Neogene Creation - First Impressions

Before I start, I wonder which is the song that she said will sing till perspire. I'll try to guess at the end haha.

1 めぐり逢うすべてに

Very ending theme-esqe. I can see it with images of the characters lying down in a grassy plain or snowy field panning in circles as snow falls softly around them. Thumbs up, first one is a keeper.

2 Stand Up!

Not my first time hearing it thanks to FNS music festival. This Baseball reference laden anthem is such an upbeat jump from the first track it was a bit jarring but the sheer cheeriness and energy that shines through makes it un-hateable. La lalal la lalalalalalalala- another sing along-er at lives cant go wrong.

3 Please Download

Gratuitous english in a Japanese song? Unheard of! I jest, this auto-tune-ish sounding song didnt appear to be too appealing when I first heard the small preview but the full song has salvaged some of its listen-ability. I just wonder how this will sound live- I still think this does not do Nana's vocals justice, but only time will tell. Maybe I'll grow to like it Love and hate~

Please download my secret love song.

4 Alone Arrows
I didn't know what to expect from a title like this but the opening refrain got me pumped ... like a Dog days track! Maybe not quite as grand, but the pacing and progression led me to an opening theme-esque track that is entirely underlaid with a velvety soft layer. Its not that rockish. Sadly forgettable when it ended (maybe lyrics will help with that)

5 Twist & Tiger

Trumpets! Not Maria &a Joker level but this seems like a good live song. I can picture all that time to run left and right, point at the crowd and pose when the instrumentals are picking up. Short, effective, I like. I like the energy that leaks through the song.

6 Rock Ride Riot
This will take a few more listens to sink in (I was still distracted by the previous song)

Didn't end the way I felt it would based on the starting. I have no observations this song, it didn't feel memorable, it was dwarfed by its neighbour.

I know I know I know x Yea yea yea yea yea

7 はつ恋
I like this! This seems more Nana's territory, I can't explain but it sounds right. I can picture the lightstick movement as it goes and that pattern would be right at home in many of Nana's songs. Thats the best way I can describe this. On hindsight the title DID NOT make me expect something of this nature.

8 Jewel

The softest track in the album since the first track! This is the only line I managed to type out as I lost focus and before I knew it the song was over, shall warrant many re-listens (pardon).

9 Unlimited Beat
This didn't start the way I'd thought it would but it quickly became the Symphogear style song I was expecting. The starting caught me off guard, I thought my song order was mixed up. Cant wait to hear this live at Symphogear Live 2017 (well not "live" live). Seems more muted and not as "fierce" compared to the main series songs (it is for a game after all, I do hope the game actually does well, will play for sure). That the "unlimited beat" was part of the "background" rather than part of a lyric (maybe it was but I didnt hear it) was a bit disappointing.

10 Wake Up the Souls

Sure makes one want to get up and move vitality~ give me give [something]

More english but this one actually works towards giving it the push for a song that is designed to be peak and then drop to peak again (not sure if this makes sense).

Live is Beautiful. Sei sei dou dou. 

11 Starting Now!
Ah it's nice hearing something so familiar! The single from KonoBi has a home now. I really love this song! I still can see the trampoline and speaker setup from the PV when I close my eyes. No first impressions here, feels like the album pivot from here into a different direction. The power level is going to go up here on.

12 Gloria
The grand sounding title did not disappoint- super insert song vibes. For a new song it sure strung me along all the way. The tone and feel reminded of something else but I was enjoying the ride all the way so that feeling didnt bug me, instead it accentuated that this was more familiar ground (which isnt necessarily bad). I want this Live too!

13 Rodeo Cowgirl
This album is full of mismatched titles to song "contents", but this also took me on a pleasurable ride, like a rather safe thing that goes on music shows full of smiles and cute poses while giving her the opportunity to exercise her vocal acrobatics. It gets my seal of approval, I wouldn't skip over this song if it comes up on shuffle.

Dont be afraid~ Dont give up~

14 君よ叫べ

This sound reminds me a lot of some other song. It isn't quite coming to me now but there is the strong nagging to run the tune in my head a bit and it runs off into a different song altogether. One that will probably grow on me and into its own.

15 絶対的幸福論

We've had the benefit of watching this MV before the album released, and it was a very healing clip. The full song itself carries the same healing properties, no shocking changes here, just straight up good feels and spine chilling vibes. I was happy being carried on each wave of the song's build up. Love the little stop and hum near the end.

That wraps up my first impressions of Neogene Creation! I'll be waiting for my copy to arrive, its almost 2am, and I'm dead tired. I shall take a listen with a fresh ear again when I wake up.

Day 7

I don't know if we are considered the "bumper crop" or first fruit of the harvest- are the Christians of this era really the best examples of His gifts to humanity? The writer brings up the City Harvest trials and asks that we consider all the "low profile" ways we may embarrass God through our lives under the banner of Christianity.

I frequently have to face my anti-Christian friend, who was once a Christian (due to family upbringing) but when he had a choice chose to walk away. As a bystander and someone who has been inside the community, he sees more than most and is thus more disillusioned about the reality of God's goodness. Something like what Ghandi (?) mentioned- that he likes our God, but not his people. Sometimes we may not just be bad testimonies, but actively push people away from God.

Christianity ought not be an elite club, though it has a tendency to gravitate somewhat to that extent due to the relative affluence and social strata of believers. I feel that is a terrible pity- since the gift of God's love is most effective and most needed by those who feel they have nothing. Alienating those who need the good news the most is hardly the best way to go about reaching them.

Day 6 - I did it

After a 2 day break (Happy National Day Singapore!) I'm back. Clearly it isnt a habit yet, im still in the process of cultivating it. Today's topic seems appropriate, that satan does not, and cannot MAKE us do anything, it is our desires that lead us to choose to sin. The writer (and James) urges us to "take responsibility. Stand our ground, resist and renounce sinful passions."

One angle of attack here is to memorize and pray the Word. The author zeroes in on lusts and passions, about the hidden sins of pornography and promiscuity. As temptations rise, the only effective measure is to flee, but when one is assailed all around - the only way to deny and beat it is to expose, confront and renounce it with the power of Christ.

I know full well the futility of fighting such a struggle on my own strength. It isnt even a battle, its a one sided slaughter. Human's weak wills will crumble, its our weak point, as the desires stem from within ourselves. Trying to appear strong can only last so long and it feel terrible when you finally do fail.

The author gives 3 verses to memorize and pray:

2 Corinthians 7:1New International Version (NIV)

7 Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

1 Corinthians 6:18-19New International Version (NIV)

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5New International Version (NIV)

³ It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; ⁴ that each of you should learn to control your own body^[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, ⁵ not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;

There was a book or series titled "every man's struggle" and it truly is. A neverending battle that requires God's leadership over the weak flesh.

Day 5 - Being Lowly

I  get it that wealth, titles and positions which the world places an emphasis on are not (as) important in the Kingdom of God. However, isn't it a greater thing if one who has positions etc is able to humble themselves and become lowly, being able to find their greater fulfillment in a relationship with God? 

There is also the stand that God will use the lowly since it further emphasizes that they did not do it on their own and it truly was through God's power/provision. The way the author crafts today's piece would really appeal to the downtrodden and excluded. Yesterday we established that devout Christians will be regarded as foolish to modern society, partially leading to the exclusion mentioned. 

He goes so far as to say "blessed are the underachievers" and those who feel ordinary and overlooked ought to rejoice for God creates out of nothing. Till we empty ourselves of "our self" and fill up on Him (perhaps via yesterday's DOS) that God can make something of us. 

It is interesting how the world tries its hardest to make everyone feel like they are special and they are great just as they are but yet at the same time tries to push everyone to achieve. If everyone is special, then its as good as no one being special. It may hurt more to find out you arent actually special after hearing it all over but not being able to figure or recognize it in yourself. This disjoint probably leads to self esteem and confidence issues, wherein the praises of people start to feel empty and even take on a mocking tune wherein you can't find the seemingly observable redeeming qualities.

Day 4 - DOS-sing

Today's verse is James 1:5-8

⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

 DOS stands for Divine Operating System, in this context the author refers to is as the application for and of heavenly wisdom to guide your everyday life.

The author writes that double mindedness is when one tries to have a double operating system, one of God and one of the world. The duality is "A doubt that looks for proofs, guarantees, and contingencies before venturing out in faith". I see how it would clash, and how there is this sense of hypocrisy when someone can live a "normal" life which is true to the scientific method for everything but somehow can simply turn a total 180 degrees to "blind faith" when it comes to spiritual matters. Its little wonder others will find such a person silly for not seeing that intrinsic contradiction in the way they approach their life.

Where then does one stand and how would a person led by divine wisdom approach life? As I am, this is baffling, other than having your choices and worldview shaped by Godly values it would imply clear communication from the Lord on things that aren't as clear cut and having the courage to stick with it purely on the strength of your faith in what you are hearing.

No wonder the author notes that one ought to be sure they want that kind of wisdom, and that most Christians won't have it. That the wise of the world would consider devout Christians fools, and it has been and will continue to be ever more strongly.

I'll need to consider hard what it means to run a DOS compared to the relative safety and apparent surety of a WOS. There can be no dual boot or the system will crash and die, its only a matter of when, and not if.

Day 3 - Joy

Today's verse comes from James 1:2-4

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

In our walk, trials are guaranteed and through them we are moulded and tested. When faced with a trial, do we react or rejoice? Bearing with the situation is not the right way, a mere passive resignation to suffering isn't the victorious answer. Rejoicing in faith is a choice towards the potentially crushing feelings that might overwhelm us.

Joy is a choice.

And through choosing to believe whole heartedly in the assurance of God's sovereignty over any circumstance can the "strength" to be joyful despite the trails be found. "God is a Father. God is my good Father. God never makes mistakes. God is working all things for my greatest good. God has nothing but good intentions for my life. God is sovereign, and since he is sovereign, there is never any cause for despair."

The writer offers the short passage above, reminding me that God is all these things, especially during difficult times. May I resolve to draw strength and joy in all circumstances from the assurance of the Lord. Amen.

Day 2 (not quite)

Thursday went by in a blur, and its already Friday Morning so I'll try to keep it brief. Today's topic is on the Lord's family, for us that would be the body of Christ. Ironically, the page layout reminds me this blog was birthed of a different time, yet today's reading reminds us that no Christian is an island and the faith isn't designed that way.

I am reminded of an illustration with coals. Together, they keep the heat high and the fire will keep burning but when a fire is scattered each individual piece loses heat much faster and the overall fire will die out as the temperature drops.

Following the same illustration above, it is easy to start a fire but harder to keep it alive and strong long enough to be useful. The writer mentions it is easy to win converts but comparatively harder to make disciples.

I have to take my hat off to the leaders who have walked thus far with me, their dedication to discipling me and my peers has been a long journey spanning years. Lord, grant me an appreciation for what they do and let me have the desire to be like them. Also let the church be united and not let petty things divide us, instead may every member be a disciple and mentor to yet another, keeping each other accountable, working together to reach outwards to the larger community (like we will be doing this weekend) for Your glory. Amen.

Day 34, well, actually day 1 of 40

Preface to this entire series, no I'm not turning my blog into a bible study (well not at this point, it isnt my intention). However it is just a sounding board, since I think when I write and as my fingers flow over the keys so does the path of logic build itself in my mind. I dont expect anyone to still be reading this so I consider it a safe place. This is more for my own thoughts than for reading so if one does stumble upon this I beg your forgiveness.

Today at the start of this "book" James kicks off with only 1 verse but the writer manages to draw a slew of lessons from it. Presented here is James 1:1

"James, slave of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ"

His first point is the lack of titles, despite the many roles biblical scholars have identified James to fill, he humbly refers to himself as no more than a fellow slave to God and Christ. Do we, or do I have that level of humility?

On first thought, no I don't care about titles or positions, they're more troublesome than they're worth, bringing with them responsibilities and obligations. Yet I am not "humble", not enough at least- there is some pride in being a "leader", the same pride that hinders one's capacity to take a step back and admit that I too need help. How is a "leader" supposed to be a "leader" if they're flawed themselves? This thinking is entrenched in the thought patterns of man, but a spiritual leader should be no less an example... difference being what makes one a leader is no their own capability or achievement.

To lead in servanthood, in sacrifice, in bringing glory to God. Acknowledging my own helplessness is a starting step towards going back to the roots of not even leadership but Christian living. Do I need God? Have I managed for so long without His presence that I have gotten used to living as I am? This reminds me of a sermon a few weeks back wherein Psalms 51:11 was shared~

"Do not cast me from your presence of take your Holy Spirit from me."

David at the point where he recognised he had sinned was desperate to keep the presence of God. How different this instinct is compared to now when sin would lead to one shunning God's presence - a terrible misstep that compounds error upon error leading one further and further away.

And though I may be early by a few days, reading on brings me to James 1:22-25

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Its been a while since I looked in the mirror, and not liking what was seen have taken to covering the mirrors rather than changing. 

I havent even touched on the other points the writer brought out of that tiny line today but I've gotten enough to start working on. How do I go back?

One week ago x Day 1 x Tokyo to Ike to Akiba

Exactly one week ago I was at the airport waiting to board the plane departing for Tokyo on my first ever trip alone overseas. It's starting to settle in that I'm back and it is over but that 3 day trip was way too short even though at times it felt like the moment would last forever. Guess I should do my recap before the daily humdrum of life grinds the experience out of me. This will be a relatively pic heavy post so please bear with me.

After running into a few fellow Nana-tards at the airport, the flight and transit was relatively uneventful but my lack of in flight entertainment meant I actually wrote a huge chunk of text that I will upload next post (its stuck in my phone's notes), I actually managed to get quite a bit of sleep on the flight and landed late in the morning at about 10am JST.

Immigration was smooth save for the one guy in front me who seems to have had nothing on his immigration card filled in, or was terribly suspicious which held my line up for close to 15 minutes. At this point I actually forgot that I had brought the bruised apples from home to snack on and happily checked nothing to declare on my declaration. I even conversed a little with the friendly security guy on duty who was surprised I could write my name in mandarin, though it was hardly kanji and he understood smatterings of english - somehow I waltzed into Japan with 3 whole apples in my carry on. Apples that I proceeded to promptly consume over the day to rid myself of the evidence.

Parting ways with the two lovely ladies who entertained me in transit and on the landed parts of the flight ( wonder if they are back in Singapore yet) I chose the 1000yen express bus (instead of the express train which would have cost more than double) to Tokyo station (which was where they were headed too). By the time I stepped on the 11am bus, I was wide awake, armed with my first purchase in Japan, a 140yen bottle of pocari sweat out of - a vending machine, not the most memorable or unique thing but I was thirsty and the vending machine accepted 1000yen notes! The bus was super cool, with charging ports next to every seat, pity my adaptor was in my main luggage in the hold or I would have juiced up my phone.

My initial plan was to swing by Ikebukuro to shop the Pokemon Centre and Animate HQ plus scope out the YuGiOh collaboration Cafe but decided to hang around Tokyo to try and complete a mini side quest: flower spotting. It was cherry blossom season and though the season was ending and the petals was dropping all over I figured it would be a good idea to grab a boxed lunch and eat under a Sakura tree with its petals dropping all around me. Google conveniently pointed me to Daimaru linked to Tokyo Station (it is huge, sprawling and can easily get one lost in short order if you aren't keen on following signs) where there was all manner of edibles sold at the basement. I wish now that I took pictures of all the various Sakura appreciation bento on sale ranging from hamburgers (just the meat patty), to sushi, to salads and even dim sum- I finally settled on an alluring tempura boxed set.

Next was to find the Sakura, more googling led me to the nearby Imperial Palace Gardens, which I DID NOT REALISE was closed on Friday, so I walked around the outskirts like all the other tourists taking pictures of the walled moat and the structures hidden beyond. There were a few blossoming trees but nothing close enough to sit under, plus they didn't let you step on the grass itself. I settled for a spot near a rather prominent tree and sat by the gravel side eating my boxed lunch.

My first mistake was picking a tempura set, by the time I made the trek over the beautiful batter had gone soggy and turned from a crisp light yellow to a soft brownish mess. Naturally this detracted from the taste a little though the sauce laden rice and pickles were good enough to have been eaten on its own. My second mistake was mistaking the patterned styrofoam box for a real wooden box, that box actually influenced my decision to take the set since I thought i'd get a cool knick knack to keep- guess not. After lunch, I continued my walk to snap more pics of trees and a cool bridge that is apparently Tokyo's most famous bridge, there were people on it so there must have been a way across the moat but at that point it was almost 3pm and I was getting tired.

After walking one big round I tried to return to Tokyo station only to run into a smaller park nearby that was full of flowering trees, large grassy areas to laze around on and even benches along the side if the grass wasnt quite your thing. Mentally kicking myself while I cut through towards Tokyo station I was met with a crossroads. Do I head to Akihabara and wait for my check in at 4pm or resume my initial plan to visit Ikebukuro? It was at this juncture I had a revelation. This entire trip itself was one big YOLO, since I was already here why not make the most of it? It was what inspired me to spend 2 hours trekking along a closed garden space and since they would hold my reservation ( I had already paid by credit card when I made my booking) why not? So I bought a Suica with 2000yen value and headed for Ikebukuro.

Hopping into the station I had to take a few turns to catch the right line that went to Ikebukuro, a 30 minute ride away. There, Google maps saved my life big time as I headed off in randomly (very wrong) directions multiple times trying to find the Animate and Sunshine Plaza, when I finally made it to Animate I was informed there were TWO Animate in Ikebukuro, and to avoid heading to the wrong one I double checked- thankfully I was at the right one. The 7 story building was a place filled with the dreams of fans wanting to part their hard earned money for merchandise: everything from edibles to art books, character goods of all kinds and even places for budding doujinshi artistes to resupply.

Look at the kinds of goods, not just anime, manga, but even mobile games had a section. The theme for the season was Boku no Hero Academia, a series that I myself am pretty hyped for and there were character standees on every stair case landing as well the television sets were looping the OP and ED. Naturally I gravitated towards the CD/DVD floor was was promptly greeted with a live sized version of Nana promoting Nana Clips 7 and a large poster. The floor was amazing and I was more than tempted to pick up some old albums and singles~ there was quite a large display for My Petit Lady as well but it was hard to take pics of only Aoi Yuuki so I kinda left it alone.

The trip back to Akihabara showed the effectiveness of the JR line, half way there was a delay and the delay was announced ahead of time a few stations before and repeated up to the delayed stop- at that stop almost everyone left the train car! I thought it would be a long delay but the doors were just held open for about 5 minutes, guess that is long enough to derail the best laid, well scheduled plans. Nevertheless the train proceeded smoothly and dropped me off in the mecca of anime otaku~AKIHABARA! Though it was pretty late and I was tired and aching so I proceeded to check in and drop my bags off before heading out to look for a late dinner (I had no idea this would be my earliest dinner in Japan heh).

I settled for a 24h Nakau nearby my accomodation (thanks for supporting Nana Mizuki Live Galaxy 2016!) but they no longer had posters with Nana's face on it. After dinner, a quick nip into the nearby Family Mart to pick up some onigiri for the next day's queue and I was back to my bunk. No pics of the place cos I was a silly goose and didnt think to take pictures till I already checked out orz.

This concludes Day 1 of my Live Galaxy adventure, days 2,3 and a bit of 4 plus my reflections on the flight there will be uploaded soon (I hope). Can't wait to go back to Japan again, and hopefully to see more Nana live! Yay! <3 nbsp="" p="">

Countdown to Live Galaxy T-minus 27 hours x Trepidation

I was meaning to make it a series, at least one post every day or every two days highlighting the countdown but like always, time got the jump on me and before I know it - im flying off tonight.

As the clocks ticks my preparation time away I've become more aware of a few issues I'll need to tackle.

Firstly is the weather, it isn't cold enough for snow now but it is cold and windy enough for chaffed lips and dry throats- I'll need to rustle up a scarf and some lip balm before I go. A hat, ear muffs, hoodie or beanie will help immensely as well.

Secondly, In a particularly complex case of my overseas mobile data provider falling ill and disappearing for a few weeks, I finally got my hands on the unit yesterday, sans powerbank. Charging it overnight reminded me of an issue I might face. Without a "room" am I able to leave stuff charging when I'm NOT at the hostel? Seems like an issue we'd never consider but I guess I'll find out in a few hours. To showcase the severity of this potential problem lets list the items that might need charging:

1) Phone
2) Power bank
3) Mobile Wifi
4) MP3 Player
5) 3DS

Thats it for me, other people may also have their tablets, camera, other gaming devices and laptop. I'll have to prioritize what I need powered throughout the day

Thirdly, I'm not sure if I have enough cash to spend there~ minus live goods my spending and eating budget seems pretty slim. Might change another 100+ dollars (thats all i can spare) later before I leave (At ridiculous rates, it was so much better last week). Then again, what if I change too much at this bad exchange rate and get stuck with yen?! Better to have more I guess-

Lastly, my luggage space. Im bringing a backpack- which is 80% full atm and to my horror: it weighs nothing like 20kg. Having bought extra luggage space I feel like I've scammed myself. Even when full it wont hit 20kg, and I dont have much in the way of luggage space. Should I repack into a proper luggage? I'd hate to have to lug it around though, how perplexing. Might run out of space to bring goods back especially if I get any figures at all.

I'm only 6 hours away from my flight and another 16 odd hours away from Japan. Looking forward to updating with more news and possibly some pictures (my phone has no space for videos)

Countdown to launch T-minus 7 Live Galaxy x Introspection

In one week, at this very moment I should be fast asleep or I wont be able to catch the first train to meet my friends and queue for live goods at 4am+ (3am+ SG time). I know that I wont be able to sleep, as it is I already sleep on average at 1am each night. The past few days have gone by in a blur and I haven't fully come to terms with the haste at which my departure approaches, I have yet to change money, or begin packing.

While it isn't the first time I'm flying overseas without family it should be the first time I'm flying off alone. Granted it is a short trip, way shorter than I would have liked- it is a trip I've been meaning to embark on. I promised myself after Live Castle that if Nana ever returned to Tokyo Dome, I'd be there to catch it, so when the news came out in Dec my heart leapt out of my chest a little. I didnt expect my chance to come so soon (well soon, is relative to Live Flight+ since Live Castle was in 2011 and it has been 5 whole years)

I want to take this chance to get some things off my chest that have been weighing on my mind a bit ever since I decided to go for this live.

I guess this fandom came as a surprise to a few people, especially those who kind of knew me since childhood. I can't pin down exactly where I came to know Nana-sama, but I guess it would be around the time Nanoha aired- so around 2004-2005. Aside from the OP (Innocent Starter) and Fate's VA, the Naruto anime also led me to find out she was Hinata's VA. Hinata x Naruto was so pushed so it wasn't a popular pairing but I found it cute (I'm glad it prevailed in the end).

Her prominence in my mind faded until a good 7 years later, when Symphogear came along. That was the first time I truly engaged actively pursuing Nana as a fan. That show is my guilty pleasure, it hits all the right spots, hot blooded fighting, transformation sequences, mech-ish suits, magical powers and the singing + fighting mechanics all made it a standout concept to me, however poor the plot might be in hindsight. So if I had to pick, Synchrogazer would be my entry point, not Eternal Blaze or even Phantom Minds which I kept in my hard disk since it sounded amazing. I even used Synchrogazer as my alarm tone for a few months till I cant listen to it without feeling a jolt like I needed to wake up.

Knowing that Nana-sama does not stray past Japanese shores I was content reading second hand accounts of her lives, I have to thank a select few bloggers from Teamliquid for their detailed coverage of her live performances and exposing me to more of her older works. Then came 2013, when magically TMR brought her along for Valverave night at AFA. It was like a dream come true, and I was blown away by how good her live presence and performance was, I was hooked from that moment onwards.

AFA had already taught me that live performances had a powerful impact that recordings could not replicate, being there engraved the performance on your soul and left a high that could last days, even weeks. I can consider myself blessed that in a short span from 2013-2015 I experienced so many events including Live Flight+, which is amazing being so close - there are times I literally spaced out just listening and had to catch myself from being so lost that I forgot I was there, barely 5m away from her live. Meeting the local fanclub during the Live Circus live-viewing was also life changing, knowing there are others, definitely more seasoned fans and being part of the community helped immensely.

My fear is that with so much development so quickly, and now in 2016, I'm going to Tokyo Dome to watch a live, have I run out of goals as a fan too soon? This journey feels like it will end if I hit the climax this easily, before it had a chance to ripened and matured.

Today I got to see another fandom bear witness to their idol group disband after their final live performance. Some fans were moved to tears, others were unsatisfied with the way the last hurrah ended, and yet others remained ambivalent, without enough time to process their feelings yet. As I prepare to watch another milestone in Nana's journey unfold, I cant help but wonder- with the her lack of roles in the past and coming season, and therefore reduced participation in recent events as well as her more frequent forays into other genres, I pray with all my might that this live will not be the place she declares her decision to leave the seiyuu/anisong business. I have voiced this concern to other fans whose responses have ranged from downright dismissive to giving me a cursory agreement, but I feel there is a shift that is occurring, if not in her management, then in my attitudes.

Why do we chase idols, or games or shows, its all to distract us, go give us entertainment and interest in life. After we hit the peak, what if we gain a resistance to the things that used to interest us? Like drugs,  what if we grow too desensitized from the things we love, I'm afraid I will lose my sense of awe for Nana, I really am terrified beyond words. To extrapolate, this trip to Japan, on my own is where I will face the "mecca" of anime otaku, what if it does not live up to the hype somehow, what if I find that it "just isn't all that special". What then?

I will find out in seven days.

Bus ride x Writing X Temporal worlds

Naturally, this was not written today. It was sometime last month, not bad considering it has almost been 3 years since the last post.

I took a longer bus ride home today. A trip roughly 4/3 as long as the usual route. It was late enough the difference didnt matter,  i leapt on the first bus that could bring me closer to my bed and wasnt going to waste another minute. As i sat near the back, leaning on the glass as i try not to touch my head to the greasy spot on the glass that i would usually contribute to, a rather foreign sound broke my stupor. I enjoy just observing people, sure it may seem creepy as hell but Singaporeans are almost always too buried in their phones to realise.

I didn't immediately plug in and tune out, a rare occurrence these days, but my lapse was rewarded by the faint familiar clacking of a macbook keyboard. The rythmic typing punctuated with sporadic pauses for thought, rest or even  maybe for effect underscored the ride. Softly enough to go unnoticed, but loud enough to not get drowned out by the rumbling of the bus hurtling towards home.

A student (bless her soul) was pouring out line after line of double spaced content. Brows furrowed in concentration as her fingers danced across the black and silver landscape perched precariously on her bag. I have done so myself before, but not on a bus (trains are way more forgiving in stability) and not at this time of the night. I was intrigued of course, the other passengers hardly offered any additional insight into their preoccupations. A boy browsing Instagram on his phone, a lady lost in thought whilst looking over the speeding landscape, a balding office worker having a conversation via earpiece in the back, oblivious to the passengers around him. Oh wait instaboy has graduated to cooking videos, I'd recognise  Gordon Ramsey's signature short video tutorials on YouTube anywhere. Back to the student, less typing, more scrolling. I hope your assignment goes well- enjoy being a student while it lasts. She hastily snaps her laptop shut and trots off the bus at her stop. A stone's throw away from a mall I used to frequent with an old friend.

With that recognition, as though i had napped and lost grip on the passage of time, I became aware my ride was approaching the region close to home. A pleasant surprise, considering I did feel a slight stab of regret upon boarding the single decker bus whose schedule seemed to promise an arduous journey for this weary office rat. Then I recalled how the route would snake along all the flats in the cluster, delivering others like myself right to their blocks and felt a strange wave of relief that this ride would not be so soon concluded.

Was I mad? Did I not want to dissolve into the warm embrace of a shower and fresh clothes? Not exactly, perhaps I was just rather enamored by the idea of writing, as I am, something I haven't done in ages. I enjoyed the experience, this temporal world on wheels where everything I needed to know was within eyeshot. Safe within the confines of a speeding hollow metal block, in the hands of a person I know nothing about. That lack of care, wherein my only responsibility was to ensure I let myself off at the right place, a place of my choosing nonetheless.

I still have the trek home from the bus stop to look forward to. I wonder what will catch my fancy next time I decide to contribute to the global cacophony of clacking keys.