Haven't really come to terms with the idea that I'm leaving home to go to a foreign country for what must be the longest time ever in my short life. The second longest time was at least with family, this time it will be only full of strangers. And it won't be a holiday thats for sure. Ah, I don't know >.< Just not comfortable with the whole idea. I don't know if I'll sleep at all tonight. I have to get up and go to the airport quite early tomorrow.
Having some of the stupidest of problems. Namely like not being able to find a suitable carry on bag =/ Forget it, I think i'll just bring along my OPs bag as my civilliang bag. Its just so much more... comfortable. Not to mention convenient (since it is really quite spacious) but there will an increased propensity for me to bring uhh useless things.
Crap, I left the magnetic scrabble set in camp D: And I didn't have time to take the GBC games from Sylvia :( Oh well I didn't bring enough batteries to power the gbc throughout the trip anyway. I think I'll just bring a stack of books and be done with it. Maybe I'll finally finish some of them.
I'm boucing back and forth between emo-ing and getting worked up / excited over the trip. So it depends on which time of the day you asked me with regards to the answer you would recieve. All in all part of me hopes the entire affair will conclude itself asap, on the other hand another part of me wants to really feel and live the experience.
I really have to sleep >.> 5 hours left.
Quote of e Post:
And if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Follow Up
Perhaps one is unable to recognize a feeling for what it is. The signs the mind chooses to recognize and the signals the body sends can at time run contrary. Maybe there was some grounds for worry, thinly veiled and reinterpreted by the ever vigilant mind.
Still- isn't it quite natural? That there are people you just feel comfortable with- and it is natural to be compelled... To want to be close to them, protect them from harm. To make them laugh, and watch them smile. To see that glint in their eyes and hear their light laughter. To stand with them against the treacherous world and comfort them under trial. To hold their hand through cold frosty nights and fan each other under sweltering heat. To share sweet draughts under tinted skies and sing away the dank moonlight.
To steal secret moments of crackling bliss amidst little slivers of silence bound grief. To bolster one another amidst adversity and share each others pain.
Perhaps just maybe it happens once, twice, three times, too many times, too often. And so you say- after all these time, really: what do I know?
Honestly I thought that we could make it all the way,
Barefoot on beaches dancing against the gray.
But stone by stone the castle crumbled to the ground,
I stood and stared as you started to fall into the waves.
-
If I say who I know it just goes to show
You need me less than I need you
Take it from me
We don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody
But I said you and me
We don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
Traffic is perfectly still
-
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same
-
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed
-
Not that you're the one
Not to say I'm right
Not to say today
And not to say a thing tonight
.
But suffice it to say
We're leaving things unsaid
We sing ourselves to sleep
Watching the day lie down instead
All old stuff, but still I like The Fray >.< They haven't released an album you can buy in stores (the rest can be bought online) since 2003 and they grew popular on the back of two songs- How to Save a Life and Cable Car. But early this year they released a self titled album =/ (strange choice, self titled after so long?) I'm acquiring it now. Hope they don't disappoint me! Seems like many members have changed, please tell me they have retained the old style.
This weekend was super ultra busy! Even though we booked out early on Friday the briefing took more out of me then expected. RT in the morning then Rangers (I'm glad I went early) followed by discipleship class which was fun haha, the time flew by faster then I expected it to. Note to self, don't buy fries from the coffee shop haha.
Sunday was equally a blur but thankfully I manged to assemble everything I needed (I think) Service these days are all about going Back to Basics- I think God is really trying to tell this generation something. God never changes, He has never changed from the OT to the NT to now, yet there are less miracles, there is less "power"_ the only factor that has changed is us. I want to know what went wrong and where it fell so. Our lack of faith is disturbing.
The details of our trip are supposed to be secret so I can't tell it all (yea right) but suffice to say it will be testing, it will be tiring and it will be a new experience. Pray hard that I return in one piece.
Sometimes people ask me, why I "burn" all my Saturday and Sundays when I could be out doing "normal things" like watching movies, shopping and playing games. That we shouldn't be too into "religion" and "church things"- not that it is bad but devoting all weekends and even spending leave and off to pursue these- it is madness to them.
But I know one thing, and I am reminded by this quote by a missionary that "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose." And likewise with money and all other resources I have once read- if we consider all our life, time and money God given: then it no longer becomes a sacrifice on our part- instead tithing is our way of thanking God for letting us use the other 90% of His money! What a shift in thinking! Why do I use two days of my week to pursue God? Because I have "squandered" the other five days and I see it only fit that I offer Him what is due.
Tell me who- wants to look back on their youth and wonder where those years have gone? - I hope You Dance [Lee Ann Womack]
I am under-utilizing my new camera D:
Lord, point me who.
Quote of e Post:
Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
Still- isn't it quite natural? That there are people you just feel comfortable with- and it is natural to be compelled... To want to be close to them, protect them from harm. To make them laugh, and watch them smile. To see that glint in their eyes and hear their light laughter. To stand with them against the treacherous world and comfort them under trial. To hold their hand through cold frosty nights and fan each other under sweltering heat. To share sweet draughts under tinted skies and sing away the dank moonlight.
To steal secret moments of crackling bliss amidst little slivers of silence bound grief. To bolster one another amidst adversity and share each others pain.
Perhaps just maybe it happens once, twice, three times, too many times, too often. And so you say- after all these time, really: what do I know?
Honestly I thought that we could make it all the way,
Barefoot on beaches dancing against the gray.
But stone by stone the castle crumbled to the ground,
I stood and stared as you started to fall into the waves.
-
If I say who I know it just goes to show
You need me less than I need you
Take it from me
We don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody
But I said you and me
We don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
Traffic is perfectly still
-
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same
-
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed
-
Not that you're the one
Not to say I'm right
Not to say today
And not to say a thing tonight
.
But suffice it to say
We're leaving things unsaid
We sing ourselves to sleep
Watching the day lie down instead
All old stuff, but still I like The Fray >.< They haven't released an album you can buy in stores (the rest can be bought online) since 2003 and they grew popular on the back of two songs- How to Save a Life and Cable Car. But early this year they released a self titled album =/ (strange choice, self titled after so long?) I'm acquiring it now. Hope they don't disappoint me! Seems like many members have changed, please tell me they have retained the old style.
This weekend was super ultra busy! Even though we booked out early on Friday the briefing took more out of me then expected. RT in the morning then Rangers (I'm glad I went early) followed by discipleship class which was fun haha, the time flew by faster then I expected it to. Note to self, don't buy fries from the coffee shop haha.
Sunday was equally a blur but thankfully I manged to assemble everything I needed (I think) Service these days are all about going Back to Basics- I think God is really trying to tell this generation something. God never changes, He has never changed from the OT to the NT to now, yet there are less miracles, there is less "power"_ the only factor that has changed is us. I want to know what went wrong and where it fell so. Our lack of faith is disturbing.
The details of our trip are supposed to be secret so I can't tell it all (yea right) but suffice to say it will be testing, it will be tiring and it will be a new experience. Pray hard that I return in one piece.
Sometimes people ask me, why I "burn" all my Saturday and Sundays when I could be out doing "normal things" like watching movies, shopping and playing games. That we shouldn't be too into "religion" and "church things"- not that it is bad but devoting all weekends and even spending leave and off to pursue these- it is madness to them.
But I know one thing, and I am reminded by this quote by a missionary that "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose." And likewise with money and all other resources I have once read- if we consider all our life, time and money God given: then it no longer becomes a sacrifice on our part- instead tithing is our way of thanking God for letting us use the other 90% of His money! What a shift in thinking! Why do I use two days of my week to pursue God? Because I have "squandered" the other five days and I see it only fit that I offer Him what is due.
Tell me who- wants to look back on their youth and wonder where those years have gone? - I hope You Dance [Lee Ann Womack]
I am under-utilizing my new camera D:
Lord, point me who.
Quote of e Post:
Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Small little fears
Only being able to update ONCE a week is super annoying... Because by the time I come round to it the impact is lost- because I forget haha.
Less then two weeks left to ROC and still no news! Are they planning to leave us hanging and go "SURPRISE! Lets go now!" D: Its totally ridiculous. This is a BIG event, there has got to be some measure of preparation and such. Still have only a sketchy idea what we're going to do over there... the unknown makes things scarier then it actually is (or isn't).
Outfield tomorrow D: Operation Rising Spartan- Hope this means I still have nights out on Tuesday... or more accurately. I hope this means I dont still have guard duty on tuesday. If I come back from outfield and still need to do guard duty I'm going to flip! There just aren't enough people in C4 even with SP5 in because of all the chaokeng and Pes C people. Haiz, more work to go around, less people to do it! Aren't the juniors supposed to be helping lighten our workload?? D:
SIX MORE MONTHS- I can't help but wait
Last night was creepy. Frighteningly enough I didn't really consider such possibility... you're like the cool little sister my uhh not so cool little sister isn't turning out to be. And I hope I'm like the brother your brother sadly somehow- isn't how you and your parents imagined him to be. Its that simple, hand in glove. What does it mean to "back off"? =/
The Click Five - Mary Jane
I didn't cry the day you moved away
I didn't think that I could feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you
Whatever happened to our innocence
And the somethin' that you said about being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be
That nothings gonna change
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can't you see
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Oh whatever happened to
Mary Jane
I need to wake up from this state of mind
This situation is a staying kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head
Would you catch me if I had to fall
Would you even find the time for that at all
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be
That nothings gonna change
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can't you see
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Oh whatever happened to
Mary Jane
Cause time has taken back
Everything I thought we had
Tell me how (Mary Jane)
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be
Nothings gonna change
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can't you see
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Oh whatever happened to
Mary Jane
Oh whatever happened to Mary Jane
-----------------------------------
Quote of e Post:
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Less then two weeks left to ROC and still no news! Are they planning to leave us hanging and go "SURPRISE! Lets go now!" D: Its totally ridiculous. This is a BIG event, there has got to be some measure of preparation and such. Still have only a sketchy idea what we're going to do over there... the unknown makes things scarier then it actually is (or isn't).
Outfield tomorrow D: Operation Rising Spartan- Hope this means I still have nights out on Tuesday... or more accurately. I hope this means I dont still have guard duty on tuesday. If I come back from outfield and still need to do guard duty I'm going to flip! There just aren't enough people in C4 even with SP5 in because of all the chaokeng and Pes C people. Haiz, more work to go around, less people to do it! Aren't the juniors supposed to be helping lighten our workload?? D:
SIX MORE MONTHS- I can't help but wait
Last night was creepy. Frighteningly enough I didn't really consider such possibility... you're like the cool little sister my uhh not so cool little sister isn't turning out to be. And I hope I'm like the brother your brother sadly somehow- isn't how you and your parents imagined him to be. Its that simple, hand in glove. What does it mean to "back off"? =/
The Click Five - Mary Jane
I didn't cry the day you moved away
I didn't think that I could feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you
Whatever happened to our innocence
And the somethin' that you said about being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be
That nothings gonna change
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can't you see
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Oh whatever happened to
Mary Jane
I need to wake up from this state of mind
This situation is a staying kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head
Would you catch me if I had to fall
Would you even find the time for that at all
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be
That nothings gonna change
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can't you see
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Oh whatever happened to
Mary Jane
Cause time has taken back
Everything I thought we had
Tell me how (Mary Jane)
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be
Nothings gonna change
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can't you see
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Oh whatever happened to
Mary Jane
Oh whatever happened to Mary Jane
-----------------------------------
Quote of e Post:
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Dare not speak
But cinnamon rolls won't hug you back, and they go to pieces if you cry on them.
What can I do?
What can I do?
ROC approaches as NTC wanes
OH MY GOSH TIME TRAVELS IN A BLINK! It passes kind of fast, but not fast enough =/
NTC is over. It was a wonderful experience :) Not alot more to say. I miss going to training camps (actually just camps, period- round up and kelong here i COME!)
But while NTC ends it signals the entry of May. And the entry of May brings with it the introduction of ROC!! Going to Taiwan at the end of the month (28th I think) means that I ahve barely 3 weeks left before I go off to a foreign land for half a month T___T My apprehension was the same as the apprehension I had towards NTC. But now after the camp- I have learnt to take things in my stride. I can't be as bad as I think it is- well naturally it would not end as quickly as NTC and the staff would be no where as near as supportive and caring. But still I belive God can bring me through this too. If there was one thing NTC helped me with it would be to grapple with the upcoming ROC.
That means I ahve to go pack. Again. Time to hit beach road and stock up on heavy duty ziplock bags.
I wanted to watch X-men Origins: Wolverine! D: Its kinda petty to keep going back to this but meh. No fun watching movies alone right?
Time to go back in again, strike days off a calender. 5 days to go to the next weekend. 3 more weeks to ROC.
Quote of Post:
Kopi O! Someone KO!
Coca Cola 7 up!
NTC is over. It was a wonderful experience :) Not alot more to say. I miss going to training camps (actually just camps, period- round up and kelong here i COME!)
But while NTC ends it signals the entry of May. And the entry of May brings with it the introduction of ROC!! Going to Taiwan at the end of the month (28th I think) means that I ahve barely 3 weeks left before I go off to a foreign land for half a month T___T My apprehension was the same as the apprehension I had towards NTC. But now after the camp- I have learnt to take things in my stride. I can't be as bad as I think it is- well naturally it would not end as quickly as NTC and the staff would be no where as near as supportive and caring. But still I belive God can bring me through this too. If there was one thing NTC helped me with it would be to grapple with the upcoming ROC.
That means I ahve to go pack. Again. Time to hit beach road and stock up on heavy duty ziplock bags.
I wanted to watch X-men Origins: Wolverine! D: Its kinda petty to keep going back to this but meh. No fun watching movies alone right?
Time to go back in again, strike days off a calender. 5 days to go to the next weekend. 3 more weeks to ROC.
Quote of Post:
Kopi O! Someone KO!
Coca Cola 7 up!
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