Calvary

Calvary - Planetshakers
I will lift my eyes to You
Where my help comes from
Lord I find my rest in You
Keeper of my soul


You gave it all for me
Maker of Heaven
You paid the price
So I could be with You

Jesus, I remember the cross
Where You hung upon that tree
You won the ultimate victory
Jesus, I remember Calvary

You reign
You reign over the earth
-------------------------------------------

So simple, it was never complicated to begin with.

King of my life, I crown Thee now,
Thine shall the glory be;
Lest I forget Thy thorn crowned brow,
Lead me to Calvary.

Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.

Knock x Birthday x Sleep

Lenka - Knock Knock
A second, a minute, and hour, a day goes by.
I´m hopin' just to be by your side.
I´m turnin' the handle
it won’t open.
Don’t make me wait, cause right now I need your smile.

Chorus:
Knock Knock
When life had locked me out, I turned to you
so open the door.
Cuz' you’re all I need right now it´s true.
Nothin' works like you.

Little louder x3 knockin'
Little louder [x2]

A warm bath, a good laugh, an old song that you know by heart.
I’ve tried it but they all leave me cold.
So now I´m here waiting to see you,
my remedy for all that’s been hurting me.

[Chorus]

You seem to know the way
to turn my frown upside down
you always know what to say
to make me feel like everything’s ok.

Little louder x3 knockin’ [x3]
Little louder [x2]

[Chorus x2]

Little louder x3 knockin'
Nothin' works like you, oh oh
Little louder x3 knockin'
____________________________

Haha were you expecting a knock knock joke?

I'd like to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday be it through sms, Facebook, msn or word of mouth :) This has truly been one of the most overwhelming responses I have received and to borrow a line- 真的感动人心 haha. To quote, Libra babies are like super sad cos their birthdays fall within test / exam / projectspam period. Everyone, I can feel the heartfelt well wishes (and some not so heartfelt wishes haha) but still the aggregate is massive. Feeling so loved right now scrolling down the page la- but life has to go on there are tutorials to complete and lessons to attend.

Haven't been sleeping at decent times recently D: There are a mix of reasons, from work, to diet (coffee), to gaming (BBS is addictive great)- I don't have the problem of me not being able to sleep. Instead I'd love to just collapse in a warm corner of the bed and slap on the ZZZs but I find ways to be occupied. In fact it is nearly 2am now ad I missed 1111 and 1234, yet again. I could really use a wish right now even though the birthday magic is over :(

You know, even after I have said so much- I really do miss them. The days we spent together are magically preserved forever, a standard of craziness to which other days of madness have to compete against. Yet I cant bring myself to take 3 steps back- again I ask: So why would I rather sit alone with my ears plugged into a monotone?

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now

Wedding Dress x Issue tracking x iPhone?

Nothing new, but it is still magic.

NM2219, truly a module with a whole lot of work both project and test wise. Issue tracking is so annoying, I have no idea how I'm going to gather 40 articles for 3219 when it comes down to that. So lets sum up what I have on this week~

Monday morning's presentation was not bad, it was a fiasco- but Daniel said it's very good- I think he was trying to spare our feelings. NM1101E test was do-able, but I don't think I'll excel in it, just do decently. Now for the wall of things to do by Friday I have the standard Philosophy summary and all the articles for NM2219 issue tracking with their summaries. Alright so it does not sound like a lot- sure feels like it because I have what? One and a half days left- brilliant.

Have been behind in all readings ever since the presentation popped up. How thrilling >.>

Pol Science and sociology mid terms coming after the e-learning week- oh and its also my birthday that week. Hooray! Exams as a present, joy... On that topic, I'm not sure if I'm going to actually get an iphone. It is a heavy investment, one that I am in no position to pay off now- especially not after my spending spree this month (September) Only time can and will tell.

Gotta be Somebody - Nickelback
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough

So I'll be waiting for the real thing
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen

So I'll be holding my own breath right up 'til the end
Until that moment when I find the one that I'll spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

'Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And you know this feels too right
It's just like déjà vu
Me standing here with you

So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end?
Is it that moment when I find the one that I'll spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

'Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know when it shows up
Make sure you're holding on
'Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, oh

Nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
_____

There's gotta be somebody for me out there. Even Sheldon has one. heh. Bazinga.

It's a quarter after one

Sparks fly
It's like electricity
I might die
When I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there's
No where in this world I'd rather be
Time stops
Like everything around me
Is frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open my mind to things
I've never seen

'Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you

When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you

Past loves
They never got very far
Wall's up, made sure
I guarded my heart
And I promise I wouldn't do this till
I knew it was right for me

But no one (no one)
No guy that I met before
Could make me (make me)
Feel so right and secure
And have you noticed
I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears

'Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you

When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you

I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point in even trying to fight this
It kinda feels like it's love

Cause when I'm kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I'm kissing you

When I'm kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I'm kissing you

Haha I just posted this a few posts ago- initially came on to post something else but seeing the link made me all nostalgic again <3 haha this song is so attractive.




Lady Antebellum - Need You Now
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now
I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now

Introduced, another amazing song- I'm pretty surprised this isn't a hit or something- far better then airplanes or owning the dance floor bla bla bla- GUSH so nice haha.

Quote

But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.

- John Green, Looking for Alaska

Angel Flavor's Present

The 30 day tumblr challenge has failed miserably. Nevertheless with my internet being down and all I doubt I would be bothered to carry on with it even if I wanted to- wait that was contradictory wasn't it? Ignore that.

I was reading one of my few but terribly complicated and convoluted readings and it chanced upon me to find out what exactly the University education is meant to impart unto us students. Surely 4 years isn't just to teach us how to craft reasonably waterproof arguments, navigate our way around campus, listen to drawling lectures, rush reports while sleep deprived (alright I admit that may be a useful thing to learn in itself) or even to acquire knowledge and skill in a specific specialty. One term often pops up which calls itself "critical thinking".

What is Critical Thinking? Go google it, or wiki it- which is where by the way I came across this one groundbreaking idea (to me at least).

Quote:

[The second requires ie. Intellectual Humility] extensive experience in identifying the extent of one's own ignorance in a wide variety of subjects (ignorance whose admission leads one to say, "I thought I knew, but I merely believed").

I thought I knew, but I merely believed.

Wow. Suspending judgment and making sure you keep perspective and not slip into judging based on what you believe or are entrenched in but instead really knowing and being objective. The realization that you need to know more about your "opponent" to break out of the trap of what (little) you already know. I shall work hard at developing this aspect of critical thinking, not just judging but knowing, really knowing.

Which brings me to the moral relativity of society but that jumps into philosophy and sociology. Good and evil, if the lowest level of evil is to willfully do evil for the sake of evil then what of indifference? Indifference through the acceptance of everything by justifying even that which is unjustifiable by relativism- in which each has its own reasons, motivations and merits(?). Why bring this up? To defeat indifference the weapon is critical thinking- not just believing like the masses or even thinking you stand on one side or the other without being clearly objective. Some things are not objective, and some blacks are black no matter how gray they sound.

Education has taken an dark turn, it is now a weapon placed in the hands of the young who are to fight for the future of tomorrow. Perhaps I've been reading a little too many fantasy novels of kings, knights and magic but I find this metaphor naturally fitting. These are dark times we live in and a sharp blade of clarity is what we need to cleave through the obscuring veil of relativity.

30 day Tumblr Challenge

Day 01 — Your favorite song (14/07/10)
Day 02 — Your favorite movie
Day 03 — Your favorite television program
Day 04 — Your favorite book
Day 05 — Your favorite quote
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy (13/08/10)

So I can remember :)

My Senses Come Alive

I'm back. And I hate being back. I miss EVERYONE and EVERYTHING :( That is the sucky thing about camps. I'm just going to rotate between a whiny kid and an aloof crackpot with his head in the clouds re-living the past 4 days over the next few days.

Should have taken more pictures but my camera died. I will post it when the e-mail with everyone's contact comes in_ maybe then I'll see if we can all meet up on 22nd to go register together.

A tribute to the most HAPPENING og in NM2010-
Elyssa, Justina, Xin Ling, Kathy, Xinyi, Shiyun, Shing, Hanyong, Ang Kuh Kueh, Tiffany, Jiaxing, Jingwen and Mao mao. We may have lost in numbers (math sucks anyway!) but we won in heart and style, you know that no one else even came close to our strength in its entirety. I will never forget each and every one of you, every song we sang, every photo taken, every joke cracked, every secret whispered. I really look forward to meeting you again when school begins :)

God willing- it will all work out.

Heard this on the radio and I HAD to find it. Some of you may recognize Miranda Cosgrove as Carly from iCarly) she was cute then and that has not changed <3 Enjoy.

It all starts making sense-

Is all around

Work is coming to an end soon_ and I have an orientationish camp coming up next weekend, way too much going down this week. Dilys returns, Joel goes, Camp, ARB meeting bla bla bla- I'm pretty excited over the CNM camp :) It being a small camp makes it all the better since it will be concentrated E.P.I.C

I do suppose it will have adverse side effects which will last a day or two extending into my last two days at work but it is ok- I'm always like that after camps.

Watched Love Actually, finally acquired it. Blegh- not at this time of the year.

DOWN

Dark Road

Heard a snippet of the song on House (s5 ep5- Lucky Thirteen) and it was so hauntingly good. Stuck for a while.



Dark Road - Annie Lennox
It's a dark road
And a dark way that leads to my house
And the word says
You're never gonna find me there oh no
I've got an open door
It didn't get there by itself
It didn't get there by itself

There's a feelin
But you're not feelin' it at all
There's a meaning
But you're not listening any more
I look at that open road
I'm gonna walk there by myself

And if you catch me
I might try to run away
You know I can't be here too long
And if you let me
I might try to make you stay
Seems you never realise a good thing
Till it's gone..
Maybe im still searchin
But I dont know what it means
All the fires of destruction are still
Burnin' in my dreams
There's no water that can wash away
This longin' to come clean
Hey yea yea....

I cant find the joy within my soul
It's just sadness takin hold
I wanna come in from the cold
And make myself renewed again
It takes strength to live this way
The same old madness every day
I wanna kick these blues away
I wanna learn to live again...

It's a dark road
And a dark way that leads to my house
And the word says
You're never gonna find me there oh no
I've got an open door
It didn't get there by itself
It didn't get there by itself

Dreamsauce

What I do before I sleep often affects what I dream about. Watch house, get nightmares, play starcraft get epic battle, read romance novel get sappy story. Of course, the strange and notable ones are when they have NOTHING to do with anything i've ever done.

Tonight I'm hoping for a good dream and that whatever one feels is merely a feeling brought on by external influences. All shall be fine in the morning.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iTouch

No regrets

Long overdue. Written the day after but no chance to post up.

Last night for cell Joel shared on regrets, and near the end he asked everyone to write their regrets on a piece of paper and later we'd dispose of it after prayer. While deep in thought as to what to write down i realized something.

While it is true that in our lives there are things that went badly. There are decisions we wish we've never made or things we did that we'd do anything to take back. Some if these things may have even screwed up your life but as for me I don't consider them regrets.

Every trial, every piece of foolishness and duplicity- each choice I made and warning I ignored was and is part of me. All these things and more make up who I am today, it is an ongoing testimony of God's divine planning and miraclous will. If any of those things; however regrettable did not occur I wouldn't be the person I am now.

Every story I have told is an irreplacable part of me. Thus I have no regrets, standing where I am as I am the way I'm meant to be. No tears, no what ifs or could haves. No apologies.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iTouch

Wishleast

My list of wants just keeps getting longer. Each time my credit seems to catch up time list just magically expands.

Let us see-

Zabee zector
IXA Knuckle
Starcraft 2
IPhone
MacBook pro
DSLR - don't look at me like that, i'll learn

That's about it- coming up to a crazy 4.7k or so. Apple really drives a hard deal -.- then again. If I DONT push for an iPhone my computer may not need to be a mac. Dunno la.

Nothing much in life surprises me anymore. I guess that is the one failure of growing older- there is nothing more to see.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iTouch

It came to laugh at our naive existances

Rainy days always get me down

That song you slowly sing
Is keeping you from breaking down
It's a long way down, it's a long way

- Posted using BlogPress from my iTouch

Not the only one

From the vault.

I guess, that is the end of it. Even with the little twinge overall I feel surprisingly relieved. Being tactful or glib had nothing to do with anything- calling a spade a spade will always be the best way. How long was it? One year? Three years? I can't even remember anymore. I guess I am still the same stupidly selfish and childish person I was three years ago, mentally, emotionally- growing old is mandatory. Growing up is not. So long as there isn't a Nice Boat ending, that alone looms large and terrifyingly so.

Once again in 22 years what do I have to show for myself? A collection of worthless quips stolen from others, a series of embarrassing events, a few clumps of normalcy. Lies and more lies, pseudo confidence and flimsy personality. Wall after wall of defenses covering image after image. What is that crap I see, starting straight back at me, when will my reflection show someone who lives life? Some people want to live in a world of their own, maybe I already am irregardless of what the real world says.

Maybe on some level I admire the Matrix structure of reality, it is terrible but if it is true then maybe- just maybe there is hope of escape/rescue for me. Screw the red blue pill, I'll down the whole bottle.

I want to be selfish, to grasp at my right to have life the way I want it even after giving it away. To steal back lost time and recover unexplored possibilities. Maybe I won't be as spineless and ineffectual as I am now however right this is. Maybe I'd even be irrevocably damaged- but at least I'd have been happy- for once.

M_U_N_D_A_N_E!

Duality
Some days
I get crazed
I don't know why it's so irrelevant
I'll take deep breaths
And keep control, go on

I've tried brave
And you've tried to saved
I've tried to keep it bottled up
I think I've past my prime, lost my mind, and I'm torn

No telling what tomorrow holds
Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try
Who let, you let this feeling die, I can't get you out of my head, my head
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive

Some say
It's all fate
but I say we control our lives
and if my destiny should out best me, then thats fine
I make believe thrill and apathy co-exist in me fairly equally
The truth is, doubts are all I've got to call mine

No telling what tomorrow holds
No telling what voice takes control
Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try
Who let, you let this feeling die, I can't get you out of my head, my head
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive

Is there anybody out there (anybody out there)
Is anybody calling (anybody calling)
Woaahh, if what I say is really wrong
Is there anybody out there (anybody out there)
Is anybody calling (anybody)
Woooah, if what you say is really wrong
I'm not in control, think I'm out of control

Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try?
Who let, you let this feeling die, I can't get you out of my head, my head
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive
________________________________________________________

Did I ever tell anyone that I love Bayside? Did anyone I ever told it to actually know about Bayside? =/

I'm getting sick of work, just feel like bumming around in the office all day, talking trash to the customers and waiting for something to pop up on fb, msn or wherever. Oh and praying for 6pm to roll around quicker. Talk to me people! I'm busy but dead bored at work, I know I have a spirit of excellence to uphold and I'm not cutting corners but if I overload my resistors I will burn out not from overwork but from pure normalcy. How wearisome! How mundane!

Game updates

Almost completed Heart Gold! After much trading and badgering online I have managed to assemble Red's team :D Meaning a Pikachu, Lapras, Snorlax, Venusaur, Blastiose and Charizard! Ok for now it is just pikachu, snorlax, bulbasaur, squirtle and charmander (planning to go catch that lapras on friday) but I find there is a certain poetic justice in beating the strongest trainer in the game with HIS own team- different moveset and stats of course :)

Will spend the week training and lets see how it goes!


Non-game wise- GREAT MOVE!!!

Young Folks

If i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me
if you knew my story word for word
had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me

i did before and had my share
it didn't lead nowhere
i would go along with someone like you
it doesn't matter what you did
who you were hanging with
we could stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you

usually when things has gone this far
people tend to disappear
no one will surprise me unless you do

i can tell there's something goin' on
hours seems to disappear
everyone is leaving i'm still with you

it doesn't matter what we do
where we are going too
we can stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you
talking only me and you

talking only me and you
talking only me and you
_________________________________

I'm not sure why but this upbeat song brings me to tears.

Once again Triple Triad reminds me why I enjoyed FF8 so much. Oh, and Selphie too :3

Oceans Away

Figure since I'm so far gone, oceans away,
I can lay my saber down today.
I miss the words I love
the words, you did not say.
I miss the kiss you never gave away.

There goes the sun, oceans away
And days die young when you're gone and you're gone
There goes the sun, oceans away
And leaves the day for someone else

Honestly I thought that we could make it all the way,
Barefoot on beaches dancing against the gray.
But stone by stone the castle crumbled to the ground,
I stood and stared as you started to fall into the waves.

There goes the sun, oceans away
And days die young when you're gone and you're gone
There goes the sun, oceans away
And leaves the day for someone else

Here's to the man of your dreams.

I take it all in a box and make my way down to the shore,
Throw it in and begin to leave it to the waves.
_________________________

I've lost count the number of times I've posted this but still it is and will continue to be one of my favorite songs. Their sound has changed a lot since then, but I still enjoy their newest compilation. Well most of it, I just cannot get into Never Say Never- which was the only popular one since it was in Transformers 2- but I lump it :(

Absolute, Say When, Happiness, Enough for Now, Where the Story Ends <3

Tag Farce 4

I HATE the storyline battles in TF4, not only is your partner deliberately weak and the opponents fitted with the epitome of broken (just look at Jack Atlus's deck 04!) your partner's AI is epic fail. Sooo frustrated, forget it- im going to go SLEEP and try again tomorrow on the train. Pfft, if only Aki wasn't worth it- but she is >.< Stupid Goyo guardian which is only lv6 but has the power of a lv8. Gragghhh.

Love the game, hate the AI. Artificial Idiocy.

Crossroads of Chaos

Why'd you go without saying a word?

Crimson Crisis

Lifeheck

10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life

1. Stop taking so much notice of how you feel. How you feel is how you feel.
It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you feel; whatever you think, you think. Since you can’t stop yourself thinking, or prevent emotions from arising in your mind, it makes no sense to be proud or ashamed of either. You didn’t cause them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re the only proper cause of pleasure or shame.


2. Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse. 
The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When you’re hair-trigger primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s come.


3. Ease up on the internal life commentary.
If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what others feel about them, what this or that event really means. Most of it’s imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding of what others feel about you. Usually they’re no better informed on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You have no way of knowing what this or that event really means. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.


4. Take no notice of your inner critic. 
Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst, how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who cares about your opinion anyway?


5. Give up on feeling guilty. 
Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s insane.

6. Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you. 
Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself. Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events, they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves (and worry what you are are thinking and saying about them) to be concerned about you.


7. Stop keeping score. 
Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn’t mean it’s true. Plenty of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish, nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific about relying on false data. Nor anything useful about charting your life by numbers that were silly in the first place.

8. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned.
The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly. However carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different. After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the plan away and keep your eyes on reality.


9. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions. 
To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them; nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only control-freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this.


10. Don’t worry about about your personality. 
You don’t really have one. Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn’t likeable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part—usually through continually telling themselves they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the only person who’s standing in your way.
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Really? Comments?

A post in which I talk about something only I read about

I so so SO want to watch the YGO 10th Anniversary movie :( Yugi is back but more importantly, Judai is back! Super Fusion- bonds transcending time, the heroes for all 3 series come together to combat a common threat from the future! Magician beats + Warrior toolbox / Fusion toolbox + Synchro turbo :3 all delicious, can't wait to see what new tricks each of the old characters have.

Black Magician, Neos and Stardust have their work cut out for them- the "signature" creature keeps getting better and better. I mean sure black magic curtain, thousand knives~ then we move on to Neos. What the hell happened to now making broken things? Neos force, Oversoul, Force of Neos! Then stardust, with starlight road, assault mode, majestic star dragon and and umm ok no DIRECT support but it has crazy pseudo-support like tuners that special summon its own material and generally all normal synchro support. Not to mention Stardust is actually a big threat in play as a beater, with evasion and the best thing? It is special summoned by pure virtue of it being a synchro monster. Brilliant.

Its been so long so I am going to rant here like the yugioh otaku I am.

5Ds isn't a great storyline series, but it is an amazing card gameplay series. GX was a great storyline series with a little too much filler but the gameplay at times was how to say- flexible to suit story needs. Lets not mention the original ygo series when we talk about gameplay, they made all the rules on their own out of thin air. GX gave us actual powerful and playable character cards that have lasted the test of time like Stratos, Ground Mole, dandylion, Cyber Dragon and even LNDD to mention a few from both the anime and manga whereas 5Ds have given us broken, unadulterated win in the form of synchros. Stardust, Goyo Guardian, Black Rose Dragon and Thought rule archfiend to mention a few, non synchro wise they gave us the Black Feather archtype, Deformers and an entirely new subtype- the psychics. The duels make more sense then the previous series whose characters used some really crappy cards just for the sake of staying in character- or in theme. The decks the 5Ds characters use and build are far more well suited to today's meta and climate- many of the the cards and combos presented are not only effective and simple but practical to actual field use!

As much as I loved Judai's fusion pulling stunts I adore Yusei's dueling tricks. He gets out of tight scrapes really well without the use of overly strange cards (Alright there are one or two really odd anime only cards that are so situational it wouldn't be worth the paper it would be printed on) and gets suitable beaten up. True the god draw element is still there especially when he topdecks in the early episodes, that draw and grin always gets to me- kind of how Judai's classic move is the field-less bubbleman into handless Hope of Fifth into cocoon party into contact into contact fusion, contact out and miracle contact ftw. Way too far fetched- especially when we begin to throw in the idea that Super Fusion allows him to take material from BOTH sides of the field. Nevertheless that was how Rainbow neos, Neos wiseman and many of his Evil heroes were created. Did I neglect to mention Judai has the most different deck types of all three antagonists? He started out with a vanilla E-Hero fusion beatdown then changed gear into a E-hero fusion toolbox, after which he swapped out for a Neo-spacian toolbox and then a contact fusion turbo deck- which he swapped out totally again as Haou Judai for a evil hero beatdown deck that became a variation of his Heroes toolbox with BOTH E-heroes and Neo-spacians. Yugi only went from Warrior and magician beatdown to Magician toolbox with Orisis support turbo.

Swoon. Haha I can really get into it when talking about something no one else cares to hear about. Sigh- if only the world REALLY were run by a childrens card game. Duel academia would L-O-V-E me and I'd definitely enjoy being a Obelisk Blue student. Oh well.

Makemagic is an addictive song, as the theme song of the 10th Anni movie it lives up to its pump and beat but after looking for the translation to its lyrics I begin to doubt. Are you SURE this is the theme song for a shonen anime movie feature? I'll let the fans decide, since I can't understand the song in its natural form I'll just enjoy the feel and not think about what the words I'm rocking to mean. Man those meanings are a pump beater.

Looking forward to Tag Force 5 if there is going to be one. For now I'll be milking Tag Force 4 for all its worth.

Empty Apartment

Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down
As I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes
You forget where the heart is

Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening
Now, can't you see something's missing
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life?
What's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

It's okay
It's okay
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My song of the week.

Hope vs Wish

Just remembered something from watchnight methinks.

To wish is merely to imagine something inconcieveable happening, but to HOPE is a state loaded with an expectation of a future development.

Truly, no more wishing.


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Simply unclear

I suppose everyone has thought themselves uniquely brilliant at one point or other in their youth. Yet daily now I see those illusions debunked and refuted. In each cryptic line and dispairing tone. Maybe I'm seeing the ghost of me that isn't present in these lives yet it is unsettling. We are aren't that different, yet unique enough to draw blanks upon scrutiny.

These lives, these people. Do I really know who, or what I'm talking to? What manner of humanity, with all it's liabilities, quirks and nuances are they which have eluded my notice?

Just when I was beginning to feel like I've settled my debts and left the past behind me. Just what are you?

Quote of e post:
Why do you do this to me
Why do you do this so easily

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Be objective minded

How do people stay fast and tough it out when everything goes to hell? What can give a person strength to go on when they are exhausted on all fronts? A belief, a goal- any goal: short term ones are best in the midst of the worst case scenarios. Keep a clear mind and grit your teeth while staying single minded and focused on grinding through one week, two hours, heck even one more step, one foot before the other will suffice as a short term goal when you feel like you are going to collapse in a heap and lose consciousness. When there is nothing which resembles any shred of normalcy you once knew and you need to continue forging ahead some people rely on God. I do too, but probably not in the same way. God gives me strength, mental strength- knowing that I am not alone, knowing that things could be a whole lot worse, knowing that in the event that everything really goes topside my future is secure.

How is God real to you? Not physically, but I sense Him, I feel His prompting and I hear His word. I see His hand at work in the mundane things in life. I recognize His sovereignty in the big events in life. More evidently, I witness the change He has wrought in the lives of those around me.

Pain is a sign that weakness is leaving your body. An unbreakable mind leads to an unyielding body. Pain can be ignored, pain can be swallowed, pain is bearable. One objective at a time, everything else in the world is secondary- this time, this place.

I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.