brief one month holiday which will fly like never before and throw us into the new year 2005, where the onlythings to welcome us is tests... not that we did not expect it but yes... tests, tests to re-inforce what we have learnt to prepare us for the coming Os... ESPECIALLY chinese!! I dont know how Im going to pass... I will so flunk! But I now see a small glimmer of hope as by some miraculous mistake (im positive it is a mistake) i managed to pass my MT this year. Not by 50 or 51 or 52 but at a whooping (ok... whooping for me) 60.5! Now THAT is what I call a surprise.
Well, I really need to comment now. Ahem first, disclaimers. I do not criticize ANYONE for ANYTHING k? I'm just expressing my opinions like you are. Well... seems like people these days can't handle little nitty-gritty insults. Or at least it is labelled as an insultto call someone nosy... I for one don't ^_^ Then, when you get OFFENDED by such TRIVAL things, please do not blow it up.. please? One word for example... maybe nosy can turn into a whole passage of free flowing vulgarities in whatever dialect or language you are proficient in. And do tell it in a private manner, there is this saying, don't hand your dirty washing out for all to see or something along those lines. If you got a grudge, take it out with that person. Face to face is the best or if you fear your emotions may overcome you, via E-mail or SMS is fine too, just dont leave it to brew into hatred. Hate is a VERY strong word to use, too strong for most part to be applied to situations like these. Save it for when someone kills your entire family or something k?
Next, as everyone leaves the school I would like to dedicate a few verses from a song to everyone. It might not apply when I use it but it wil surely apply for most normal people.
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
That easily sums up this part... who knows what the future holds? Will that guy sitting next to you die the moment he steps out those gates? Or maybe that runty kid with "no future" may become rich? Or could that popular girl die alone, a spinster all her life? Who knows... the uncertainty will shake anyone it is best you on't try to think of the worst case possibilites. Even the best made plans can fall prey to the uncertainty that is fate... You will see how great it is to be a secondary school pupil with all your holidays, and to be able to sit with your friends during recess, talking, laughing, to know that when you go to school the very next morning you will see your desk and chair where it is, and the familiar faces of your classmates staring back at you as you take your seat...
Anyhow, thats about all this post will hold... and im outta ideas XD
Quote of the post:
Death will only find those who truely seek it
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