Wasted Weekend

I had to reformat my computer today, it totally sucks since I didn't remember to back up some really irreplaceable stuff. Bleh, I'm going to sound totally whiny because I am. Ha- I can totally imagine Enoch's face now, because he got chucked into an infantry vocation along with all his pompous airs and holier than thou attitude. Yea, its so bitchy but who cares- pissed people don't have the liberty to talk trash now do they?

Signals ain't all that bad, I'm quite enjoying it no matter how much I complain to whoever, whenever. I can't remember the last time I had fun with the Rangers, it sure feels damn weird. Time is flowing backwards, its a mockery of progress- I can't see the road ahead if it looks just like the roads before.

I'm sad, and tired. Losing everything makes me sad, being unable to replace it makes me sadder. Dropping off now. Drown in sleep, lets delay our misery~



The Fray- All At Once
There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another
To another

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One look puts the rhythm in my head

POP lo!

Good morning Singapore, REC PRIVATE Loh is up and about haha. POP was nothing much actually- and we screwed it up mighty muchly. I'm gonna like kick someone, something is gnawing away inside and I just can't get it out~ I'm not satisfied with how the POP went, how the entire thing went. From enlisting, to having all the inter platoon discord, to all the inter coy conflict, to games day, to field camp, to sit test, everything was just so mighty ruined.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down
Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
One look puts the rhythm in my head.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world bears a consequence
If you wait around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say you're right again,
Say you're right again,
Heed my lecture.

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

One day she will tell you that she had enough
It's coming round again(2x)

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found

Face down in the dirt she said
"This doesn't hurt" she said "I finally had enough."(2x)
------------------------------------

How the heck did we even present this for OC's night? Now it's stuck in my head. But I know this is how it is, you're well taken care of- I won't have to worry.

I'm gonna go out, knock back a few pints (not anything alcoholic for sure), Sing shout scream dance whatever and pretend to enjoy my free time before posting tomorrow. Its the least I can do for all the nice people who have endured all of life's shit for the past 15 weeks with me. Bottoms up, to a new life. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

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so if you wanna burn yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna cut yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna kill yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, i'll be your friend

Pii Oh Pii~ soon

Its tough deciding on what course to go to. Its even tougher wondering where you'll end up after posting. Scratch that, its tougher to decide on your course. Course wise I have until April first to decide but for NS with only a few more days left until POP, I wonder where we'll all go. I'm oscillating between psychology and communications and new media if and that is most likely, when I don't get into law. Which I don't think I will. Maybe business~ I have no clear idea.

Blegh, stupid rushy nonsense, I can't blog now.

I guess it figures. Money sure makes love go in horrid places.

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Money is the root of all evil

A-level Results

I'm ignoring all calls and sms-es until I've quietened down. Results are alright, lets just say that I gained where I worked and slipped where I didn't. The scale was raised but the levels were almost as I had expected. I have to give God the glory, this was very unexpected and I thought I'd do horrendously worse, something in the area of Cs and Ds for what I'm fine at and Ungraded for things I suck at (like math). And no, I'm not going to die in tomorrow's grenade throw.

As for life after this, I don't know. Its like after I got my results, I went tailspin into a psychometric rotation. Had to sit down and recompose myself for a few minutes before standing up and going around to give my congrats and appreciation to others. I got a GP A, Lit A and a very surprising History A. But I also got an Economics D which was absolutely horrifying and an E for math which was quite a relief since I thought I'd fail. So as to where I'm going- that will depend as I wait and see. Application starts tomorrow I think, I'll be reading up plenty tonight. I have to book in again, heaven knows what they're up to, shifting our grenade throw to Saturday.

Everyone is POPing next week, except for us, the obese batch, who will pop the week AFTER. One week less to party, one week more to slave. I'll blog more tomorrow.

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Money makes the world go round, but love makes sure its spent wisely

3 more weeks

I'm going to POP in 18 days time! Wow- the coming 2+ weeks will encompass the longest route march ever (24km) and our last chance to secretly murder our commanders grenade throw. After that Its rather smooth sailing to POP. Then getting posted out is another story- damn I think I'm going to end up in SISPEC >.> Suffer In Silence Plus Extra Confinement.

Seeing one of our dear, uhh beloved, uhh umm entertaining platoon mates get posted out due to OOT really strikes a chord. Keng-ing is one thing but getting really injured is another. Imagine the disappointment and sorrow that one would have to deal with if you were forced to leave due to an injury- especially so close to POP. As for people who want to keng, down PES or whatever nonsense, I don't understand and I can't comprehend why would anyone in their sane mind want to pretend to be crazy, or risk permanent injury/disability just to escape 2 years of serving the nation that has bred, raised, supported and groomed you into the excellent person you are today. Have you no pride in yourself, your nation, or for the safety and security of your loved ones? Take the chance and seize the opportunity- being a damn lowlife for 2 years will not make you popular or happy.

My uncle was an officer, my father was an artillery sergeant. Both had lived lives and done things I've never known or even realized they could do or could have done. Another cousin of mine is an officer and is studying on scholarship. I'm glad that these people around me aren't like the mass of quivering spineless degenerates who try their hardest to do their least in the army. I am proud to say my country has, and is doing its part for the nation. The escape of the JI leader recently has re-instilled that concept firmly in my mind- that we alone must protect Singapore, and that in times of uncertainty and danger such as thus, if we don't, who will.

Enough about army life, everyone just likes complaining about how army people always talk about their life in the army, but army is like a mini life- its the world shrunk into a small complex. You meet all kinds of people, and endure shit everyday, sounds like real life to me.

In a few weeks time, a new life will await me. And I'm not talking about being posted out, I'm talking about A-level results. Yes, yes, its been such a long wait, I'm sure many like me have become so sick and tired of waiting that they just aren't anxious anymore and want to get it over and done with. Listening to George talk yesterday, while we may not have been in the same vein (I've never topped anything in SRJC like he did in YJ) I'd shudder to think of how similar our paths are/were. I'd never imagined that the random guy I threw a bar of soap at years ago would ever come back and haunt me. I figured he was some adult whom I'll never see ever again, then again, at that time, no one was permanent to me. I never really registered the reality that he still exists in the same time as I and we would be in such close contact (kind of). Thing is, God made a work out of his life, clearly there was no mistakes there. Now as my turn comes closer, would I make the same "mistakes" or have I my own path to walk. My style? Or God's will?

I have to leave home soon. These 12 weeks have been a wonderful blessing. But I still can't do a single fucking pullup. Balls to IPPT.

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Peace birthed of war is the most long lasting kind