2nd Birthday

Well well, as if you didnt know (I bet you didnt anyhow) My last post was the 17th of July 06 meaning- THE 2nd BIRTHDAY of this blog~! Its been two years since this blog came online and it is (mostly) alive and kicking :) Come to think of it, Id like to change my blogskin, this one is really uhh cannot make it. Too dark, and getting abit old no? Then again, if no one reads it whats the bleeding point?

I think I'll go build a new skin when I have the time, which means in November! =/ Alright, not a very nice prospect haha oh my goodness... time flying!!! 2.5 months to promos- Wheee!!

Oh and on the day of the meeting, i did flip that rubber band on purpose, after all If if didnt want to talk about it, id rather let you talk about it no? I know you're going to read this some time Mr Yew, thanks anyway.

Agh off, more work to do bb.

Quote of e Post:
Shine your light and, Let the Whole world see

To Compromise~

Some small consolation lies in GP, all the time. The subject that provides the greatest pleasure to do ^_^ it is fun alright? Actually fun to write rather thne pour out crab(p) like econs. History can be quite a power trip if you know your stuff well and Lit is still a tad mind boggling.

So far, EDS + BSD. We're far from being legends, far from being legendary. What kind of crap is that? Parents meeting today to get back mid years haiz... but the surprising thing is that it was not as bad as I expected it to be (like every other teachers meeting ever)

And you know the stunning thing. With these kind of janky results I still managed to scrape a pretty nice 88 over 701 people in jc1. I do though think it is very junky. 2 subpasses and it went this far? Quit dreaming! Such a ting wont repeat itself once the science classes wisen up and get their basic down to pat.

Somehow... the council must have been very (too) busy with their investiture and stuff cos they did quite badly. I cannot stand to see that face which beamed with pride and confidence just 2 days ago look so crushed. I just cant- they... they deserve better then this for all the work they are to put into the college. Hang on people, you'll make it, One Spirit one Passion remember?

Round Zero is starting, lets dive in~

Quote of e Post:
Alone, your existance, one day, will probably change the whole world...

Sleeping Sun

The end of the week is such a welcome sight. Sadly it only comes once per week, (obviously) Today we made so much progress it wasn't funny, like in an instant a million zillion ton of work just vaporized (hurrah Im getting retarded vocabulary like Elizabeth) PW is one of the most evil subjects in the world, I kid you not (maybe besides D&T) Its troublesome, time consuming, requires team effort and needs you to produce alot based on very little.

Friday flew like .... just flew, so fast I didnt even see it pass

Interviewed a therapist with Michael, it was quite fun and she answered most of our questions and more. Even introducing a few books we could use as resources, how nice is that? Anyway, with out interview out of the way theres more to be done, Friday turned out to be long boring day, but at least I got a sight of one of the prettiest things ive seen all week ^_^ Shushy

Saturday was uneventful, same ol but today was different

16th July 2006, whats so different? It aws Youth Alive's FIFTEENTH ANNIVERSARY! Whoooo! Fifteen years in the making, how far we have come, and Bethel's 50th anni is coming soon too! So exciting =) Ps Rachel came back for the event... it was semi touching, how long has it been? A month? more? I dont know, Ive long lost track of time since I dont know when.

Mental Mental Mental. Ill be dead next sayurday when my parents go pick up my report card. How to explain a (tentative) EEE DSC ? not a single A or B, and one fail (subpass) Aghhh- going to get pwned. Enoguh here. its late, im off byebye

Qutoe of e Post:
222 days of light, we are those wanted by the night...

Sanity Complex

mel·an·chol·y
n.

1) Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom: “There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass” (Charles Kuralt).
2) Pensive reflection or contemplation.
3) Archaic.
a. Black bile.
b.An emotional state characterized by sullenness and outbreaks of violent anger, believed to arise from black bile.

Ah- let that feeling so flood my soul that all trace of hope be lost like a drop in the vast ocean. Things could get alot worse but pretending you are living in a worst case scenario helps lots when you run into crap.

As far as marks go Ive got two Es, one D and one S only awaiting Lit and GP, the only two I actually have some hope in. Come next saturday I'll be dead as dead can be. No Bs, no Cs, a bunch of Es and a D at best. We can just get ready to quit and enlist in NS prematurely wait what we? Im such a nice consoler (if there is such a word) of myself, I mean ME MYSELF and I.

PW is the bane of JC students, along with GP and some other equally annoying things like econs. Im sure of it, those Minions of Evil (MOE) created PW just to irritate and screw students over to no end. Someone please end the pain, end the torment. Overthrow the evil minions.

And I almost forgot, in 4 days it will be the 2nd year anni of this blog coming into existance ^_^ *self initiated cheering on the pain of death in the background* lalala if sanity be a crime I am innocent on all counts! WheeexQ! purewoprednuhtonid! ycnegremedps! ecrofcitsymecruoscigam! morfregnarmrotsajnin! more crap coming soon, I want to find a place to sleep and just sleep on and on and on...

Qutoe of e Post:
This the trend of the times when the mad lead the blind

Next Level

First paper back, chinese, clear as day, I phail. A Subpass (obviously) almost to a E by 3 marks or something like that. The first failure of the CTs has appeared, with only a possible 2.5 out of 30 on my score (trail run) I don't know how I'll pass.

Haruhism OWNS meh... I want a SOS Brigade in SRJC too- but no one, no one ever will be able to fill the shoes of one Suzumiya Haruhi. Reality bits, and it bites hard, leaving its scars we call memories and history. I want to rewrite the world- to be able to do so... what a great power.

One of the two insert songs featured on ep 12. There still are no translations for Lost My Music, so i'll keep waiting but God Knows is keeping my captivated for now. What a beautiful song- kyon no baka...

God Knows...
Lyrics: Hatake Aki
Composition/Arrange: Shinzen Akatsuki
Vocal: Hirano Aya (CV Suzumiya Haruhi)

Kawaita kokoro de kakenukeru
> I dash with a parched heart
Gomen ne nani mo dekinakute
> Sorry, I couldn't do anything
Itami wo wakachiau koto sae
> You won't even let me
Anata wa yurushitekurenai
> Share pain together with you

Muku ni ikiru tame furimukazu
> To live purely, I turn my back
Senaka mukete satteshimau
> Without looking back and leave
On the lonely rail
> On the lonely rail

Watashi tsuiteiku yo
> I'll follow
Donna tsurai sekai no yami no naka de sae
> No matter how bitter, even within the darkness of the world
Kitto anata wa kagayaite
> Surely, you're shining
Koeru mirai no hate
> The surpassing edge of the future
Yowasa yue ni tamashii kowasarenu you ni
> So that my soul won't be destroyed due to my weaknesses
my way kasanaru yo
> my ways will overlap
Ima futari ni God bless...
> Now, God bless us two...

Todokete atsuku naru omoi wa
> Thoughts that grow hot when delivered
Genjitsu tokashite samayou
> Melt into reality and wander
Aitai kimochi ni riyuu wa nai
> There's no reason to feeling like seeing you
Anata e afuredasu Lovin' you
> It overflows to you, Lovin' you

Semete utsukushii yume dake wo
> At the very least, while I only draw
Egakinagara oikakeyou
> A beautiful dream, I'll chase you
for your lonely heart
> for your lonely heart

Yamete uso wa anata rashikunai yo
> Stop it, telling lies isn't like you
Me wo mite kore kara no koto wo hanasou
> Look at my eyes and let's talk about things from now on
Watashi kakugoshiteru
> I'm ready
Kurai mirai datte
> Even in a dark future
Tsuyoku natte unemi kaerareru kamo ne
> I'll become strong and my destiny just might be changeable
my wish kanaetai no ni
> Even though I want to fulfill my wish
Subete wa God knows...
> God knows everything...

Anata ga ite watashi ga ite
> You exist, I exist
Hoka no hito wa kieteshimatta
> And other people disappeared
Awai yume no utsukushisa wo egakinagara
> While I draw the beauty of a faint dream
Kizuato nazoru
> I trace my scars

Dakara watashi tsuiteiku yo
> So I'll follow
Donna tsurai sekai no yami no naka de sae
> No matter how bitter, even within the darkness of the world
Kitto anata wa kagayaite
> Surely, you're shining
Koeru mirai no hate
> The surpassing edge of the future
Yowasa yue ni tamashii kowasarenu you ni
> So that my soul won't be destroyed due to my weaknesses
my way kasanaru yo
> my ways will overlap
Ima futari ni God bless...
> Now, God bless us two...
-------------------------

The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi (MSH for short from now on) has so many themes and layers. Personal choice against conformists. The concept of the world, and its fragility. How we control the kind of life we live, the unconcious things we do to make our dreams come true.

Wouldnt it be fun?

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Yes there are those stronger then us, but can we trust them?

God Knows

Two weeks since ive updated, really I have no idea where my time went at all. After mid years and now with this and that. So much going on and so much to do. PW EoM, PW survey, Maths Tutorial, History Essays (my gosh three complete ones), course syllabus for the Photo traning and other things I cannot think of. Mad mad mad mad. Took another quiz (kind of) this time, it is a handwriting analysis.

******* The Analysis Starts Here *******

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Chang Xiang has left lots of white space on the right side of the paper. Chang Xiang fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Chang Xiang has an unhealthy relationship to the past and has a fear of moving forward. The right side of the page represents the future and Chang Xiang seems unwilling to face the fear of getting started living now and planning for the future. Chang Xiang seems to be clinging to past events and spending lots of time thinking about what happened. It would be best to leave the past behind and move on. Stop crowding that left margin.

Something is incomplete in Chang Xiang's life. He feels frustration relating to his physical needs and desires. Somewhere in his life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption.

Chang Xiang will take action on his thoughts. He is positive that his views are correct for him. He has the ability to seem as if he is positively correct when answering a question, even if he does not have the slightest idea of the answer. Chang Xiang displays a self-confidence that makes everyone else sure he is correct. He is positive of his own views, but not necessarily stubborn.

Chang Xiang's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Chang Xiang that he wasn't a great and beautiful person, and he believed them. Chang Xiang also has a fear that he might fail if he takes large risks. Therefore he resists setting his goals too high, risking failure. He doesn't have the internal confidence that frees him to take risks and chance failure. Chang Xiang is capable of accomplishing much more than he is presently achieving. All this relates to his self-esteem. Chang Xiang's self-concept is artificially low. Chang Xiang will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because he is afraid that if he makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Chang Xiang to plan too far into the future. He kind of takes things on a day to day basis. He may tell you his dreams but he is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud he speaks, look at his actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Chang Xiang is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Chang Xiang is a cumulative and procedural thinker. He likes to have all the facts before making a decision. He thinks or creates much like a brick mason, stacking fact upon fact. His thought pattern or the conclusion will not be complete until the last fact is in place. Like that brick wall, Chang Xiang learns faster through visual demonstration than through quick verbal instructions. Once he has learned new material, and understood it, he won't forget. Chang Xiang is a methodical thinker, therefore he is able to build things and come up with new ideas. In an argument, he often loses to rapid thinking people because he is thinking thirty minutes later about what he should have said. These people often are very booksmart, but can be out-gunned in a rapid fire verbal debate. He may learn new ideas at a slower pace than other "less detailed" people, but once he gets it, he can handle repetition. Some people hate jobs with too much repetition, he can handle it better than most.

Chang Xiang will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

Chang Xiang will demand respect and will expect others to treat him with honor and dignity. Chang Xiang believes in his ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. He has a lot of pride.

Chang Xiang uses judgment to make decisions. He is ruled by his head, not his heart. He is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see him as unemotional. He does have emotions but has no need to express them. He is withdrawn into himself and enjoys being alone. The circumstances when Chang Xiang does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets him mad enough to tell him off, he will not be sorry about it later. He puts a mark in his mind when someone angers him. He keeps track of these marks and when he hits that last mark he will let them know they have gone too far. He is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All his conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. He is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, he has poise. Chang Xiang will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. He would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, he will show his love by the things he does rather than by the things he says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because he feels his mate should already know. The only exception to this is if he has logically concluded that it is best for his mate to hear him express his love verbally. Chang Xiang is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to him, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of his sound judgment. He will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. He will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and he will always ask "Is this best for me?"

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Chang Xiang doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
------------------

A few things to contradict.

1) I do not have a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

2) I still cant stand jobs with excessive repetition... its boring!

3) The passage kind of contradicts itself, here "Chang Xiang displays a self-confidence that makes everyone else sure he is correct." but later on "Chang Xiang's true self-image is unreasonably low." So where did the high self confidence come in?

4) I dont think Ive had unhealthy relationships in the past (aside from those people on my "to murder in cold blood in future" list) hell I dont think Ive had any relationships in the past. Friendship wise or other.

Such a fun test dont you think? Once again you get the "is some fellar stalking me to get quiz results?" feeling. I feel an innate urge to take another test and go look for something inattainable.

The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi is over, and I managed to glean 2 songs from ep12. Remember "God Knows" and "Lost my Music"? They are great, really love them, those two plus the OP and ED with NEXT LEVEL can keep me high all day long. Of course Running after You, Tell the World and Take it All achieves the same result much better-- Loving the W700, it is now my camera, phone and mp3 player lol, guess I need to go save up to buy a large (2GB maybe) memory stick.

Jean gets a S,S,S,S,U for mid years, what will I get? A U for history im quite sure of that. But the rest is uncertain, a pass is E, i think ill manage a E for econs and math. Agh this is so deadening, good thing CET was managing your STRESS lol-- I NEED to go FAR AWAY few years BACK would be OK I just NEED to UNWIND in my time machine...

Quote of e Post:
Even though I want to fulfill my wish, God Knows everything...