ZOMG lol I took my sister's "How well do you know me" quiz on facebook and only got 40% right lol (she only got 42% right on mine but whatever) Strangely amusing but also a little sobering.
Its my off day- and Im clearing up my room. Finally. It really is a terrible mess- I haven't met ANYONE whose room is messier and dustier then mine >.< Every time I try to clear up I unearth all these- things. Relics of an ancient time. Of a better time- and the more you clear the more you realise that time buried here has passed and is gone. Christmas cards, old gifts, memorabilia, letters, books, newspaper clippings, brochures, scraps of paper with "invaluable" tidbits written on them. All these things amalgamated constitute my memories. Years of existance living within this room sedimented in layers of dust, papers and books.
*hours later* (good thing i typed this on wordpad. Kept dc-ing today)
Whew. Alot neater- now I can see most of the floor! Threw away plenty of things, things ill prolly never reacquire ever again but its ok. Their value will live on as memories in my mind. (until I forget that is then it wont even matter)
Deployment is in full swing so I've taken to playing Monster Hunter haha- a time consuming, grind heavy game that is well suited for multiplayer. Perfect for times when you need to burn alot of time, live in closely packed surroundings and have very little to do in the way of entertainment. It is pure madness I tell you, m a d n e s s. Gunner is so hum ji but X3 pew pew!
Have-to-run-tomorrow (sianded)
Quote of e post:
It takes a woman 20 years to turn her boy into a man and another woman 20seconds to turn him into a fool.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Want to go SO MUCH!
Deployment is going to start again. But this time it is a RETARDED deployment. I don't want to go since it would mean missing- you guessed it- yet ANOTHER CGT! That is like EVERY SINGLE CGT since ever! D: I WANNA GO!!
With the new movie out the harry potter hype is running amok again all around. But to me, the magic is gibberish. Magic ought to be fluid, a force or energy which can be shaped and given property depending on the user's desired outcome. Not hanging on the pronunciation of some nonsensical words. That at least is how I would envision magic should it exist. IRL, the real magic in life is in words. Bits of letters coming together to create new meaning and birth life in sentences- growing more vivid and powerful in paragraphs. Almost everything can be reduced or magnified in words.
My PSP is becoming more and more essential in camp haha. All the nifty firmware out there is helping out alot :3 Now if only my X button and analogue weren't dying on me I'd be more then happy with the device (then again, a PSP3000 wouldn't hurt in the least bit :P I like the yellow one, if there is a red one I want it!)
The one good thing about being a NSF? The decent cash flow. Thinking of applying for a debit card. But I know that once that door of internet shopping is open it is a tough temptation to defy! Should I or should I not? I'm going to go totally flat broke by the end of the year at this rate T__T how to save money when it gets spent unconsciously on legitimate concerns! I haven't even gone into the luxury part of spending money yet! T_T A little here to transport, a little there to meals on weekends, chip in a bit for some cause here, toss out a little for nights out there and *POOF* like magic. Almost all gone. Like a flare.
Paula wrote at length about not waiting for the one but preparing for the chosen one. Having the excuse of waiting for the one is just too convenient I must agree- and then if so, how would you know? Still putting the ball back in our court by saying - "choose" and stick with it to make it work. That is a tall order. Like that Maroon 5 song says- "its not always rainbows and butterflies, its compromise that moves us along". Making it work, heck- and who ever said just the starting was hard?
I didn't go for the SRJC gala thing thing, nor did I go for a whole lot of 21st birthday parties. There just isn't the time to go through such things at length. When there is time, the situations are all wrong. When there isn't time- or when there are events, things just pop up and I can't make it. Yet after the past few experiences I wonder. Would I have lost anything at all by not being there? Is it alright to have a small close knit (alright, fine not exactly close knit just regularly meeting) bunch of friends. I wouldn't say we're close and I don't really feel the time spent was invested (no returns) so someone tell me- which is the right path to take? God forbid I go for everything or nothing at all.
I took off- and as it turned out no one was free. Major bummer. Tomorrow is a relatively free day- so I'm not to annoyed. Just can't forget how much I like Chuck Palahniuk. His books are abit coarse but woooo loverly. Next, Iva Levin of Stepford Wives fame. (yes that movie) Delicious.
Quote of e Post:
The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. (That is why I read)
With the new movie out the harry potter hype is running amok again all around. But to me, the magic is gibberish. Magic ought to be fluid, a force or energy which can be shaped and given property depending on the user's desired outcome. Not hanging on the pronunciation of some nonsensical words. That at least is how I would envision magic should it exist. IRL, the real magic in life is in words. Bits of letters coming together to create new meaning and birth life in sentences- growing more vivid and powerful in paragraphs. Almost everything can be reduced or magnified in words.
My PSP is becoming more and more essential in camp haha. All the nifty firmware out there is helping out alot :3 Now if only my X button and analogue weren't dying on me I'd be more then happy with the device (then again, a PSP3000 wouldn't hurt in the least bit :P I like the yellow one, if there is a red one I want it!)
The one good thing about being a NSF? The decent cash flow. Thinking of applying for a debit card. But I know that once that door of internet shopping is open it is a tough temptation to defy! Should I or should I not? I'm going to go totally flat broke by the end of the year at this rate T__T how to save money when it gets spent unconsciously on legitimate concerns! I haven't even gone into the luxury part of spending money yet! T_T A little here to transport, a little there to meals on weekends, chip in a bit for some cause here, toss out a little for nights out there and *POOF* like magic. Almost all gone. Like a flare.
Paula wrote at length about not waiting for the one but preparing for the chosen one. Having the excuse of waiting for the one is just too convenient I must agree- and then if so, how would you know? Still putting the ball back in our court by saying - "choose" and stick with it to make it work. That is a tall order. Like that Maroon 5 song says- "its not always rainbows and butterflies, its compromise that moves us along". Making it work, heck- and who ever said just the starting was hard?
I didn't go for the SRJC gala thing thing, nor did I go for a whole lot of 21st birthday parties. There just isn't the time to go through such things at length. When there is time, the situations are all wrong. When there isn't time- or when there are events, things just pop up and I can't make it. Yet after the past few experiences I wonder. Would I have lost anything at all by not being there? Is it alright to have a small close knit (alright, fine not exactly close knit just regularly meeting) bunch of friends. I wouldn't say we're close and I don't really feel the time spent was invested (no returns) so someone tell me- which is the right path to take? God forbid I go for everything or nothing at all.
I took off- and as it turned out no one was free. Major bummer. Tomorrow is a relatively free day- so I'm not to annoyed. Just can't forget how much I like Chuck Palahniuk. His books are abit coarse but woooo loverly. Next, Iva Levin of Stepford Wives fame. (yes that movie) Delicious.
Quote of e Post:
The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. (That is why I read)
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Two Party Dichotomy
Congrats to Rong Sheng for becoming the newly appointed Outpost Commander of Singapore Royal Rangers Outpost #1! Wheeee- it is a great honor to know you as a friend and as a fellow Ranger. I believe God's call on your life will send echoes and ripples impacting the lives of many others in this new role.
I just taught my FIRST lesson to my ARs ^_^ They sure are capable and decisive once they get down to it. I can vaguely begin to see how this can turn out to be a rewarding enterprise. CRR was fun :) Sadly I didn't have the presence of mind to be snapping pictures and Dilys had to leave early so the only imprint we have left of the event would be those caught through our eyes and seared to our brains - muddled by our own individual discrepancies and bias.
Last night I went for a total of two BBQ parties. They were so starkly different and painfully contrasting that I couldn't help but stop and think about how my life would have turned out- on two different ends of the spectrum.
One was RR thanksgiving for Round Up, all the ERs naturally were invited as well :) It was wholesome (somewhat) and incredibly fun. We ate, fellowshipped, worked and played together as a singular unit. The outpost. We cooked for one another and we ate together. We cleared up as a collective and we got a ride home even from people who lived out of the way- by then it was already 10.45pm. After a quick change I left and set out for SA's birthday party at his house- never for once thinking about the consequences and situations I would be faced with.
The first thing I was struck by from arrival to departure was the heavy stench of cigarette smoke in the air. I think within that 3 hours or so there I have inhaled more then my week's or even two week's worth of second hand smoke. Only going through those open gates and passing a few half-hearted greetings to old acquaintances did the severity of my displacement begin to emerge. Save for the host who, I have somehow managed to stay in contact with I have had precious little to say and share with the rest. I neither smoke, nor drank and the pounding noise that passed for music was pleasantly out of discernible range inside the house. I happily settled outside on the porch with the BBQ pit- resisting offers of food with a vengeance.
As more and more unfamiliar faces left and more familiar but relatively unknown faces popped up I felt drawn into a circle of conversation. Revolving conveniently around army, clubbing (which I have no experience of), girls and flings (of whom the names and descriptions are beyond me), drinks (which I have no interest in) and the old times. Needless to say I was a quiet observer much of the time there_ joining in only on topics where I would have any say at all.
Nearing 2 I was settled and reluctant to move. Inertia had taken its toll and me and I was comfortable sitting in that circle watching events go by until someone started rounds of drinks. The colorful bottles and intoxicating smells evaded me was I watched them mix, pour and gulp down shot glass after glass. Initially they somewhat respected my choice (It is with some small pride that they did say: what do you expect? He is Chang Xiang_ he does not drink) but as the night dragged on and inhibitions fell clouded by the smoke I did not realize that all our inhibitions had begun to slip. I was this close to a shot glass full of some transparent fluid (which by mere virtue of smell made me nauseous- it was that close to my face) when I decided it was time to take a stand and leave. No one, nobody in the world could challenge me to do something I had resolved not to. Not even old friends, for their face- not even on their 21st birthday. I had to leave.
Walking home (it was well past 2, no more public transport) I felt humbled by the experience. It must have been the prompting and courage of the Holy Spirit that I took the step of Faith. I may have spoilt some people's fun and I may have seemed unsporting. And I do sincerely apologize but there are lines in life we must not cross. I took a stand and I am proud of it.
One party, full of life and laughter, with people around who care and love one another. The other also full of laughter, but hollow, fueled by drunkenness and debauchery (out of sight at least) and of unsatisfied lives chasing the next mambo, the next shot glass, that next number, that next fling, full of people but devoid of humanity, one can easily feel very alone in a flood of familiar but equally lost faces. I felt like I have been put through a lot within a span of a day. I've seen what a life could become without Godly guidance and the simple pull of social norms. And I now pray that the righteous stand firm and maintain the standards of God who is the same yesterday, today and forever. As the old conservative generation passes for the new younger generation- I pray that the status quo is maintained, that the values which many have fought hard and long to protect will not fall to the docile, scheming enemy under the misused flag of freedom.
I know it is a ridiculous time but I can't get to sleep without getting this off my chest and my head. Blessed be the Lord our shield and strong tower.
Quote of e Post:
Heaven and earth will fade
But His word will still remain
I just taught my FIRST lesson to my ARs ^_^ They sure are capable and decisive once they get down to it. I can vaguely begin to see how this can turn out to be a rewarding enterprise. CRR was fun :) Sadly I didn't have the presence of mind to be snapping pictures and Dilys had to leave early so the only imprint we have left of the event would be those caught through our eyes and seared to our brains - muddled by our own individual discrepancies and bias.
Last night I went for a total of two BBQ parties. They were so starkly different and painfully contrasting that I couldn't help but stop and think about how my life would have turned out- on two different ends of the spectrum.
One was RR thanksgiving for Round Up, all the ERs naturally were invited as well :) It was wholesome (somewhat) and incredibly fun. We ate, fellowshipped, worked and played together as a singular unit. The outpost. We cooked for one another and we ate together. We cleared up as a collective and we got a ride home even from people who lived out of the way- by then it was already 10.45pm. After a quick change I left and set out for SA's birthday party at his house- never for once thinking about the consequences and situations I would be faced with.
The first thing I was struck by from arrival to departure was the heavy stench of cigarette smoke in the air. I think within that 3 hours or so there I have inhaled more then my week's or even two week's worth of second hand smoke. Only going through those open gates and passing a few half-hearted greetings to old acquaintances did the severity of my displacement begin to emerge. Save for the host who, I have somehow managed to stay in contact with I have had precious little to say and share with the rest. I neither smoke, nor drank and the pounding noise that passed for music was pleasantly out of discernible range inside the house. I happily settled outside on the porch with the BBQ pit- resisting offers of food with a vengeance.
As more and more unfamiliar faces left and more familiar but relatively unknown faces popped up I felt drawn into a circle of conversation. Revolving conveniently around army, clubbing (which I have no experience of), girls and flings (of whom the names and descriptions are beyond me), drinks (which I have no interest in) and the old times. Needless to say I was a quiet observer much of the time there_ joining in only on topics where I would have any say at all.
Nearing 2 I was settled and reluctant to move. Inertia had taken its toll and me and I was comfortable sitting in that circle watching events go by until someone started rounds of drinks. The colorful bottles and intoxicating smells evaded me was I watched them mix, pour and gulp down shot glass after glass. Initially they somewhat respected my choice (It is with some small pride that they did say: what do you expect? He is Chang Xiang_ he does not drink) but as the night dragged on and inhibitions fell clouded by the smoke I did not realize that all our inhibitions had begun to slip. I was this close to a shot glass full of some transparent fluid (which by mere virtue of smell made me nauseous- it was that close to my face) when I decided it was time to take a stand and leave. No one, nobody in the world could challenge me to do something I had resolved not to. Not even old friends, for their face- not even on their 21st birthday. I had to leave.
Walking home (it was well past 2, no more public transport) I felt humbled by the experience. It must have been the prompting and courage of the Holy Spirit that I took the step of Faith. I may have spoilt some people's fun and I may have seemed unsporting. And I do sincerely apologize but there are lines in life we must not cross. I took a stand and I am proud of it.
One party, full of life and laughter, with people around who care and love one another. The other also full of laughter, but hollow, fueled by drunkenness and debauchery (out of sight at least) and of unsatisfied lives chasing the next mambo, the next shot glass, that next number, that next fling, full of people but devoid of humanity, one can easily feel very alone in a flood of familiar but equally lost faces. I felt like I have been put through a lot within a span of a day. I've seen what a life could become without Godly guidance and the simple pull of social norms. And I now pray that the righteous stand firm and maintain the standards of God who is the same yesterday, today and forever. As the old conservative generation passes for the new younger generation- I pray that the status quo is maintained, that the values which many have fought hard and long to protect will not fall to the docile, scheming enemy under the misused flag of freedom.
I know it is a ridiculous time but I can't get to sleep without getting this off my chest and my head. Blessed be the Lord our shield and strong tower.
Quote of e Post:
Heaven and earth will fade
But His word will still remain
Thursday, July 02, 2009
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