It came to laugh at our naive existances

Rainy days always get me down

That song you slowly sing
Is keeping you from breaking down
It's a long way down, it's a long way

- Posted using BlogPress from my iTouch

Not the only one

From the vault.

I guess, that is the end of it. Even with the little twinge overall I feel surprisingly relieved. Being tactful or glib had nothing to do with anything- calling a spade a spade will always be the best way. How long was it? One year? Three years? I can't even remember anymore. I guess I am still the same stupidly selfish and childish person I was three years ago, mentally, emotionally- growing old is mandatory. Growing up is not. So long as there isn't a Nice Boat ending, that alone looms large and terrifyingly so.

Once again in 22 years what do I have to show for myself? A collection of worthless quips stolen from others, a series of embarrassing events, a few clumps of normalcy. Lies and more lies, pseudo confidence and flimsy personality. Wall after wall of defenses covering image after image. What is that crap I see, starting straight back at me, when will my reflection show someone who lives life? Some people want to live in a world of their own, maybe I already am irregardless of what the real world says.

Maybe on some level I admire the Matrix structure of reality, it is terrible but if it is true then maybe- just maybe there is hope of escape/rescue for me. Screw the red blue pill, I'll down the whole bottle.

I want to be selfish, to grasp at my right to have life the way I want it even after giving it away. To steal back lost time and recover unexplored possibilities. Maybe I won't be as spineless and ineffectual as I am now however right this is. Maybe I'd even be irrevocably damaged- but at least I'd have been happy- for once.

M_U_N_D_A_N_E!

Duality
Some days
I get crazed
I don't know why it's so irrelevant
I'll take deep breaths
And keep control, go on

I've tried brave
And you've tried to saved
I've tried to keep it bottled up
I think I've past my prime, lost my mind, and I'm torn

No telling what tomorrow holds
Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try
Who let, you let this feeling die, I can't get you out of my head, my head
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive

Some say
It's all fate
but I say we control our lives
and if my destiny should out best me, then thats fine
I make believe thrill and apathy co-exist in me fairly equally
The truth is, doubts are all I've got to call mine

No telling what tomorrow holds
No telling what voice takes control
Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try
Who let, you let this feeling die, I can't get you out of my head, my head
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive

Is there anybody out there (anybody out there)
Is anybody calling (anybody calling)
Woaahh, if what I say is really wrong
Is there anybody out there (anybody out there)
Is anybody calling (anybody)
Woooah, if what you say is really wrong
I'm not in control, think I'm out of control

Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try?
Who let, you let this feeling die, I can't get you out of my head, my head
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive
________________________________________________________

Did I ever tell anyone that I love Bayside? Did anyone I ever told it to actually know about Bayside? =/

I'm getting sick of work, just feel like bumming around in the office all day, talking trash to the customers and waiting for something to pop up on fb, msn or wherever. Oh and praying for 6pm to roll around quicker. Talk to me people! I'm busy but dead bored at work, I know I have a spirit of excellence to uphold and I'm not cutting corners but if I overload my resistors I will burn out not from overwork but from pure normalcy. How wearisome! How mundane!

Game updates

Almost completed Heart Gold! After much trading and badgering online I have managed to assemble Red's team :D Meaning a Pikachu, Lapras, Snorlax, Venusaur, Blastiose and Charizard! Ok for now it is just pikachu, snorlax, bulbasaur, squirtle and charmander (planning to go catch that lapras on friday) but I find there is a certain poetic justice in beating the strongest trainer in the game with HIS own team- different moveset and stats of course :)

Will spend the week training and lets see how it goes!


Non-game wise- GREAT MOVE!!!

Young Folks

If i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me
if you knew my story word for word
had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me

i did before and had my share
it didn't lead nowhere
i would go along with someone like you
it doesn't matter what you did
who you were hanging with
we could stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you

usually when things has gone this far
people tend to disappear
no one will surprise me unless you do

i can tell there's something goin' on
hours seems to disappear
everyone is leaving i'm still with you

it doesn't matter what we do
where we are going too
we can stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' 'bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you
talking only me and you

talking only me and you
talking only me and you
_________________________________

I'm not sure why but this upbeat song brings me to tears.

Once again Triple Triad reminds me why I enjoyed FF8 so much. Oh, and Selphie too :3