Round Table

Today was the RR mooncake festival celebration. It was great fun preparing (since I had work to do) and clearing up but the actual event itself wasn't much to roar about. In fact it was mundanely boring- since many of my fellow ERs were in RBC rather than at the event. They only reappeared at 10pm after everything was over. Just isn't the same.

I've already updated so I'm a little tired out but this place is different. This will be an exposure, it will be rather painful and its written more of my own peace of mind than anyone's reading pleasure. I am not considering the repercussions of this action at this moment.

There is a rather exclusive group that I'm fortunate to be part of. The 15 odd (fluctuates) of us have stuck through pretty much hell and high water and each and every one of them are valuable to me, I'm not sure if I am allowed to call them all friends but their mere presence has a soothing effect almost unmatched by any other. I'm only covering a few members for it would take far too long to create an extensive list.

We begin with the mentor, she leads us, guides us and is understanding as far as it is within her capability. Occasionally she begins to crack a little but nevertheless overall I could ask for no better a guide in that team. Following is the semi-tutor. Thing is, having known him for so long it is difficult to respect him as one who is in charge, especially not when most of his actions do no exemplify the image he ought to be producing, but that is just the way he is.

We move on the the stoic looking one, ice princess that she is, cool and collected like a marble statue- pale and beautiful. Her contribution I must recognize as a certain chemistry within the group, and isn't as much a practical tangible quality as it is a subtle and passive effect. Her sister on the other had adds life and noise. Her boisterous outbursts and reactions are second only to her devotion to her work- she works hard and plays hard, is good with children and certainly lives up to her gifting.

Her comrade in arms is the singer, not merely his voice but his being is a personification of praise and worship in itself. It has become to him a lifestyle, remarkable indeed, he is endearing to those who are close to him in his own way. Such as the empath amongst us, she is very sensitive to changes and movements, and is staunch and mature beyond usual expectations. She thus is as reliable a person as none other to those who manage their way into her life. Its true that being in love makes one glow, she does truly have a very tangible beauty these days.

Then we have the joker who lets up far less than he knows, playing the fool to compliment out half-tutor he is deadly effective when serious and can achieve great things if he put his soul to it. Beside him would be the living stone, as great an enigma to me as the rest but with tantalizing glaces into his life- he does seem to care a great lot but is disassociated when questioned.

A confidant of his would be the cute but lurking baker. A few of us had rescued her into the fold and her growth has been exemplary. I am unsure how far she has progressed since then but she does seem to do well. Which brings me down to the last one. A long missing member who was on a trip of great personal encounter and growth she has finally returned and her presence is as enlightening as her input. Though I don't think she has contributed much yet as more opportunities open up her value will shine through.

What is the point of listing out so many people? I have no idea, I just wrote what I felt was right to me- and it has led me to an insight. This motley crew could be as close as family when need be and can vary in strength with great potential. I for one do not see where I fit in, there isn't much I can contribute at the moment and soaking up their presence is like a sin in itself. I hope by the next meeting I am able to show my presence to a far better light than it is now.

I had planned to write something that concerned a radio article and Anna's post but I'm totally bushed. 4am it is.



Its a lovely song by a local artiste. Maybe I should invest in am album.

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Not seeing them now will make seeing them the next day that much harder

Explodet

My course is coming to an end, and I have yet to pass. Perhaps I just won't pass, and return to my unit having woken up from a nice 2 month long dream, a respite from my life for the next year. Its funny, how even scum, from drug dealers to serial child murderers can drive but yet I can't even earn a military driving license. Certain people are worth their weight in gold, thank all of you for supporting and encouraging me all this time, I'm sorry for having let you down.

Its been raining so heavily recently, at all the odd times, almost every single day- naturally many people are bound to fall ill. Please do take care of yourself and have plenty of rest, I can't stress enough how important rest it. My health has improved by leaps and bound ever since I've been imposed with a minimum of 6 hours sleep each night. (The food is bound to have something to do with this since anything that tastes so weird ought to be good- or else)

I was having a great day. But somehow I just feel that some small insensitivity of mine has caused someone a great deal of misery. I know it was inappropriate, I could have simply given my approval and support but it didn't tally with my beliefs. And there's hardly a thing worse than being a hypocrite. On hindsight, I could have just turned the topic to safer ground but we were bound to end up there again, and I could have just kept silent. But some people, I just can't resist, I cannot ignore. I can't help myself or help you help me if all I have to work on is a silent wall of i-dont-knows. Its awkward, and I hate it, living should never be this difficult.



The Script, the man who can't be moved. Some people (actually I believe many people) see that this is a stupid song, but its a really cool song to me. Its a song about something so stupid that only silly people like me would have thought about trying something like that (I have lol- but thats a different story for a different time)



Its been a good 4? Or 5 years since I've first seen that picture. Still so true.

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Love is the movement, Rescue is possible.

Laguna Inc.

I'm watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Scratch that, its 2 hours later and I've JUST watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I know its old. I know its a really fu- messed up show. But there's just something about it, and yea I love it. I can't remember why I even went to watch it (I vaguely remember reading it on a blog or something, thanks whoever that is)

There were a ton of things on my mind but Im not in any state to expel them right now.

Maybe later today. Ja ne.

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A healthy soul clings to a healthy mind and a healthy body

Everywhere

Hooray! I finally got this page up. Blogger has been denying me access all day long. Now I can only access the home page but not any blogs- quite an irritating. MY computer is screwed up, that's all I'd care to say on the subject. Guess its time for a reformat again, nothing else seems to work.

I'm sick! This past week we were outfield and I swear I caught something. My nose runs, my head hurts and the stretch between my throat to my nose feels like its on fire. Eating and drinking is a chore! Feels like I'm going to just suffer this long weekend over.

I'm taking my TP on Monday. By God's grace I NEED to pass on the FIRST try- or be hopelessly left behind schedule. Seems like they've decided to put us back on the course all the way to the end. Meaning instead of me returning on the 5th, I'm probably leaving on either the 16th or in the 20 odd days. A good thing since we get to slack more on course, a bad thing since we are already time strapped to train for taking over operations from the previous batch as it is.

I finished reading Blink! And even though its supposedly some international bestseller I'm sorely disappointed. It was supposed to be a book that teaches you to utilize your innate unconscious instincts of thin-slicing to make accurate snap decisions. Instead what I found was an entire book of examples and explanations on how in certain cases this instincts can be fooled and how in other cases these instincts are not reliable. Basically all he did was to describe in great detail about WHAT and HOW it works but in almost no way did he teach you how to use it better than the way it already is (which is, instinctively). While I did feel a rad more well educated it did absolutely nothing for me practically. Bugger, I'm returning that book to the library asap.

On a completely random note, the bendy buses by TIBS are like so fun. Especially when you stand at the bendy pat on an uneven ground surface! Bumpity bumpity bump bump bump!

Gragh, my throat is killing me, and so is my head. I think I'll like go sleep first, be back online later to settle some stuff. Signing off, till next time.

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You're everywhere to me
When I close my eyes its you I see