Treasure post haste

I know I always start my posts with "i have not posted for so long" but to me that is the most natural thing to do. Its my writing style, this is how i flow.

Haven't touched this little piece in a long time. Sometimes when life catches you in its flow its hard to keep sight of the shore. All the glitz and glamor on the cruise makes you forget the boat is not solid ground. Solid ground is out there, beyond the waves, beyond the horizon.

I hate to say I'm blessed because I know how screwed up some people's lives are.

Yet, being screwed up and recovering is what makes people normal. What about people who have never dared to screw up, do we never grow?

Guess I'd rather hurt then feel nothing at all.

There I go sounding like some floaty teenage girl. Pui.

Feeling nothing is the worst. Pain is how your body lets you know something is going wrong. Without pain, you wouldn't know if you were really alive, or dying, or dead.

Years ago, I said those same words- and you agreed wholeheartedly. Now, I still think the same, but I behave differently. If I were judged by Hofstede Id be an odd mix indeed. High PDI, low MAS, fluctuating IDV and low UAI. I dont know about my LTO, sometimes it seems like I know where I am going. Sometimes I don't even know today from yesterday, from now to tomorrow. Much less plan.

I understand what it means to forgive. I comprehend what it means to accept. I can fathom what it is to care. I know what love is. So why is it all these are just like abstract concepts. Forgiveness, acceptance, care & concern, love. Can they be seen? Yes, their expression can. Can they be felt? Yes, the result of their application. Can they be isolated? Yes, not all come into play at the same time or circumstance. Therefore, are they real? From what we have above, surely so. *whisper* Can they be replicated? ... for me, I don't know.


Treasure
Memories linked to hesitant love are delicate,
So don't disappear.

Floating in the sky, I want to tell this only to you.
This feeling of mine I send to you by a gentle wind.
I always want to hear them.
These words that I want to say only to you are gifts from destiny.
The darkness in the sky reflected the view that'll never leave me.

Memories linked to hesitant love are delicate,
So I pray they won't disappear.
The treasure in my heart one day will wear away.
Hey, do you realize our fate? Or it is all right to forget it?
The tear we've locked away with yesterday sky.

My heart beats like an explosion when I want to say my honest feeling to you.
My words become the opposite of what I'm supposedly saying
From now, I can't do anything.
It feels like the summer season has come
and my surrounding has become hot.
The color of morning glow reflected the secrets that I keep hidden in my heart.

The moment after it become so fast that I can't memorize it.
The thing I won't forget is your smile.
The time went so slow when I don't know whether it'll hurt me even deeper.
Hey, the truth is I'm afraid. Will it finally break?
Yesterday dream has become overflowing tears.

Chasing after a rough path that won't be reach.
Joys and sorrows are still running away.
The treasure in my memories I will protect it for sure.
Hey, when we confused, is it okay to turn back?

Memories linked to hesitant love are delicate,
So I pray they won't disappear.
The treasure in my heart one day will wear away.
Hey, do you realize our fate? Or it is all right to forget it?
The tear we've locked away with yesterday sky.
_____________________________________

Sin mocks

Can't believe blogger has no mobile app. No free one that works at least. Such a farce, damn it nothing is going well today.

Oh how privileged are those who still have hearts that cry

Lime Green

I have posted here in a long long time. In the sense that a real post would include some part of my being poured into this page. Life works in funny ways, I still have yet to come to the complete realization and acceptance that our life is one continual flow day after day, in which everyone lives in at the exact same time. The person on your left or right is as "person" as you are to yourself, they have lives they have troubles, feelings and opinions. They are not just 2D backdrops for you to live out your life upon. It is quite hard to come to terms with that concept.

Today the girl with the lime green bag re-appeared. Fiona, the last I remember of her was from J2 before the study break. I don't even remember her coming down on results day- I was too preoccupied thanking God for my results. That- that phenomena right there is what is stopping me, it is what is hindering me from going forward any more in anything I do at all- to focus on others and realize they are all lives as well. Taking an interest in the lives of others. I suddenly realized that I knew nothing about my fellow classmates or friends, and still know nothing now. When she suddenly popped up after 3 years one fine evening I was at a loss.

What did I know of these people I spent 2 years with long ago? Nothing. I hope this is a start of something. It is exciting when people from my different facts of life clash, it gives validity to the past experiences I had. That these people I knew back then are real, that they were not figments of my imagination. That also the people I know now are as real. Or as false.

Calvary

Calvary - Planetshakers
I will lift my eyes to You
Where my help comes from
Lord I find my rest in You
Keeper of my soul


You gave it all for me
Maker of Heaven
You paid the price
So I could be with You

Jesus, I remember the cross
Where You hung upon that tree
You won the ultimate victory
Jesus, I remember Calvary

You reign
You reign over the earth
-------------------------------------------

So simple, it was never complicated to begin with.

King of my life, I crown Thee now,
Thine shall the glory be;
Lest I forget Thy thorn crowned brow,
Lead me to Calvary.

Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.

Knock x Birthday x Sleep

Lenka - Knock Knock
A second, a minute, and hour, a day goes by.
I´m hopin' just to be by your side.
I´m turnin' the handle
it won’t open.
Don’t make me wait, cause right now I need your smile.

Chorus:
Knock Knock
When life had locked me out, I turned to you
so open the door.
Cuz' you’re all I need right now it´s true.
Nothin' works like you.

Little louder x3 knockin'
Little louder [x2]

A warm bath, a good laugh, an old song that you know by heart.
I’ve tried it but they all leave me cold.
So now I´m here waiting to see you,
my remedy for all that’s been hurting me.

[Chorus]

You seem to know the way
to turn my frown upside down
you always know what to say
to make me feel like everything’s ok.

Little louder x3 knockin’ [x3]
Little louder [x2]

[Chorus x2]

Little louder x3 knockin'
Nothin' works like you, oh oh
Little louder x3 knockin'
____________________________

Haha were you expecting a knock knock joke?

I'd like to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday be it through sms, Facebook, msn or word of mouth :) This has truly been one of the most overwhelming responses I have received and to borrow a line- 真的感动人心 haha. To quote, Libra babies are like super sad cos their birthdays fall within test / exam / projectspam period. Everyone, I can feel the heartfelt well wishes (and some not so heartfelt wishes haha) but still the aggregate is massive. Feeling so loved right now scrolling down the page la- but life has to go on there are tutorials to complete and lessons to attend.

Haven't been sleeping at decent times recently D: There are a mix of reasons, from work, to diet (coffee), to gaming (BBS is addictive great)- I don't have the problem of me not being able to sleep. Instead I'd love to just collapse in a warm corner of the bed and slap on the ZZZs but I find ways to be occupied. In fact it is nearly 2am now ad I missed 1111 and 1234, yet again. I could really use a wish right now even though the birthday magic is over :(

You know, even after I have said so much- I really do miss them. The days we spent together are magically preserved forever, a standard of craziness to which other days of madness have to compete against. Yet I cant bring myself to take 3 steps back- again I ask: So why would I rather sit alone with my ears plugged into a monotone?

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now