Who me?

Well yes I've really really been neglecting this place. The course is busy and its full of nonsense that keeps me up and busy throughout the weekends even. The theory is tough and the practical is mentally draining like nothing I've done before (perhaps similar but not like economics). Outfield sucks as per usual but I think I can't reveal any more about this than I already have. Only 3 more weeks to go, and then a few more weeks and its a happy 1/4 of my NS life gone past.

My play-list is so uplifting the rain this morning made me feel like crying. Perhaps it had something to do with the two tests back to back but thats another story to tell. Excerpts tell the complete story, the halfway point marks the entire journey.

"And everybody heres, from somewhere else
You could make a million dollars, but you might lose yourself
And you can take the heat will your heart go cold
They say acting’s just pretending, even that gets old

And there’s never any rain, when you want it
A hollow little game, and you’ve won it
Looking for a thrill but you’ve done it all

So long, put your blue jeans back on girl
Go home
Remember Hollywood’s not America"

"Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I finally find
You and I collide"

"If you said jump! Id say how high?
If you said run! you know Id fly
Just for the chance
Just for the moment
Should the moment pass us by
And if you ask once Ill tell you twice
I'll ignore the worlds advice
If we could be together
For a while"

"I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know
then I can't remember caring for an hour or so
started crying and I couldn't stop myself
I started running but there's no where to run to
I sat down on the street, took a look at myself
said where you going man you know the world is headed for hell
say all goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to "

"Close your eyes, take a breath
Don't let yourself forget
You are strong
Look how far you've come
Pick yourself off the floor
You know you still got more
You are strong
Look at how far you've come"

"Use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and I know ill be okay
though my skies are turning gray"

"I can't stand myself
I'm being held up by invisible men
Still life on a shelf when
I've got my mind on something else
Sunny days, oh where have you gone
I get the strangest feeling you belong

Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining I can't avoid the lightning"

I'm glad to have sorted out a few many things recently, well theoretically in the way of conversations but still its progress unlike any other. Still living, still breathing, still living, still breathing. Do I know what I think I am supposed to know? Who are you?

Hollywoods' not America, OCS is not SAF, radios' not music and you're not the world.
Now all I need to do is believe it.

Quote of e Post:
love is not finding someone you can live with, its finding someone you cant live without