Service today was wonderful. I don't know if it was the powerful movement during worship, the ministry time after worship or the atmosphere of the sermon itself but things felt different- good different, real. It was beautifully timely with regards to the little outbursts I had yesterday- but it also invited more questions then it provided answers. {superrandomup}Suddenly macross, do you remember love?{superrandomover} Hmmm, a full 5 day week in camp ahead and this long awaited weekend seems to be less then spectacular- at least less then I had envisioned it in my mind's eye. The feel/mood just isn't there after going back to camp. Its like your mind literally changes completely rewired. And I owe the NLB books again.
Sometimes I feel this and sometimes I feel that, sometimes I don't know what I feel sometimes I'm not even sure if what I feel is what I am feeling or just what I think it feels like but at times like this I feel that I feel way too little. The flow of ideas should be familiar, I've done it about a bajizillion times before. Do you mean what you say, do you feel it as truth all the time? Is everything you portray true to who you are? Then again, how does one know who one is- do you have any idea who you are? To yourself, to others.
I am iron man, too sturdy already. Can't fall sick and can't get injured even if I want to (read want to, not try too) so while everyone is getting status and dropping out left and right I am left to be a good, long suffering soldier. I really am beginning to hate this, but with God's help hanging on is all I can do.
Relapsing back into the emo kind of mood again. going back to camp brings this sort of change the rain helps the load but does nothing for the mood. I want to run away-
All of a sudden I don't want to go to ROC :( Send someone else instead!
Quote of e Post:
Why does it always rain on me
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