I Only Love Crazy People

Alright so I'm sure no one reads this now... lol. I've moved back to Maju, life there still sucks; no matter how I might have imagined otherwise. Sigh.

I got guard duty tomorrow, on a public holiday AGAIN. Whats up with the SAF and my public holidays?

Life is just sad. I just feel sad. Maybe its the rain, maybe its the lifestyle im not used to, maybe its the disappointments I've faced regarding my return to 6SIR. Maybe just maybe, im cracking up- not in the laughing way.

Its tough when its takes a web-comic to make you realize you actually need love. It is also quite disturbing when you find the only really attractive are the OCD girl with crazy hair and the alcoholic bitch (no really, her only defining feature is that she is has a really sharp tongue for criticism- in fact its the tool of her trade) who has severe issues in life because her father committed suicide before her very eyes at an impressionable age. They are not exactly lovable characters but it seems only the crazy people appeal to me. Ahhh Faye and Hanners =)

Its not that other more normal people aren't appealing- its just that, I don't know. Eye bagged, red eyed, tear streaked faces are lovely to me. Scars are thropies and pain makes one stronger- the beauty in surviving is to keep at it when it just gets worse.

Oh yea I forgot, its that irritating streak of mine again. That saving people thing. Or as somone (the only person who seems to have heard this little trait) has phrased it "you're a sensitive new age guy caught between the metrosexual and the chivalric knightshit". Pushing that aside abit, I don't know about being metrosexual (as in to say being image focused as opposed to who i am, says wikipedia, no it has NOTHING to be with one's sexual orientation) and secondly the chivalric knightshit (ahem) is - I don't know.

Alright I really don't know. Love shouldn't be about getting wasted and then laid (that is not love that is a badly plotted modern day romance movie). Heck, I have never gotten wasted, alcohol abhors me as it did in my father's veins (he is allergic). Moving back, why and how can Questionable Content cause so much strife internally? Sure it has its loveable bits but there's something strange about it- something- realistic (alright before you start mentioning pintsize I said SOMETHING, not EVERYTHING) It could happen, but its not healthy, no their lifestyle is very decidedly not healthy as rated by the value system I was born and raised with.

And about Sunday. Being serious- what do I do about being serious? Like This entire life is like a movie, running accross my eys, over and under all around me. Its like a huge script written 2D and a character just woke up 3D, and is baffled by what he is surrounded by. Transcending earth and the things we can justify and prove, going into the realm of the divine and God- I really don't know, I'm sorry Rachel, its not that I'm not serious, I just can't take this seriously, not this, not life, not anyone or anything. It just does not seem real enough.

I fear the big issue we're facing here is DESENSITIZATION. Numb to life, having lived so short but to feel so much. Rubbed raw to the point its nerves are dead, bleeding so much it can't feel the damage. As much as I loved it, I hatd being an empath and perhaps it has finally done me in. Not the science fiction psychic kind- just the kind that really feels the pain he thinks you are going through (regardless whether you are feeling what he percives you are) and believes he understands because of it.

I don't know how I got here. Women cry out in tears and soul wrenching sobs but men cry out in dry anguish and tortured fustration.

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And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home

XKCD

Hahaha! I haven't enjoyed my nights as much since... like ever. Staying out is really awesome for morale (but terrible for your sleep hours lol)

I may not be QX, and I sure as hell don't really KNOW the coding shitz but thus is clear enough to be understood. Brilliantly funny.



I lawled till I cried


Why does that ever look so familiar :'(



HAHAHAHA- Am I the only one who finds the last panel kind of sullies the joke? xS



I'm going completely off tangent with what I feel about this but... why do they ALWAYS portray a girl for these things?!

LoL Damn I spent all morning reading those <.<

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Im not slacking off, my code's compiling.

Wreck-Gar

WAHA- I'm back! I PASSED!!! 15/9/08 is one day to remember. EIGHT tries! Madness. Well ok yes for those who suddenly checked their calenders it is the 17th because on 15th I stayed the night for island-wide and last night I was too tired and forgot all about posting.

RANDOMNESS:
I want the Tour de Japon soundtrack DVD or whatever thingy. Or even better, get the live concert! (But its long over, like 4 years ago). Can't wait for Dissidia and maybe FF-XIII but I don't own a PS3 (I could probably purchase one in a few years time at a greatly reduced cost but what the bleh, by then I think PS2s will be going for like 100 dollars or something)

I'm not a very good Final Fantasy fan x$ Having only played 4, 7, 8, 9 and 7 CC. Not to mention I only completed 7, 9 and 7 CC. Tsk tsk. Well I would do the older ones but they bored me. And the other newer ones are *cough*not *cough* available*cough* on*cough* a *cough*platform-i-own. Well other than XI but that is an mmorpg that no one I know plays so whatever to that.

You people know those online love calculators? Most of them are just trash but a few are more- special. Special like in malicious. Well yess that IS kind of cute in a way but its all in the privacy policy if you boyther to read it.

[This part is LIFTED]
Terms of Use
Welcome to [name of some stupid site]. We hope you enjoy our site.

Information Collected by [the same stupid site]
When you use the Secret-loves Calculator, everything typed at the web form will be transmitted to the owner of the link. If you do not agree to this, please do not fill in anything.

By accessing this website and/or the use of the service therein, you expressly permit, authorize and give consent to the CrushCalculator website to share information about you or provided by you to any third party.
[End of the LIFTED trash]

You see, it seems like harmless fun, well it seemed like harmless fun say about 3 years ago! But now, I'm not so sure. Perhaps once one has nothing to lose, many things become quite funny in retrospect.

And if you ever do find a real working love calculator let me know. I have to find the creator because Im searching for God :)

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Dare to be stupid!