Okkusenman

My Memories are 110 Million
I’ve done this when I was a kid
It’s a faded memory
A red and white cap on my head
Ultraman, Ultraman Seven!

When I was a kid, a fond memory
When I eat curry and stuff
Silver spoons on my eyes
Ultraman, Ultraman Seven!

But now I’ve forgotten all that
And I’m living each day
Like I’m being chased by something

Even if I look back
(In the forgotten photo album)
I can’t go back to those times
(Photos of myself doing stupid things)
Anymore
(Laughing with friends)
Ultraman, Ultraman Seven!
Where are those guys now?
What are? they doing?
The answer is still unclear
Ultraman, Ultraman Seven!

But now I’ve forgotten all that
And I’m living each day
Like I’m being chased by something

The courage you gave me is
110 Billion! 110 Billion!
The seasons that have passed were
Dramatic

We’ve done this when we were kids
Wearing the 3D glasses
That came with magazines
Ultraman, Ultraman Seven!
Memories we’ve forgotten as we grew up
Revives vividly
Making an L with our arms
Ultraman, Ultraman Seven!

But now I’ve forgotten all that
And I’m living each day
Like I’m being chased by something

Even if I look back
(Opening the aged diary)
I can’t go back to those times
(On the faded pages)
Anymore
(The name of my first crush)
Ultraman, Ultraman Seven!
Now I just look back to those times
I was able to laugh innocently
Unaware of inpure things
Ultraman, Ultraman Seven!

But now I’ve forgotten all that
And I’m living each day
Like I’m being chased by something

The scenery I’ve overlooked was
110 Billion! 110 Billion!
The seasons that have passed were
Graffiti
The courage you gave me was
110 Billion! 110 Billion!
The seasons that? have passed were
Dramatic
_______________________________________________

I guess most people won't care to look too much past the screechy singing (which I feel adds the raw emotion needed for the song anyway) and strange theme (ultraman right, who actually watches that, huehuehuehue BR >.>) but the lyrics do mean something that strikes a rare chord_ I cannot but weep. The idea was nostalgia, fair enough. Poor guy in the video, at least he managed to remember and enjoy the past before it was too late.

How is it when one is young as a child, anything was possible (the idea is widely propagated to the children by every grown up as a form of encouragement anyway) but as one grew you'd learn there were very specific social slots one would have to fall into and the people you once chased dreams with fell along the wayside into paths of their own choosing or wherever life dragged them. As the script of ones life continues unfolding soon you'll find yourself thankful for doing the same and it is hard to shake out of the monotony and ask: What happened to those times long ago, not so much the silly things you did as kids but the ambitions and energy. The excitement of life and courage to dream granted by those dreams - all suppressed, downplayed impracticality. I don't want to live like that.

Deployment is all over, I'm going back to Maju next week probably for good (till ORD if OC SD has his way with the deployment). A good thing would be now I will be able to go for Rangers every week (yay!) The bad thing? No more cell ever... and I won't have any internet connection throughout the week save for Saturday afternoon till Sunday night- during which I will be busy outside anyway.

Hmm, I've already submitted my admission to NUS (again) for this year and maybe I shouldn't have been so hasty. Although it IS true that there isn't many other options open right now it would have helped to give the entire thing some thought. Maybe economics isn't as inaccessible as I had imagined- maybe I will find something to love in the multilayered mess that business seems to be. Maybe there is some merit in another course I hadn't considered or even in another university where it would be easier to get a course of my choice (maybe) despite it having less prestige. I don't know, I can't look into the future and I cannot turn back the clock either.

Stress is bad on the heart, best not stress oneself up too much. Any more heart wrenching / gut twisting and my insides will all go out of funk (if they already aren't) [ RANDOM ] Hmm, even though the translated title goes under My Memories are (worth) 110 Million the song itself only makes reference to the number 110 billion- a disturbing lack of consistency. Need at proper moontalk speaker to figure out of okkusenman is 110 million or 110 billion [ RANDOM ]

Quote of e Post:
The courage you gave me is
110 billion! 110 billion!